Anonymous - Pearl

Sighing, dying!

All nature now is in a glow,

Now they're coming, oh! oh!! oh!!!

Mutual keeping to one tether,

Sweet it is to come together.

NURSERY RHYMES.

A parson who lived near Cremorne

Looked down on all women with scorn;

E'en a boy's white fat bum,

Could not make him come;

But an old man's piles gave him the horn.

A cheerful old party of Lucknow,

Remarked, "I should like a fuck now!"

So he had one and spent,

And said, "I'm content!

By no means am I so cunt-struck now."

There was a young man of Peru,

Who lived upon clap juice and spew;

When these palled to his taste,

He tried some turd paste,

And said that was very good too.

There is a new Baron of Wokingham;

The girls say he don't care for poking 'em,

Preferring "Minette,"

Which is pleasant, but yet,

There is one disadvantage, his choking 'em.

There was an Archbishop of Rheims,

Who played with himself in his dreams;

On his nightshirt in front,

He painted a cunt,

Which made his spend gush forth in streams.

There was a young man of Newminster Court,

Bugger'd a pig, but his prick was too short;

Said the hog, "It's not nice;

But pray take my advice;

Make tracks, or by the police you'll be caught."

There was a young man of Cashmere,

Who purchased a fine Bayadere!

He fucked all her toes,

Her mouth, eyes, and her nose,

And eventually poxed her left ear.

There was a young party of Bicester,

Who wanted to bugger his sister;

But not liking dirt,

He bought him a squirt,

And cleaned out her arse with a clyster.

There was a young man of King's Cross,

Who amused himself frigging a horse,

Then licking the spend

Which still dripped from the end,

Said, "It tastes just like anchovy sauce."

A president called Gambetta,

Once used an imperfect French Letter;

This was not the worst,

With disease he got cursed,

And he took a long time to get better.

There was a young girl from Vistula,

To whom a friend said, "Jef has kissed you, la!"

Said she, "Yes, by God!

But my arse he can't sod,

Because I am troubled with Fistula."

A new patent shoe-horn, for the insertions of big pricks into tight bum-holes, is reported to have been invented by a lady member of the Comйdie Franзaise, who is said to place the half skin of a peach, turned inside out, upon the tip of a lover's penis, before he is allowed to enculer his chиre amie, who prefers bum-fucking to the old orthodox plan of coition.

"I see you have your everlasting stocking on," said her fond papa, at Southend, to a Whitechapel young lady of twelve, who was wading bare-legged on the beach. "I don't know about that, father, for my arse is covered with the same stuff, and that's got a hole in it."

SUB-UMBRA, OR SPORT AMONG THE SHE-NOODLES.

(Continued.)

Next morning Annie and her sisters rallied us upon our late appearance at the breakfast table, remarking with a pouting look, "that we could not care much for their company if we laid a-bed and left them to themselves for the best half of the day, and that Rosa was just as bad, for she was actually still in dishabille, taking her breakfast in her own room."

Here mama interposed, by adding, "Besides, Walter, I am astonished you should copy Frank's lazy ways, you who on your first arrival here were so eager for early morning walks; look at Annie, she is not half so rosy and animated as she looked after your first walk."

A deep flush passed across Annie's face at this allusion to our first eventful walk, when we had the adventure with the bull, but I prevented her parents' observing it by replying: "That residents in town were always in such a hurry to enjoy the fresh air, and that it seemed to have an extraordinary somnolescent effect upon me, as I could hardly keep my eyes open at supper time, or rouse myself from sleep in the morning."

frank. — "I'm glad you have found out it is not all laziness now. Walter will take my part when I assert it is the natural drowsiness of youth, which is readily induced by the keen bracing air we breathe all day."

Papa made a few incredulous, ironical remarks about the youth of the present day, and then breakfast being over, as he rose from the table, said: "Walter, would you mind riding a dozen miles to oblige me. Frank would not be ready to start for an hour at least; besides, I would rather trust you than him with the lady my note is for; Mrs. Colonel Leslie is both young and gay, and I would rather not run the risk of Frank being one day a corespondent in the Divorce Court, and caution you to take care of yourself."

I readily assented, more especially when I noticed a shade of jealous anxiety flit across Annie's tell-tale face. The horse was already at the door, so springing into the saddle I rode off with a fluttering anticipation of something racy being likely to turn up. I shall not trouble about my reflections during this delightful hour's ride; the atmosphere was most deliriously bracing, and my thoughts were so amorously bent that when I reined up at the lodge-gate, at the entrance to the Colonel's grounds, I felt that I could fuck anything in petticoats, from a witch to a gatepost; the gatekeeper soon passed me in, and springing from my saddle before the door of a fine old Elizabethan hall, my knock was promptly responded to by a most handsome young coloured fellow with a Hindoo cast of features.

Mrs. Leslie was at home, and he begged I would excuse her coming down to the drawing-room, as she was still at her toilette, and would immediately see me in her private boudoir.

This courteous message revived all my romantically amorous ideas, with which I had indulged myself during my ride.

Ushered into the boudoir, I found the lady of the house to be a beautiful brunette of about three-and-twenty, with a most bewitching expression of countenance, whilst her large, full, dark eyes seemed to read my very soul as she extended her hand and drew me to a seat by her side, saying: "So, you are cousin Walter, I suppose; how is it that Frank did not ride over with his papa's note? But tell him," she added with a very arch look, "that I was quite as well pleased to see you, and that I consider his cousin quite as fascinating as himself."

Then ringing the bell, she continued, "Will you take a cup of chocolate with me after your ride? it will invigorate me for the serious business of your uncle's note," opening a drawer and laying several bundles of papers like legal documents on the table, just as the servant entered (he was the good-looking Hindoo who had first introduced me).

mrs. leslie. — "Vishnu, bring up the chocolate, with two cups and some biscuits, and mind not to forget the flask of noyau," remarking to me as he disappeared, "Is he not a good looking heathen? The Colonel had him long before he married me, and I call him his principal Hindoo deity; whenever I look at him it puts me in mind of Joseph and Potiphar's wife, especially now the Colonel is away; do you not think it a burning shame to leave a young wife all alone by herself?"

She continued to run on in this curious way, without giving me a chance to make a reply or observation in return, as she busied herself laying out the papers, making pretence of an awful lot of business to be gone through.

The servant now brought in the chocolate, &c., and was dismissed with the order to tell Annette that her mistress would be too busy for some time, and was not to be disturbed until she rung for the completion of her toilette.