Jon Reskind - Sir Launcelot volume 1

Abruptly, he smashed his hand heavily down onto the bar. "Listen to me, bitch! I ought to kill you for what that yellow-backed husband of yours did to me! You and your kid both! Those were my plans… after I degraded both of you to the lowest degree I could think of… but I'll tell you true, baby… you just changed my mind over there on that couch. You moved me… understand? With all the broads I've had in my life… you come along and move me! So… don't over play your hand. You be good to me… and I'll be good to you. Don't ever see that fink, Halo, again. That's an order. You cross me… and I'll make you wish you never was born I."

Susan swallowed tightly. She gaped upward at his face that he held looking almost ceiling-ward in his blindness, the white tensile line around his thin, handsome lips sending a cold shudder down her back. Good God! She still had her Nadine and Jamey to think of.

"Do… do I have to dance in the casino?" she asked him, once more surprised at her own voice and the subjugated words that seemed to tumble from her lips.

"Yes. It's a test. But not like the other pigs. You'll wear some see-through clothes," he said matter-of-factly. "Something kind of… haremish, maybe. Anyway, come in tomorrow afternoon and we'll get you fitted out. You'll dance tomorrow night… Su Lyn, my China-doll."

Once more, Susan sighed heavily, then, drank from her glass. Good God, the world was turning upside down. She shook her head in disbelief, then said: "I'm already late. It's after six and I should've been in the dining room."

"Forget that shit. You go home and rest up tonight." He grinned. "I've got an idea you might be able to use it."

Susan couldn't help but smile back, and then his fingertips came to her face and danced over it like tiny spiders. She didn't move, and his smile broadened. He said: "I thought you might be taking it right. You… you enjoyed it, didn't you?"

She hesitated. "Y-Yes… very much."

"Y-You don't hate me?"

"No… I don't hate you… but don't ask me how I feel."

Max nodded, his head high, his fingers still brushing her lovely face.

"You come around two, tomorrow. The girls will show you the routine. Godamn… I like you, Susan. I'm… I'm going to sit here half the night and think about you… about it." He picked up his drink and emptied it. "You know," he went on, "when you're blind, you can't look into faces… into eyes… and it's hard to tell who your friends are. I've fought a tough game all my life… in a world where your best friend can carry your death warrant. I don't trust many people, baby… but I trust you."

Susan felt as if someone had wadded cotton into her throat. She tried to swallow, but couldn't. Tears were blearing her vision. Finally, she said: "Can I go somewhere and fix my hair?"

Max smiled. "Sure," he said. "There's a john off the other end of the room. But I won't be here when you get back. Just go out the same way you came in… and remember… you moved me, baby."

"I-I'll remember," Susan said.

He grinned, then said: "Kiss?"

He leaned over the bar and she kissed his lips as tenderly as she had ever kissed anyone, not really knowing why, unless it was the pleasure he had brought her and she still felt a pleasing, delightful tingling lightly within… yet, fully aware every conscious second that no matter how gentle he could become, or how much she wanted him physically, there was someone else. She had to think of Nadine… and there was Jamey… her Jamey… God, dear God, she loved him, didn't she?

Nadine couldn't believe her mother when Susan told her that she was going to dance in the casino of the Diamond Dell, and the amount of money she would be paid as a performer. Susan had expected her daughter to fly into a fit of shamed rage over her contemplated, semi-nude act, but the voluptuous young blonde had reacted exactly the opposite. She had been both excited and delighted with the thought of her mother in show business, and had even suggested that one day they might be on the same billing together.

Of course, Susan knew different… knew that had she not been forced into the role in order to protect her daughter and Jamey, as well as pacify Max Bovino, that she never in her most remote dreams would have considered such a thing. Nevertheless, she was pleased that Nadine was in favor, rather than offended by the idea; at least, that was going to make it somewhat easier. But next, there was Jamey, and she couldn't forget Max's warning. "Don't ever see that fink, Halo, again. That's an order!" Somehow, she had to cool their association without letting Jamey know the truth, even if she had to hurt him to do it: there was no telling what Max might do to all of them. God knows, he wasn't a man to be taken lightly, she was thinking as she picked up the telephone receiver and dialed Jamey's number, and she had only to refer her mind to the light soreness between her legs for emphasis of that fact… yet, thinking about it, she couldn't contain the tiny feelings of memorable provocation that rippled through her, either.

"Jamey…? This is Susan," she greeted. "Nadine said you called…"

"Hi," he replied thickly. "Yeah… but she said you worked until eleven."

He was drinking, and by the sound of his voice, rather heavily, Susan decided. She said: "I do ordinarily, but I'm not going to work in the dining-room anymore. I start in the casino tomorrow night, Jamey… dancing."

There was a moment of silence, then, he said: "Y-You what? Did I hear you right, Susan?"

"Yes… I'm sure you did, Jamey. I'm going to dance in the Diamond Dell casino," she said evenly.

"You… you mean topless… naked?" he questioned incredulously.

"Well… somewhat, I guess."

"You guess? Jesus Christ, don't you know what those girls have to do? Have you ever seen a show there… or any of their props?" he blurted, his voice assuming a fevered pitch. "Now, listen to me, Susan, you can't."

"Yes, I can Jamey," she snapped, cutting his words short, "I can, and I will. I've already made up my mind and have talked with Max Bovino about it…"

"Max Bovino! That Godamned crooked bastard!" Jamey half-screamed into her ear. "Listen to me, baby, you don't know what you're getting into! That hood is poison. I won't let you get mixed up with him. You've got to listen to me, Susan, for God's sake… think of Nadine if you don't care anything about my feelings. What's she going to believe once she finds out her mother's dancing bare-assed in front of the whole Goddamned world…"

"Jamey… Jamey! Now, you hear me!" Susan said, interrupting him again, and with a determined voice. "I've told you that it's all settled. I start tomorrow night… and you let me worry about Nadine. I'm sorry if I've hurt you," she added, biting at her lower lip, a little tear popping into her eyes, "but my mind is set. Now… I'm going to hang up."

"Wait! Don't hang-up," he pleaded. "Wh-w hat about me, Susan… you and me? Are… are you telling me it's all over between us?"

"Y-Yes, Jamey… I think it's best," she said, trying to keep her voice steady as the tears spilled down her cheeks. "Really… it was silly in the first place. I'm old enough to almost be your mother…"

"Stop that stupid talk!" he barked thickly, and she knew that he, too, was crying. "You know I love you, and have long before Cal… died. Christ, Susan, don't do this to us… please. You love me… I know you do."

"G-Good bye, Jamey," she said, forcing the words from her lips. "We've got nothing more to say to each other."

"I'm not going to say goodbye, damnit!" he shouted at her. "Susan? Susan…?"

Slowly, she replaced the receiver in its cradle, then, quietly cried into her hands.

Nadine couldn't help the little feeling of elation she felt at her mother's words to Jamey. She hadn't meant to listen, but their apartment didn't offer that much privacy and she couldn't help overhearing as she sat at the kitchen table working on an essay for English she should have turned in a week before. In truth, she knew that she should be ashamed of herself, not from the listening aspects, but from the actual enjoyment of hearing her mom break it off with him, when she felt certain that they had strong feelings for one another… maybe, were even in love. Still, she couldn't help herself. Damnit, she wanted him, too!