Mira Grant - Symbiont

Hearing him talk about Tansy’s anatomy—and hence my own—in such coldly clinical terms made me uncomfortable in a way I couldn’t quite define, only squirm away from, that horrible hot/cold slush still rocking in my belly until I felt like I was going to throw up at any moment. I forced myself to hold my ground, and demanded, “Where is she?”

He smiled again. This time he didn’t show his teeth, but somehow, that didn’t make things any better. Not when his words contained all the teeth his smile was missing.

“Haven’t you figured that out by now?” he asked. “She’s back at my office, waiting to die. And if you don’t tell me how to save Anna, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”

That was it: that was where my ability to cope came to an end. I almost felt it snap. I didn’t say another word. I just turned and fled the room, leaving Dr. Banks shouting after me, unanswered.

Nathan pushed away from the wall when I came barreling into the hall, flinging myself into his arms and sobbing. He answered by closing his arms around me and holding me close, waiting for me to cry myself out. He didn’t say a word. Sometimes, words weren’t a good thing; they got in the way.

Maybe the sleepwalkers had the right of it. All their communication was pheromonal. There was no room for confusion or misunderstanding, because there were no words. Sadly, Nathan was human, and I was close enough to human, and we couldn’t communicate unless I opened my mouth. I pushed myself away from him, wiping my eyes with the side of my hand, and said, “Tansy’s still Tansy.”

“What?”

“Anna was made using her genetic material, but he didn’t kill the original host, and I don’t think he extracted the entire implant from her brain tissue. Tansy’s Tansy . If we can get her back to your mom, she might be able to save her. She might be able to… to put her together again.”

“Did he say where she was?”

This was the bad part. I hesitated, and his face fell as he realized that whatever I was going to say next, it wasn’t going to make him happy. My next words only confirmed that: “She’s at SymboGen.”

“Sal… SymboGen is in San Francisco. There’s a bridge and a bay between us and them, not to mention the quarantine. We had to stop supply runs weeks ago, because it’s too locked down. He was only able to get here because USAMRIID was helping him. There’s no way we’ll be able to get all the way into the city, evade the gangs of sleepwalkers in the streets, get into the building, find her, get her out, and get back here. There’s just no way.”

“I know,” I said miserably. Then I took a deep breath, and continued: “But I still want to tell your mother. I think she should be the one who gets to decide whether or not this is a thing we’re going to do.”

“You know what she’s going to say. She’s going to say it’s too dangerous.”

Maybe that was what she would have done if it had been me in San Francisco. But if it had been me, it would have been Nathan advocating for action, saying that they could find a way to cross the Bay if that was the only thing keeping them from bringing me home. “Impossible” had a way of changing shapes depending on what was at stake. Dr. Cale had cried when she thought that Tansy was genuinely lost to us. Real tears, not the sort of thing that a person did for show.

“Tansy is her daughter. She should have a say, and I want to tell her anyway,” I said. “I’m going to tell her anyway.”

Nathan nodded, and together we turned and walked back across the lab, past the empty workstations, toward the place where Dr. Cale was struggling to save the future.

The sound of shouting reached us long before Anna’s bed came into view. I couldn’t make out any words at first, but it sounded like at least three people were yelling at each other, each providing slightly contradictory instructions. We came around the last corner and beheld what looked like a small, tightly controlled riot surrounding Anna, who wasn’t moving. Adam and Fang were both running IV lines, while Daisy was injecting something into Anna’s arm. Two more technicians I didn’t recognize immediately were doing arcane things with beeping machines. Dr. Cale was sitting back from the whole scene, her hands folded in her lap, somehow managing to effortlessly project the impression of absolute control. Not a one of the people in front of her would sneeze without her permission, and she knew it. This was her world.

And I was about to disrupt it. I sped up, moving into her field of vision. She blinked at me, expression turning briefly perplexed. Then she waved for me to come closer. The others kept working, too preoccupied with the effort of keeping Anna alive to pay attention to anything that wasn’t a direct command.

The hot/cold slush in my belly was beginning to melt, becoming a warm, solid mass of resignation. Resignation was the one emotion that could win out over everything else, because once it was fully formed, nothing else could get past it. Not even fear.

“What’s going on, Sal?” she asked.

“Tansy’s still in there.” I had tried to think of ways to soften the news while Nathan and I were walking across the building. I hadn’t managed to find any. This wasn’t the sort of thing that could be broken gently, or explained in a way that didn’t change everything. “Dr. Banks has her body on life support back at SymboGen, and he didn’t remove her primary segment. I want to go get her. Tell me I can go get her.”

Dr. Cale stared at me, so stunned that even the pretense of serenity dropped away, leaving her slack-jawed and bewildered. I looked defiantly back, waiting for her to raise some objection that I could counter.

Sure enough… “It’s too dangerous,” she said. “We don’t know where Sherman and his people are. They could decide to take you back, and we’d have no way of fighting them off. Or the army could step in. Or you could be attacked by sleepwalkers.”

“So I take Fang or Fishy with me,” I said. “I wasn’t suggesting I go alone, just that I go . I don’t think you have anyone who knows SymboGen better than I do at this point. I understand the layout of the building, and I can find her.”

“USAMRIID is there.”

“USAMRIID is a risk to me no matter what we do, or don’t do. Dr. Banks as good as said that they were planning to raid this place. We need to move.” I felt terrible about that, and I was certain everyone else was going to feel even worse. I had been Sherman’s captive while they were turning an abandoned factory into a home, nesting like they were never going to be forced to move again. The gardens, the hydroponics systems, even the catering and food service equipment… we didn’t have the capacity to take all that with us when we left. Wherever we went next, we’d be starting over from scratch.

Dr. Cale looked at me coolly, studying my face as if she could find the key to all her questions hidden there. Then, to my profound disappointment, she shook her head and said, “I’m sorry, Sal. I can’t let you do this.”

“Am I your prisoner now?” The words came out louder than I had intended for them to, but they weren’t as loud as my anguished thoughts. I thought better of you , they screamed, and I thought you loved her . Adam stopped fiddling with Anna’s IV and turned to face me, his eyes wide and liquid in his pale, drawn face. He looked terrified. I understood the sentiment. “Are we back to this again? Are you going to be like Sherman and lock me up for my own good? Or like USAMRIID, putting people in their private zoo? Or maybe like Dr. Banks, doing whatever it is he did to Tansy in order to keep her quiet? You know she didn’t go with him willingly. She kicked and she fought and he took her apart one piece at a time because she wasn’t being convenient. She wasn’t being easy . They both took prisoners. Everyone in this game has taken prisoners, except for you. Am I where you start?”