Mike Phillips - The many tongues of love

I started shaking. There was something in my head. I don't know what it was, that was stopping me from having sex with any black guy but Honky. I was afraid of any black dick but his, that's why I had been going after white boys. And here was this cat, Rick, standing there across the room from me, taking off his pants. I could see his cock swinging between his dark legs and I started crying something terrible. I knew he was gonna make me suck him, and I knew I had to obey. But I wanted my baby-man and I couldn't help crying.

He walked across the room and stuck it right into my face. It wasn't even hard yet, but it sure was big. He brushed it against my cheeks and the tears made it wet. I loved it – loved its smell, its size, its blackness – but I felt guilty, cheating. It wasn't my Honky's black dick!

"Suck me, sister. Get it hard just like you did with Honky, you little slut bitch." He grabbed my hair and pulled it and then kicked me. He knelt down and pushed his loins into my face. I took his cock in my mouth. Looking up at his face terrified me.

I looked down and started sucking. It began to get hard, as it did, more and more of it out of my mouth – it was very long and slender. He shouted at me and pulled my hair until I stopped crying and really got into giving him a good blow job.

"I always heard you were the best," he said, obviously feeling that way himself. He started fucking my mouth and playing with my titties at the same time.

He tweaked my nipples till they hurt and told me to suck harder. I was doing the best I could, and then he told me he wanted my finger up his asshole. I found the opening and it slid up there easily – I thought if Honky were home he'd probably be wanting his dick up there instead of my finger and I shoved it in and out, finger-fucking him as I bounced on his long black cock.

I kept the rhythm going, pushing and pulling, and he was carrying on like a Goddamn dog in heat. I thought he was never gonna come! I sucked the end of his cock around the shaft, dragging it in and out shoving that finger up his hot asshole, playing with his hairy balls. He held my tits and played with them as he watched my head frantically bouncing in front of him.

"I'm gonna fill you up, Frieda, you suck-queen!" he shouted, starting to ram his cock in double-time. I didn't move my head any longer – I just let him fuck my face. His cock tasted good and sweet now, and my finger slid in and out of his dark asshole with ease.

"Fuck me harder, shove that finger up there, bitch," he said, which really turned me on. I let him smash that nigger cock down my throat again and again, and I matched each stroke with my finger and finally shoved two of them up there as far as I could get them. Tears came to my eyes again because I was afraid I wasn't going to last. I was on my last bit of energy and strength. I knew I needed a fix. And I also knew I needed his jism.

It happened slowly – almost painfully – and I could hardly believe it! I mean, fuck, man, this was incredible! He started yelling and changed to longer, more even strokes. Come started spilling outta his cock, but it came in long beautiful spurts which shook him somewhere inside. I kept my fingers up his asshole and felt every tightening of the muscles each time another spurt flowed into my hungry mouth. He came and came and came, and I took it all and gave him the orgasm of his life. Finally I had to pull away. I moved my mouth off his cock and pulled my fingers out of his ass at the same moment. And then I fell back to the floor.

"OK, stud man, you know where I can get some shit!"

He looked down at me, holding his softening cock in his hand. "Baby, you on that stuff?"

"No, I just need some to forget eating that little dick of yours," I said, mocking him. He slapped me across the mouth and suddenly I hated him more than ever.

"You ain't gonna find no shit around here, honey. This place is clean! Go get some from your stud boy in the pen!"

"Fuck off," I said, and turned over on the floor. He bent down and patted my ass and then I heard him putting on his pants, and in a minute he was gone. I lay there on the floor a long time and then I called this pusher I know and I went and got me some stuff.

Last night I went to the movie – you know, the cheap one for forty-nine cents – and I was sitting in the back row when these two teenager's come up the aisle. I had one leg out in the aisle and they could see my pussy open there under my skirt. They stopped and lingered on a bit, and I moved over one seat. I was so wrecked I didn't even know what the movie was about. In a minute they were sitting on either side of me, playing with my pussy. They both put their fingers up my dress at the same time and I was going crazy. Honey, my pussy was squirting all over their hands. Then one started sucking my left tit through my blouse and the other did the same, and I grabbed their hard cocks in their pants. Then I told them to take them out.

They obeyed and pulled their pants down to their ankles. They leaned back in their seats and I reached out and began playing with both their big cocks at the same time, moving the skin up and down. I couldn't stand it any more – I had to taste them. So I bent over and sucked on one, still holding onto the other, and then did the opposite. I took turns, sucking one till it was just ready to shoot, and then going to the other one. Those boys were going out of their ever – loving minds – and I'll bet anything they never had a black chick before.

Finally, I had to have it. I let the one on my right come first, and he muffled his groans as his body rose and fell as he pumped his young come into my mouth. The other guy was going nuts watching, and as soon as my lips hit his cock he came too, shooting semen all over my face and his pubic hair. I licked it all into my mouth and finally sat back and relaxed. They played with my pussy some more guys and hate till their cocks softened then they pulled up their pants. They asked if they could see me again and I told them to go home to their parents.

You see, I can't relate to anyone. I hate white guys and hate doing it to them, but I'm compelled to it. I don't know why. I'm afraid of black studs and I don't know how to come on with them. I think it's all this shit I'm shooting, but man, I gotta do something! You know? My Honky, he don't write anymore, and he's gonna be there a long-long time, they tell me, so what am I gonna do? I know I gotta get it together, but how?

All I know is I gotta have some more white dick. I gotta be the black chick kneeling in front of a white man, sucking on his thing, swallowing his load. I gotta feel powerless, gotta feel dominated. Till he comes. Then I'm on top, then I'm the fucking queen! Then I can tell the motherfucker to get lost when he says he wants to screw me! I'm a good suck, baby, but that's all I do. Only one man's gonna get my pussy, and he's in jail, and I'm gonna save it for him when he gets out.

"But I wish someone would help me, 'cause I'm worried…"

We find a clue to Frieda's illness when she tells us that she "enjoys living out fantasies…" The normal individual has learned, in his development, to repress and sublimate his component sexual instincts. These sexual desires give him the energy which he uses in the construction of civilization.

The pervert is the negative to this normal evolution; he cannot renounce his former pleasures, and in this way is unable to adjust to culture, no matter what ethnic group he or she is from. All cultures demand infantile renunciation in favor of the group and its preservation. This is a demand which Frieda is unable to meet.

Frieda is locked into a sterile and unsatisfying existence, utterly denying her femininity, her reproductive function, her genital pleasure outside of masturbation, and of most importance, the feeling of loving another human being.