Robin Wasserman - Shattered

“My faith in you ,” he said. “No secrets. Starting now.” He flicked a hand through the air and grinned, knowing how much I hated the fearless-leader thing. It made him all the happier to act the part. “You may go.”

I gave Ben a name.

It just wasn’t the name he wanted.

It wasn’t until I had the real name, Ben’s zone keyed into my ViM, staring at his ugly, lifelike av, that I finally decided what to do: lie.

So I sent Ben the information. William Dreyson, the name of the doctor who’d first treated me after the download, the one responsible for transplanting my brain into a new body. He had personal contact with all the mechs he worked on, and the technical skills to know which upgrades were test-run ready. The perfect candidate for a rat—and, added bonus, he even looked like one.

Ben would buy it and leave me alone. Riley would never know I’d considered betraying Jude. And Jude would never have to know any of it.

Things could go back to normal, whatever that meant. And they did—for about six hours.

I was sitting on the sidelines of the skate park, a wide plain of concrete just left of the poolhouse. It was the perfect spot for rollerslam, a game some of the newbie mechs had invented when one of them stumbled across some retro skates on the network. Spinning out of control while a fleet of wheeled mechs sped toward you and smashed you into a cement wall wasn’t quite my thing, but Sloane had become slightly addicted, and I’d promised her I’d at least give it a try. I was just gearing up the nerve to strap on a pair of wheels when Jude grabbed my arm and yanked me to my feet.

“What do you want?” I said, shaking him off.

He shook his head. “Not here.”

“You better come back!” Sloane shouted as she saw me follow him into the nearby orchard. “You promised!”

“In a minute!” I called back. Then glared at Jude. “This better be good. What? ”

Once we were safely shielded from the others by a thick crop of trees, he stopped. “I just didn’t think you’d want the others to hear what we’re about to discuss.”

“And what’s that?”

“Your true colors.”

I decided to take the chance, however unlikely, that he didn’t know anything. Bluff it out. “Color doesn’t matter to a mech, right, Jude? One of the many valuable lessons I learned from you.”

“And what did you learn from BioMax?”

So much for bluffing.

He was watching me carefully. And once he was sure I’d given up the game, he began a slow clap, the smirk creeping across his face. “Just wanted to say congratulations. You can always be trusted to live down to expectations.”

“Spying on me?” I guessed. “What, you bugged my ViM? Hacked my zone somehow?”

Jude shook his head. “Didn’t have to. Haven’t you heard? I have a source on the inside. Oh, that’s right,” he said, playfully slapping the side of his head, as if to jar loose the memory. “You do know. And you just couldn’t wait to tell your friends at BioMax.”

“I didn’t tell them,” I pointed out, without bothering to excuse myself with the circumstances, the blackmail. Either he knew or he didn’t, and most likely, he wouldn’t care. Much as I didn’t care what he thought of me.

But Riley will.

“I know,” Jude said. “That’s why I’m here. Or why you still are, to be more precise. Points off for not telling me about this Ben guy to begin with. But in the end, you picked the right team. Passing grade, just barely.”

“You were testing me?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Jude snapped. “You figured that out the moment I showed up.”

“Get away from me.”

“Don’t tell me you’re offended. ” Jude started to laugh again. “You’re the one who was considering passing information to BioMax.”

“ You’re the one who said they’re not the enemy,” I reminded him.

“And what are you?”

I didn’t reward that one with an answer.

“Now I see why you were so determined to convince me that Ani can’t be trusted. It’s because you can’t be trusted. No wonder you don’t trust the rest of us. Projection—you think everyone’s as craven as you.”

“Maybe some of them are,” I said.

“ She’s not.”

I raised my eyebrows. “I wasn’t talking about her.”

“I know how to read people,” Jude said, ignoring the implication. “I know her. And I guess now this proves that I know you. ”

“Get away from me,” I said again. He took a step toward me, then another. I wasn’t about to back away from him.

“I’m not angry,” he said. “You did what you needed to do. You looked out for yourself.” Jude grabbed my wrist, forcing our palms together. “See? We’re the same,” he said. “That still scares you. But you can’t make it disappear.”

I tried to pull away, but he was holding on too tight. So instead I closed my hand into a fist. He wrapped his fingers around mine. “I’m not scared of anything.”

“Then remember this,” he said, squeezing my fist. His other hand tightened around my wrist, nails digging into the skin. “Remember what you are and where your loyalties should lie.”

“I don’t need you reminding me. And I don’t need you testing me. I’d never betray one of us. Not to BioMax, not to anyone.”

“Not even to save yourself.”

“Not even.”

His eyes were golden, his lips turned down, missing their smirk. Strands of silvery hair swept across his forehead, nearly brushing his long lashes. His face was cold. His eyes were cold.

His hands, though made from the same material as mine, fueled by the same energy as mine, identical to mine, were warm.

He leaned toward me, his two hands still clasping my one.

I put my free hand on his chest.

To push him away. But I didn’t.

“We’re the same,” he said again.

“Not in any way that matters,” I whispered.

“In the only way that matters.” He drew closer and dropped his voice so low, I couldn’t hear it anymore. I could only watch his lips move. “You know it.”

I pushed him away.

Ripped my hand out of his. “You’re disgusting,” I said. Shouted.

Surprise skittered across his face, and then was gone. Composure, perfect control, returned. “You’re confused,” he said.

“You want to talk about loyalty?” Space, I thought. It was important to put space between us. But I would not back away from him. “Riley’s supposed to be your best friend.”

Jude nodded. “Your point?”

“That doesn’t mean anything to you?” I wanted to throw something at him. But the tree branches were bare. “No, don’t tell me, that was just another test of my loyalty. Guess I passed, right?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I wonder if that’s what Riley would say.”

For a moment, I thought he was going to lunge at me. But he stayed where he was, unnaturally still. “Riley knows who I am and what I would do—and what I would never do.”

“Never betray a friend?” I laughed. “Tell that to Ani.”

“That was a mistake,” he said quietly.

I shot an exaggerated look of horror up at the night sky. “You’re admitting you were wrong ? Is the world about to end? Should I take cover from the storm of lightning and the rain of fire?”

“And suddenly you’re so perfect?” He sneered. “So you gave your buddy at BioMax the wrong name—what do you think’s going to happen to that guy now that BioMax thinks he’s their leak?”

I hadn’t thought about it at all.

And Jude knew it.

“And then there’s poor, sad Ariana Croft,” he said with a slow shake of his head.