Anonymous - Memoirs of a Voluptuary, or the Secret Life of an English Boarding School

“Anyhow, he stayed there with his nose up against the glass, pulling a long face and drawing his lips in tightly, biting himself almost. I still didn't take pity on him and kept on the job till I had finished, calling out to him as I shot the load.

“He waited until I came out and began to blow me up, but I told him not to be silly and he calmed down. Later that night, I think he would have taken me by force if I hadn't given in, he was so keen on it.”

It will be seen that in one way or another, I found plenty of diversion, and I felt very contented with my lot. I could not congratulate myself sufficiently on having the good fortune to make such staunch friends, and both work and play were so congenial that I was as happy as the day was long.

There could not be four better comrades than myself and my three chums and I do not think that we ever had a serious dispute or difference during the whole time that we were associated together.

I often now go over again in my mind the fun we four had, and, if it were possible to fulfill such a wish, I would be glad to live through this period once more. There is a freshness and vivacity about youth that never comes a second time once it is past; but fortunately, memory remains and carries the recollection with us to brighten our after years.

Charles Lamb says in his Asseys of Elia, that it is not good or advisable for older people to associate intimately with younger, but I, for one, refuse to bow to the weight of his authority. I have always found the greatest delight in youthful society, speaking as a man; and I can regard with some envy those fortunately placed people, such as schoolmasters, who pass their lives in the midst of a perennial atmosphere of youth, and in doing so, are able themselves to retain a youthfulness of spirit even in advancing age. But I must not stop thus to moralize; only Lamb's words occurred to me as I wrote, and I could not let them pass unreputed…

The end of school was approaching with quick steps, and as I heard all around me speaking with joyful anticipation of how they would spend their holiday weeks, a spirit of gloom, which I could not shake off, would settle on me.

Jimmy had written to Lord Harry Marmot, as he said he would do, but only to learn that his uncle was away in the East and would not return for some months. This disappointment was a severe one to me as I had settled my hopes on this visit, which Jimmy had painted in forecast in such glowing colors, and now I saw nothing before me but a wretched vegetation of some seven or eight weeks at home, which would be all the more repelling in its somber dullness, after my taste of the living found of life at school.

Rutherford, de Beaupre, Jimmy and all were in a better state than I was, and the more I strove to overcome my despondency, the greater it become.

Though I tried to conceal my feelings, the dimmed brightness of my temperament could not but be apparent and my companions did their best to console me. Bob extracted a confession from me, of course, about the cause, and undertook to try and get me invited to his house, but he was not going home for the first part of his vacation as his family was in Scotland, so even in this direction I could not look for immediate relief.

At last the fatal day came when I had to bid goodbye to my comrades, and I do not mind confessing that my eyes were rather watery as I found myself alone in the railway carriage on my way home.

The word had no affectionate associations for me, and called up no pleasurable feelings, as I reflected upon it. There would be no smiles to welcome me, and I might have been going into a weary exile rather than to my father's house, for all the joy I experienced at the prospect.

A servant awaited me at the station, but his was a new face and I only recognized him by his livery, so that even my first impression was not calculated to dispel in any way the dismal forebodings of my mind.

As I expected, my father's manner towards me displayed no change. Beyond a few curt words, he never spoke to me, and after the dinner hour, he retired to his library and left me to myself.

The housekeeper, Mrs. Dennison, however was more kind, and made me tell her of my doings since I was away. I spent the remainder of the evening in her sitting room, glad of someone to talk to, and she told me that Mr. Percival had written a letter to my father praising me very highly and stating how pleased he was in every way with my progress.

Mrs. Dennison was, of course, perfectly well aware of how my father regarded me, but she had far too much tact to touch upon this subject. She only wished to make things more comfortable for me, as far as she was able, and I shall ere remember her gratefully for this.

The first few days of the vacation passed in abject misery, but then my natural buoyancy of character began to assert itself, and I took more interest in my surroundings, visiting all the well known haunts of my childish days, swimming and rowing on the lake, or going for long rides.

It is due to my father's memory to say that he imposed no restrictions on me, and allowed all my wants to be provided for, although he held aloof altogether from my society.

The smart little bay cob, Crusoe, which Jenkins, the head coachman, had got leave to get for me twelve months before, was still in the stable looking sleek and well groomed, and I passed many hours on his back, cantering over the level grasslands of the park, or trotting down the leafy lanes accompanied by Saunders, my special favorite among the grooms.

I was very popular with the servants, the whole of whom inwardly sympathized with me, and blamed my father greatly for his unnatural disposition toward me.

I received several letters from Rutherford and though I was glad to hear from him and to know that he was enjoying himself so much at the place in Perthshire where they were said to be staying, the perusal only made me feel the more dissatisfied with my own lot.

The Duke and de Beaupre also wrote to me in the friendliest way possible, and I warmed to them more than ever for their kind remembrance, but all the time I was unhappy in my desolateness, and the days dragged on with leaden feet.

I think I should have sunk into the worst state of utter dejection but for one or two incidents which served to enliven me a little, and afforded food for interest.

One day as I was rambling aimlessly about the house, seeking something to occupy myself with, I turned my steps towards the domestics' quarters, which was the only part of the place where any signs of life were apparent. As I neared the servant's hall, I heard the sound of a scuffle followed by laughter.

Curious to know what was taking place, I walked noiselessly to the door, which was ajar, and through the crack on the hinge side, I could see plainly into the interior. The sight which met my eyes was one which I had scarcely looked for, but it was sufficiently interesting to make me remain, watching it.

Two of the housemaids had got hold of Joe, the boy who helped doing the light work below stairs. As I looked in on the group, I saw the two maids pick up Joe and lay him on the long table in the middle of the room. He struggled to get away, but they were too strong for him, and held him down in spite of his resistance. With a great deal of giggling, they opened his breeches and laid bare his cock.

Walter, the under-footman, was also present, looking on with much amusement. He laughed as the maids unbuttoned Joe's trousers, and telling them to wait a moment, he went to a shelf and fetched a pot of blacking. Dipping a little brush in this, he swabbed it all over Joe's member, while the two girls shrieked with merriment as they kept him fast during the time that this was being done.