Jason Eggers - Innocents for sale

This, unfortunately, she knew was true, but she was determined that she wouldn't let it be true. She would leave! She pondered this thought for the rest of the day; at least it helped to take her mind off Him. She went through a file of travel posters and catalogs that she had saved, saved in order to pick out an ideal spot for her honeymoon…Jim's and her honeymoon. The thought almost made her laugh!

She went over every one of them carefully, eliminating them for one reason or another, either they were too far away, she couldn't speak the language or she wouldn't have enough money. Finally she decided on the Bahamas, because this was still close enough to Miami, in case Jim did change his mind or wanted to come see her, and it would not be that expensive to get there. She would have enough money for about a week's stay and she was sure with the tourist season coming up that she would be able to find some sort of a job in a hotel, or as a cocktail waitress if necessary.

Before she changed her mind she quickly sealed the envelope and went to the corner to mail it. She walked slowly back to her apartment, the emptiness, the phone that she knew would not ring and began to make plans for her departure.

She went over her wardrobe and packed the things that she thought she would need. She was not packing for a permanent move because deep inside she was certain that Jim would call her and beg her to come back. He won't believe that I'm really leaving, but once I'm gone he may realize that I do mean everything to him that he once said, so she decided that she would travel light. She called the airlines and made a reservation on the late Sunday evening flight to Nassau, made herself a drink and turned on the television. This is a hell of a way to spend a Saturday night, but maybe tomorrow things will look brighter.

She woke early Sunday morning and tried to think of the things that she may have forgotten and once again, stared at the phone, hoping for that last reprieve, a call from HIM! How could he let her hang on so, it just wasn't fair, but then men were never fair, she mused! She sat around most of the afternoon, just biding the hours until it was time to go to the airport when the phone rang. She answered hesitantly, but her heart started pounding when she heard the voice on the other end say, "Hi baby, what're you doing?"

"Jim!" she gasped. "I really didn't expect you to call."

"Well, I wasn't going to, but I thought there was something that I should explain to you. I'm not sure that you're going to understand, but it has to be said," he answered.

"Well, I'm afraid it's too late now. I already know what you are going to say and I've done my crying over the week-end. You'll get a note from me in the mail tomorrow, because I've leaving tonight for Nassau and a vacation and then I'm going to try to get a job." Her words almost raced through the wires and her voice, although quivering sounded sane and almost callused.

"Well, I'm sorry it has to be like this, baby," he added, "but let me know where you are and maybe in a little while…" his voice drifted off into silence.

"Yes, sure, thanks for calling. Oh yes, you'll find my notes from Friday's dictation in my top drawer," she added, trying to sound as business-like as possible.

"Yeah, thanks. Well, good-bye, have a good rest," and he hung up.

At six o'clock that night she boarded the Caribbean Airlines flight for Nassau and although the plane was not carrying a full load a gentleman about fifty years old sat down beside her.

"Hope you don't mind some company. Miss," he said. "I hate to fly without having anyone to talk to, especially anyone as pretty as you."

She smiled at him and motioned for him to take the seat next to her. She really didn't feel like talking, but he seemed pleasant enough and maybe it would take her mind off Jim for even a little while.

The gentleman it turned out was a Mr. Lyle Ward, a dapper looking businessman from Miami who also had interests in the Islands, as he put it. He began talking immediately, asking questions about whether she was on vacation, what she did in Miami, etc., and she soon felt as though she were playing Twenty Questions.

The stewardess came around for their drink order and she ordered a double martini, hoping that it would dull some of the pangs that she had about leaving. She did not like the prospect of waking up tomorrow morning and not seeing Jim. He had been such an integral part of her life for the past year; it was hard for her to imagine what it would be like to be without him. She must put these thoughts out of her head and concentrate on the future) as there was no sense in retrospect at this point. Here she was bound for a new part of the world, a new life and perhaps a new love. Her mother had always told her that the best cure for an old love was a new one. She laughed to herself and thought, this was easy enough to say, but how practical was it!

She downed her martini in almost one gulp hoping that the warmth of the liquor would make her forget at least for the moment and tried to listen to what Mr. Ward had been saying.

"You look very upset, my dear," he said, trying to be fatherly.

"Please," she answered, begging with her eyes, "I'd rather not talk just now."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interfere, it's just that I have a daughter about your age," he lied, "and I'd hate to see her in such a frame of mind."

She smiled weakly at him and apologized, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, it's just that I'm- running away from something, and I’m afraid that I'm taking it right along with me. Can you understand that?"

He nodded and smiled affectionately at her. "Yes, certainly, I can, my dear. I have done it so often myself, I think we all do, it's a weakness of this human flesh, so don't let it upset you too much."

His words were of little comfort to her, she felt that nothing could or ever would make her forget her hurt, disappointment or her love for Jim. She wanted to cry, but it would be too embarrassing so she closed her eyes and tried to take a nap for the rest of the trip, but he was insistent upon engaging her time in conversation until she thought that she would scream. Oh well, she thought, he's trying to be nice, so I suppose that it won't kill me to be polite to the old geezer.

The drone of the engines made it difficult for her to hear everything that Mr. Ward was saying, so he leaned closer to her from time to time and she wondered if it were just her imagination or whether or not he was actually staring at the full, young curve of her bosom and the shapeliness of her legs. His looks began to make her feel uncomfortable, but she was certain that it was just her mind running away with her and that actually he was just a harmless old man trying to be comforting.

When the stewardess came by she ordered her second martini which went down much more smoothly than the first and the warmth of the liquor began to make her relax some more and she began to take interest in what the old gent next to her was saying. It appeared that he traveled to the Islands quite often and that he had many connections in Nassau as well as the outlying smaller islands in the Bahamas, especially in the clubs because he had something to do with bar supplies. She didn't understand exactly what his connection was for he wasn't very explicit, but he certainly was throwing some big names around, names that she had read in the Miami papers and she knew that they were very wealthy people among the cabaret set. He asked her if she were just going to be in the islands for a vacation or whether she was going to stay there for awhile.

"I'm sure that a change of pace and some new faces would be just the right medicine for you now," he added.

She smiled back at him and nodded. "I suppose you're right, I hadn't really thought of it. I had planned on staying for a week or so, or more correctly, until my money ran out, and then look for a job or go back to the mainland and face my problem."