Jenna Black - Resistance

“Didn’t like it at first,” Kurt continued, his voice matter-of-fact. “I was little, and it hurt. So sometimes I’d try to say no. Some of the johns liked that, some didn’t. But Ma punished me every time, said I didn’t have to like it, I just had to do it.”

Nate wanted to go back in time to kick the woman’s ass. What kind of a mother would do that to her own kid? Suddenly, his own mom sounded almost saintly. Kurt’s arms tightened around him.

“Relax. It was a long time ago, and she was trying to do her best for me, in her own way.”

Nate couldn’t take it anymore. He extricated himself from Kurt’s arms and looked him straight in the face. “Doing her best for you? Are you out of your mind?”

“I grew up in Debasement, Nate. My career choices were drug running, smuggling, or whoring. Ma pointed me toward the one where I didn’t have to join a gang so I was less likely to get killed. I didn’t get it at the time, but I do now. You think I’m such a hard-luck case, but by Debasement standards, I was always one of the lucky ones. Even before you came along.”

Nate knew he was right, but that didn’t make it any easier to bear. Actually, it made it harder. It was unconscionable that anyone should live in the conditions Kurt was describing, much less innocent children. And it was unconscionable that the government of Paxco didn’t give a damn, the attitude being, “We give them free food and shelter, what else could they possibly need?” Nate had always told himself he would fix it someday, but by introducing Dorothy, his father had neatly snatched his good intentions away.

“My point is, mothers are complicated. I didn’t get along with mine, but I bawled my eyes out when she died. And sometimes I still miss her.”

Nate reeled in his righteous indignation, remembering why Kurt had started this conversation in the first place. His throat hurt suddenly, and his chest ached.

“I must have had more than a hundred people tell me how sorry they were today,” he said. “And you’re the only one who has any idea what I’m feeling.”

Nate was touched beyond words that Kurt had told him all this, had opened up to him about a past that he didn’t like to talk about. They came from such different worlds, and yet Kurt understood him better than he had any right to. And Nate understood Kurt, too.

Kurt might have infiltrated his household as a spy for the resistance, but he did it because he thought it was the right thing to do. He had a heart of gold, and he’d never shown any sign that he resented Nate for his privileged upbringing. He’d never belittled Nate’s problems, and he was always there when Nate needed him.

Nate didn’t have the best track record when going with his gut, but that didn’t mean he should forever ignore what it was telling him. There were two people in the whole world that he trusted with his life: Nadia and Kurt. Kurt and his resistance might have an agenda, but with Dorothy looming on the horizon, it was time for Nate to learn what that agenda was.

He blew out a deep breath, hoping he wasn’t being the biggest sap in the universe. Then he met Kurt’s eyes.

“If I tell you what really happened on the day Nadia was arrested, will you promise me not to tell your resistance about it without my go-ahead?”

Kurt sat back and thought about it instead of volunteering a quick agreement. Nate gave him credit for that, and hoped it meant that he would be as good as his word, whatever he decided.

“You believed in me even when everyone around you was convinced I offed your original,” Kurt said slowly. “Even when I tried to make you believe it myself. You risked your life to try to help me. I think I owe you a promise or two.”

“Even though you wouldn’t have needed my help if I hadn’t gotten you into trouble in the first place?” If only Nate hadn’t been so eager to give his father the virtual finger by screwing around at a state event, the two of them wouldn’t have had to go looking for privacy, and they wouldn’t have overheard what they should never have overheard.

Kurt shrugged. “It took both of us to get into that mess. So yeah, even though.”

Nate nodded. And then he told Kurt the whole story.

Kurtsat on Nate’s bed, arms curled around his bent knees as he contemplated everything Nate had told him. There was a haunted, faraway look in his eyes, and Nate wondered if he might have lost anyone he knew to Thea’s experiments. The Basement was an abysmally dangerous place, and people disappeared from it on a regular basis, which was how Mosely had kept anyone from noticing his depredations. Nate didn’t have the impression that Kurt had left any good friends behind when he’d left the Basement to come work for him, but then there were a lot of things about his previous life that Kurt had failed to tell him. And that Nate had maybe been too squeamish to ask about.

“We’ve always known the government was corrupt,” Kurt finally said, his eyes still lost. “But no one imagined anything like this.”

“No, of course not. It’s … beyond comprehension. And the worst thing about it is my father still doesn’t think he and Mosely and Thea were doing anything wrong. He’d have happily killed me and produced another Replica who didn’t know the truth so he could keep right on doing what he was doing. He said it was for the greater good of Paxco, and I think he actually believed it.”

Kurt made a sound of disgust. “The greater good of the people in Paxco he thinks are worth a shit, you mean. He wouldn’t shed a tear if every man, woman, and child in Debasement dropped dead. Hell, he’d probably throw a party. More money for the people who matter. Hurray!”

Nate wished he could argue the point, but he couldn’t. His father had made it very clear that he thought the whole population of Debasement were leeches, sucking out the lifeblood of society. And he was far from the only high-ranking Paxco Executive to feel that way.

How many of Paxco’s top Executives would have objected if Thea’s experimentation had gone public? The Basement-dwellers would no doubt have risen up in violence, and much of the Employee class would probably have joined them, fueled by righteous indignation, but Nate bet many, if not most, of the Executives would have agreed with the Chairman that appeasing Thea by “sacrificing” certain unsavory elements of the population was the right thing to do. They wouldn’t have been willing to give up the money and privileges Thea provided for them by making the Replica program possible. It made Nate ashamed to be an Executive.

“We put a stop to it,” Nate said, reminding himself as much as Kurt. “Nadia and me.” He made a face. “Well, mostly Nadia. But I did what I could.”

Kurt whistled. “Kinda wish I could have been there to see it. Never thought the little mouse would have it in her.” He smiled crookedly, and there was something that looked a lot like admiration in his eyes.

“She was never a mouse,” Nate said, though he knew Kurt had always seen her that way, as someone timid and fragile and maybe even weak-willed. But then Kurt couldn’t understand the burden she’d been carrying since she was four years old and promised to him. Nate had never truly understood it, either, not until everything had started to crumble. “She was amazing. And now she’s paying for it while you and I go on with our lives.”

“Most times doing the right thing means taking risks,” Kurt said. “You gotta be prepared for those risks to turn around and bite you. If you’re not willing to face the consequences, you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.” He reached out and squeezed Nate’s shoulder. “I’m sorry Nadia got bit, but at least it’s not fatal. It coulda been a lot worse.”