Anonymous - A Man with a Maid IV

“But I can’t think of anything, Jack! Oh, my, I was to give those notes to Fanny tonight as part of her wages. Whatever shall I do?”

“Of course I will replace them for you.”

“Oh no, Jack, I couldn’t allow that!”

“But that is silly, darling,” I laughed, “because very shortly you’re going to my wife and I will be entirely responsible for the money that you carry in that pretty purse of yours. But look through it again, because perhaps you have misplaced it.”

She took my advice, but after a search of five minutes, having several times emptied her purse on the table, she tearfully confessed that the money was absolutely missing and that she hadn’t the slightest idea where she could have lost it.

Vaguely I remembered that the two caterer’s assistants had been near that little sofa in the process of serving us our supper. Now it was just possible that, while we were-staring at each other and so engrossed in our own conversation and thoughts, they might have seized the opportunity to pilfer the money from Alice’s purse since it opened noiselessly.

Of course I could not openly accuse either of them until I had some proof. But, remembering that the young man had been so nervous and obviously ill at ease in the performance of duties for which I had assumed he was fitted by experience, I resolved to test his honesty and learn whether he had any knowledge of the missing notes.

I had a kind of presentiment, and so I told Alice to remain where she was, and I went out into the hallway. There was the effeminate youth, leaning patiently against the wall, arms folded. He gave a kind of guilty start when he saw me emerge, and in a rather husky but weak voice asked, “Have you finished with the plates and the ice bucket, sir?”

“Very nearly,” I said gruffly. “But would you do me a favor? I find myself in need of some change and wonder if perhaps you have any money on you.”

“I’m not sure I have much change, sir,” was his answer.

“Oh, well, be a good fellow, and let me see what you have anyway,” I said with an encouraging smile.

He plunged a rather slim hand into the pocket of his trousers, and drew it partly out, glancing down at it; then in the same movement he seemed to have plunged his hand back down again as if to make a further search.

“Take out what you do have and let’s see,” I

encouraged him. My suspicions began to deepen.

“I-I don’t have any change, really, sir. I’m sorry. Perhaps I could go down to the pharmacist’s shop and get you some, though,” he uneasily proffered.

“See here, my boy,” I became severe, “there’s no reason in the world why you can’t simply turn out your pockets and let me see what you do have. I may be able to make up what I need by doing some adding here and subtracting there. Be quick now, the young lady is waiting and she needs hansom fare!”

The youth turned a vivid red and gulped and then tried to speak, his brown eyes almost beseeching in their entreaty. This reaction alone confirmed my suspicion: this temporary aide to my caterer had neatly pocketed Alice’s three one-pound notes! I looked extremely grim as I approached and commanded, “Now that’s enough of this shillyshallying! Turn out your pockets, I tell you, or perhaps you would like me to go fetch a constable and have him turn them out for you!”

“Oh, please-don’t do that!” the youth gasped, and I saw his eyes blink and fill with tears. Very reluctantly he plunged his hand down into his trousers pocket again, and slowly drew it out and opened it. There were three one-pound notes!

“I think, my fine young gentleman,” I said between my teeth, “that you and I had best have a little chat. Give me the honor to enter my apartment, for we do not wish to cause a scene for the neighbors to eavesdrop upon. And don’t, I pray you, entertain the notion of trying to run for it. I was the second best half-miler in my form!”

Then to my amazement, the youth plunged his hands to his face and began to weep. I felt a kind of disgusted contempt for such a cowardy-custard who would not have the courage to face up to boldly if he really needed those three pounds so badly. I took him by the collar, and I hissed, “Quick, march now, fellow, or I’ll really put you in charge! I did not think that Mr. Willoughby would employ a common little thief!”

Opening the door to my apartment with my right hand, I shoved the youth in and closed and locked the door behind us. Alice had risen, her lovely eyes wide with curiosity and surprise, to see what all the hubbub was about.

“This fellow, Alice, had the temerity to hook your banknotes out of your purse,” I told her.

“Why, what a shocking thing to do! But why in the world would he do a thing like that?”

“Ask him, not me, my dear,” I chuckled. Having released the fellow, I clenched my fist and showed it to him: “Now, I dislike violence, but you had best make up your mind to tell me the truth or else it will go very hard with you. I certainly shall have to tell your employer, and it will mean your immediate dismissal. It remains for you, however, to determine whether I-have you booked as a thief at the local constabulary or whether I shall let you off with a sound thrashing. How old are you anyway?”

“Eight-eighteen, s-sir,” the boy quavered.

“But why in the world did you do such a wretched thing? If you had needed money, you might have thought of asking me because of embarrassed circumstances,” I told him. “I have a generous nature when I am properly approached, as my fiancйe there can confirm.” At this sly innuendo, lovely brown-haired Alice turned red as the proverbial beet, and playfully shook her little fist at me.

“I-I didn’t mean to take it, but I couldn’t help it, sir,” the youth began to sob, disgusting me with his lack of manliness.

“You had best tell me the whole story so that I can be the judge of that,” was my cold reply. “Begin by giving me your name.”

“It-it-it’s W-W-Will.”

“Will what?” I relentlessly pursued.

“W-Will Ponsonby. And truly, I-I didn’t mean to, but I had to. My aunt-my aunt is terribly ill and needs medicine and she’s all alone,” the youth tearfully stammered.

“Do you know what I think, Will Ponsonby or whatever else your name may really be?” I growled. “I think, sir, that you are a liar and a common thief, and that I am going to send my fiancйe down to the corner to fetch a constable directly! Once you are at the Bow Street lockup, you may change your tune.”

“Oh no! For heaven’s sake, don’t do that, it would kill my poor aunt, truly it would sir, sir! Oh please, you-you spoke of a b-beating a little while ago… I-I would rather take that a thousand times over than be turned over to the constable!”

“He really means it,” Alice said wonderingly.

“And I think I shall take him up on it at once,” I said impulsively. “Come along, Will Ponsonby. We shall get to the bottom of the truth of the matter!”

With this seizing him by the scruff of the neck, I pushed the fellow towards the Snuggery, gesturing with my free hand for Alice to follow, which she readily did.

Once inside, I ordered the youth to remove his black frock coat, which belonged to the establishment with which I had done business for some few years with never until this evening any difficulties. Reluctantly he did so, and stood before me in a high-collared shirt with long sleeves, and the black trousers of the establishment, which reached down to his ankles and over his polished black patent-leather shoes.

“Lift up your hands now,” I ordered, while I signed to Alice to let the pulley ropes down from the ceiling. As the youth hesitantly obeyed, I stood beside him, and, catching one of the ropes, made it fast around his left wrist, and then in a trice had the other equally pinioned. I gestured to Alice, and the pulley ropes were hoisted, stretching him to tip toe. His face was scarlet, and great tears welled in his limpid and very widened brown eyes as he stared hopelessly at Alice and me.