Jean-Jacques Tibor - The loser_s wife

"Cass, what do you mean? Offering me to… to Deke?" She saw the brief nod of agreement in the man's gray eyes. "Cass," she said, as soon as she was able to continue, "what choice…? What did you offer him?"

"Laura, I told him he had his choice between you and the contract. I told him he could either stay here as long as he wanted, with you and a raise, or go to San Francisco without you."

He took both her hands in his, and looked at her before he softly added: "Laura, he left on this mornings plane." He paused, "I'm sorry."

He held the sobbing girl in his arms for several minutes until she stopped crying. He wanted to comfort her, but there were no words, and he just sat helplessly and watched her stare out the huge picture windows.

When she turned back to him, her eyes were dry and determined. She picked up her drink, downed it, and handed the glass to him for another.

He stood at the bar, waiting, and then she finally spoke. "Cass, I should have known all along. There've been so many signs, but like a foolish schoolgirl I ignored them…" Then the tears came again. "I don't know what to do! Everything's been so rotten, I feel so used! I just can't go home to my family and listen to all their, I told you so's. I just can't face them."

"Laura, you're not going home. You're staying here. And, nothing's happened to you that a little clear thinking won't erase. None of it was your fault. You gave everything you had for a man you thought loved you. You were wrong. But, it's not a mistake you can't get over."

She looked up at him as he walked over to her. There seemed to be so much strength in him, she thought.

He handed her the drink, and took her hand. He lifted her to her feet and the two of them walked over to the window. It was quiet for a moment and then he turned her face to his.

"Laura, you'll be able to forget it. I swear to God I won't let you remember it!" He tried to laugh off the obvious seriousness in his voice. "I mean it's pretty much my fault that it happened in the first place. I feel like I'm the one to blame."

She turned and put her head on his shoulder. The tears were gone, and she felt a certain serenity in his arms…

Black Jack picked her up at the beauty salon, standing by the rear door of the Rolls until she was inside. She leaned forward to tell him to drop her off at the casino when she felt a sudden shudder. It wasn't cold, though it was down to about thirty-five degrees outside. Then she realized that the movement of sliding the glass window aside to speak to him had reminded her of another night almost five months earlier… a long trip down from the home of Harry Goldman; another Rolls Royce…

At least, she thought as she leaned back into the warming softness of the seat, I'll never have to go through that again.

She walked into the casino and decided she'd rather have a drink downstairs at the bar instead of having to make her own upstairs. She walked over to the curved cocktail lounge and took a seat at one of the stools.

The bartender was a young man, Freddy – and he nodded cheerfully to her and rushed over to serve her. As he set the napkin in front of her she noticed the undisguised admiration in his eyes and she smiled inwardly. Then she thought she felt another reaction, a reaction she was becoming very used to. Mostly with younger men. When they saw her with Cassis, there was always first the approval of her looks – but then she could almost see them wondering what she was doing with a man twenty years older than herself. She could even see some of them preening their feathers as they convinced themselves that they could take her away from the older man if they really tried.

She wanted to shout to them that they were fools, that they weren't fit to shine Cass' shoes, but her anger was soon dissipated by the pleasure she could see in the grey-haired man. He never noticed the second reaction, only the first – and she knew how proud it made him feel.

She rarely thought of anything that had occurred before she met Cass. He had been right. Time did erase a lot of bad memories, especially ones that her mind fought so hard to keep out.

In a club, even one as large as this casino, it was impossible to keep secrets and it had seemed that everyone had known that she was going to move in with Cass Mornay a few days after that party – they had known even before she did!

It had been a wonderful five months. Everything she had ever wanted, especially the total affection and absorption of the man she lived with. He had remained true to his word; Harry became manager of the entire casino and it was rumored that soon he would be in charge of the others Cassis owned, and the practice of providing whores for the big spenders had been completely discontinued with very little adverse effect.

The click of ice in an empty glass broke her train of thought and she called Freddy over and told him to make her another. As she sipped her drink, she slipped back into her reverie.

He's been so good to me, she thought, in every way. He treats me wonderfully and our love life, if not being as wildly erotic as what I'd experienced, is all I've ever wanted.

As she picked up her drink again she felt a slight twinge as she noticed the absence of a ring.

I wonder if someday he'll ask me. It's not as if I'm ashamed of living with him… it's not that. I know he loves me. I know I could make him happy whether we're married or not.

I love him so much, so very much. After Johnny, it's so wonderful to be with someone I know I can trust. To never have to worry again. But I won't rush him, she thought, I know he doesn't want anyone else…

The mention of Johnny in her mind turned her thoughts to the stories she'd read lately. The divorce had been accomplished very quickly and quietly by Cassis, and through it all there had never been any correspondence between her and the singer she'd married.

About three months ago his name had started appearing in columns and in Variety. Just as everyone had prophesied, he was becoming very big. She'd even heard that he'd begun filming a movie – and everywhere she turned there were more of the scandal sheets linking his name with some starlet or heiress.

It's strange, she thought, when he walked out of my life that day it was like he'd never existed. The mention of his name or one of his new recordings no longer meant anything to her.

I'm growing up, just like Hollywood, she thought. Soon I'll be able to invite him to one of my parties and call him 'dahling'.

She sipped her third martini and asked Freddy for the time. It was still early, too early for Cassis to be home. He'd said something about a meeting in the morning and had told her that he thought he'd be in late.

Later, as she wandered through the casino she decided to see if Harry was still there, but no one answered in his office. I miss him at the bar, she reminisced, I never have a chance to talk to him anymore.

Laura stopped at one of the roulette tables and played for about an hour.

She'd never gambled before until she'd met Deke Vito, and still never played anything except roulette. There was some perverse desire deep inside her that made her want to finally beat the wheel that had wreaked such vengeance on her. It didn't happen very often that she did win, but when she did the proportion of satisfaction made all of her playing worthwhile.

Tiring of the wheel, it wasn't one of her winning nights she thought ruefully – she called the show room and told them she'd like a table for the dinner show.

That's one thing at least, I'll never have to wait in line for a show in Reno. Not with Cassis Mornay, as my guardian and especially after we're married.

She sat at a small, but choice, table and listened to one of the big new groups to hit the country – The Gold Coast Trio. When she finished her steak and a small bottle of imported Pommard French wine, she decided that she'd wait upstairs for Cassis. She knew how delighted he was when she was there waiting for him instead of the center of attraction at one of the tables downstairs.