Geoffry Landis - Great Shakers

“Let’s just say, it doesn’t make us very popular right now.”

The President shrugged. “So, when is that news? What are they going to do about it?”

“Well, I’ll tell you what they’re going to do. In just about,” the Secretary of State looked at his watch, “three minutes, the Brits are going to stand up on their chairs, and then all jump off at once.”

“That’s bad?”

“Well, let’s say that it’s not exactly good.”

Ted Hoskins looked at the newspaper over his morning coffee. Looks like today there was going to be a jump scheduled for ten-fifteen in the morning, and another one just before dinner. The factory he worked at always let people out ten minutes before, so everybody could bring a chair and get ready. Everybody took it as a little break, a chance to do some socializing and catching up on gossip as well as getting in some exercise, while serving the country. The kids got a break from school. By gum, he thought, this is the way America should be, everybody pulling together to a common goal, every day.

“Say, Chief, look at this,” the Secretary of State said.

The President, finished with his comics and just starting the crossword, didn’t look up. “I thought we didn’t have to jump for another hour. You don’t have another idea, do you?” Last time the SOS interrupted him like this, just look what happened.

“No, no, you’ll like this,” the Secretary said. “The paper says that, since the jumping started, wars throughout the world have diminished. People are too busy jumping off their chairs to fight.”

“Really?” said the President. Boy, the press had really dragged him through the coals over that one.

“Really,” said the Secretary. “No more wars. Well, not as many.”

“Hey, how about that,” the President said. He brightened. “Say, you think I’ll get the Nobel peace prize?” “Probably not,” the Secretary said. “Those Swedes just don’t know a good thing when they see one.”

“Heck.” The President looked down at the crossword, wrote something in, and then frowned. “Say, what’s a five letter word for a woman you don’t want to meet, ends in ‘TCH’?”

The Secretary of State thought for a moment. “Maybe, a witch?”

The President reached for his eraser.