Bud Sparhawk - Sam Boone's Appeal to Common Scents

So he was doubly surprised to see the tiny Rix just as he started to squeeze himself through the narrow, diamond-shaped Dimannian airlock. “Where have you been?” Sam asked by way of greeting. “I was getting worried about you. Didn’t think I’d see you before I left.”

CLICK! “I wouldn’t have let you get away without thanking you for your sage advice, Earth-Sam. As a result of my decision I feel wonderful. It was the most moving experience of my life. Oh, I cannot believe how unfulfilled I was before this happened, how limited were my horizons, how—”

“OK, OK, so you got laid and it felt great. How did the little lady, Sslinno, come out?” Sam could only guess what the poor thing had gone through—something appropriate to the nightmares of the New Victorians, he imagined.

“Sslinno? Oh, she is fine, a little tired perhaps, but what can you expect after laying all of those eggs and building that glorious, unbelievably sexy incubator.”

“Incubator? Eggs? I thought that you two, er, that is…” Sam stumbled for a moment and then decided that the direct approach was best. “How did you do it?” he asked, point blank.

The Rix hopped back. “Why Sam, that is a very personal question. However, since you shared your own ridiculous mating practices with me, I will tell you. We only did it the normal way, after all, this was the first time for both of us!”

Oh yeah, Sam thought, remembering the wicked looking thing that Sslowa had grown in preparation for his tryst, and what would the “normal” way be?

Sslowa continued; “After Sslinno confirmed to me that she was in the female phase, she proved it by laying a beautiful clutch of eggs and then building an incubator over them, striving her utmost to make it impenetrable. Oh, Earth-Sam, it was the most wonderful, beautiful assemblage ever created; it had solid ceramic coatings, steel structural supports, and a ferroconcrete core with a titanium cap. As I watched it grow I felt myself become increasingly excited; this was one formidable female, one worthy of my attentions. The lust in me was nearly irresistible.

“Then, after she placed the final cap on the incubator, she did the challenge dance and dared me to assault it. She danced around for hours, defending the nest, moving with agility to block my every feint, working me up to the point that I thought I would explode. Finally, I could stand it no longer and, leaping over her to surmount the nest with a strength that I did not know I possessed, I found the single weak point, drilled into it, and snapped off my positor to seal the breach and fertilize our brood. Sslinno sang the submission song when I broke free and I did the victory dance in response. It was the most wonderful, fulfilling experience of my life.” Sam sighed; as on Earth, descriptions of the actual event turned out to be such a disappointment. “So, after a while I guess there will be a couple of little Rix from you two?”

“A couple? No, Earth-Sam, if what I suspect is true about the potency that we both felt, then Scrofulous Five will have a new contingent of Rix engineers within a year—probably a hundred or more. Our group will once again be back to full strength! Thank you Earth-Sam, thank you for your sage advice.”

Such were the ways of love among the Galactics, Sam thought as he said his farewells and quickly struggled through the hatch.

He just hoped that he could get inside before Sslovva asked him to be the godfather.