Eve Silver - Push

I’m scared to call out. Instead, I shimmy along the floor in the direction I think will take me to Jackson.

How long have I been doing this? It feels like an hour, an agony of waiting for my vision to come back online in spangled increments, for the buzzing/roaring in my ears to dull and fade. I’m terrified the Drau will get us, that my team is already gone.

I bump up against something. A shoulder.

I feel a vest with pockets but no big, round circles. Not Jackson. Luka. I find his hand. Squeeze. He squeezes back.

Now what? Wait it out? Keep moving?

I feel around until I hit the doorframe—Luka must have dragged himself this far. Then I create a map in my mind of where Luka was in relation to Jackson and Carly.

Using my elbows, I drag myself along, combat style, relying mostly on one arm because the other’s still weak and numb.

On the floor in front of me, a small shadow shifts, dark against the light floor. I freeze. It freezes. I move. It moves.

My hand.

I’m seeing my hand as I drag myself forward on my belly. It isn’t much, but it’s something.

Relief trickles through me in a weak stream. I focus on my hands, willing myself to be able to see my individual fingers.

I do. I see them.

I lift my head and manage to make out a doorway, the subtle shift in light enough that I can see a dark rectangle.

I try to make out any bright flares against the background, a hint of the Drau.

Nothing.

Pushing to my feet, I sway, dizzy. I take a step, stumble, almost fall, but catch myself at the last second as my shoulder bumps something solid. The wall.

Blinking, I stand there, enraged by my helplessness, desperate for control.

“Miki?” Jackson’s voice, camouflaged by the drone of a thousand nonexistent bees. I turn toward the sound, toward him. His arms come around me, solid, safe. I close my eyes.

“Carly?” I rasp.

“I don’t know. I didn’t get to finish what I started.”

“The Drau?”

“If there were any still here, would we still be breathing?”

He has a point.

“Can you see?” I ask.

“Just shadows.”

“Same as me. Where’s—” I swallow against the lump in my throat. “Where’s Carly?”

“Back here.” Jackson shifts me a few feet forward, but Carly’s not there. Not that I can find.

“Are you sure she’s this way?”

“Yeah.”

“Where?”

He hesitates. “I don’t know.”

I get down on my knees and move forward, hands outstretched. I turn right. Left. I can’t find her. Without my sight, I can’t find her.

“Wait,” Jackson says. “Stay still. Just let your eyes adjust. We’ll find her. Just give it a minute.”

He sounds like he’s strung so tight he’s about to break.

Not just because of Carly.

Because of the girl with the green eyes. Lizzie.

God, what must he be feeling?

“Did you—” I reach for him, find his hand, twine my fingers with his. “Did you see her? The girl? Lizzie?” I whisper.

He doesn’t answer right away, and when he does, his voice is so low I have to strain to hear him. “The Drau took my sister. They kept her body alive, hooked to machines. They tried to create an army of shells in her image. Three times, I’ve gone in and killed Lizzie all over again. Unplugged the machines. Pulled the tubes out of the army of clones the Drau created from her DNA.” He pauses. “Looks like I’ll be doing it a fourth time.”

I tighten my hold on his hand, feeling sick.

“She saved my life,” I say. “Maybe—”

“Don’t say it. Don’t say it, Miki. Lizzie’s gone. Has been for five years. That thing was not my sister.”

I nod, clinging to him, sick at heart, confused, scared. I remember her weapon, a Drau weapon. I remember her taking off after the Drau, but not shooting even when she was within range. Like she didn’t want to kill her own kind.

But she did, didn’t she? On the last mission, when I was bleeding out, I could swear she shot at the Drau that came at us.

“If that girl was a shell, why did she save my life?”

“That’s what they do. Keep humans alive long enough to harvest their DNA, turn them into an army of shells.”

I shiver, horrified.

As I lift my head, I see clearer shadows and light. My vision coming back online.

Carly.

I wrap my arms tight around my waist, pressing them against my belly. I don’t want to look, don’t want to see her like that, broken and bloody.

Jackson has his glasses on, hiding his eyes. His Drau eyes. Did it work? Did he save her?

I swallow against the bile that’s crawling up the back of my throat. Trembling, I turn to where I left her lying on the floor.

My vision sharpens and tunnels to the dark splotch of blood on the light floor, to the hand-drawn, cardboard mustard label lying at the edge of the crimson stain, to Carly’s yellow wig lying two feet away.

But there’s no Carly.

She’s not there.

“Carly!” I yell. Did she simply get up and walk away? I jump up and run along the hall, looking in doorways. Jackson snags me from behind.

“Jump in thirty,” he says. “She’s not here, Miki. We can only hope she respawns when we do.”

“But—” I shake my head. This makes no sense. Nothing makes any sense. “Everything about this mission has been wrong.” I stare at Jackson. “How can you be so calm?” I whisper. “How can you take all this in stride?”

“Miki?” Not Carly’s voice. Luka’s, very weak. I turn my head to find him sitting up, leaning against the doorframe, his face so white he looks like he’s been dipped in wax.

“Man, it’s like I’ve been staring straight at the sun,” Tyrone says, walking toward us along the hall, trailing one hand along the wall, still feeling his way. “What was that?”

“Flashbang,” Jackson answers.

Tyrone nods. “Stun grenade. Meant to incapacitate, not kill. So whoever used it wanted us out of the picture for a few minutes, but not hurt or dead. Why? And who?”

He turns. His eyes narrow as he glares at Lien and Kendra. They’re leaning against the wall, Kendra’s head bent forward, buried in her hands. Lien has her arms around Kendra’s shoulders.

“Are you looking at us ? Are you seriously looking at us?” Lien asks. “Why would we do that?”

“To steal points,” Tyrone snarls. “You think we don’t know you’re griefers?”

Lien looks back at him, completely calm. “How could we steal points if we’re equally blinded? I can still barely see you. And think about it,” she says. “We’d have no way to smuggle a flashbang or whatever you called it into the game.”

“That’s crap,” Luka says. “You can’t bring anything out of the game, but you can bring shit in. Case in point, our clothes.”

“We didn’t do it,” Lien says. She glares at Tyrone. “And as for being a griefer, yeah.” Her chin kicks up a notch, like she’s daring him to comment. “I’m setting it up as much as possible for Kendra to get points. She needs to get out.” She swallows, and to my shock, her eyes fill with tears, all her bravado melting away. “She isn’t going to last. I need to get her out before the game breaks her. Or she ends up causing someone else’s death.” She holds out a hand to Tyrone. “You don’t understand. The game will kill her.”

“Yeah,” Tyrone says, “I understand. I understand way more than you think.”

Lien looks at Luka, then me, then Jackson.

Tears trickle along her cheeks, and she holds Kendra, her chin resting on the crown of the shorter girl’s head. “You don’t understand,” Lien says. “You don’t understand.”

But we do. We all understand.