Lydia Gray - Little boys and Laura

Laura was livid! She was furious, both with him and with herself, and she paced the living room like a tigress until her anger began to subside.

After her daily adventures in paradise with twelve-year-old Joey, what right did she have to be mad at Jack for his affair with seventeen-year-old Candy Delany? She wasn't mad at him about the affair. It was taking Candy on a trip, and doing it publicly, that infuriated her. That was a challenge to their marriage, an open challenge!

Laura was willing to tolerate the affair. After all, wasn't she having one of her own? But she wasn't flaunting it for the world to see, for God's sake! And she wasn't challenging their marriage with it! She was trying to be discreet and maintain at least some semblance of their marriage.

She stopped pacing long enough to find a cigarette and light it. Why did she have the feeling that Jack really didn't want to go through with the trip? Her intuition told her this and her intuition was seldom wrong! Why?

Laura, shook her head and sighed, then walked out and began cleaning up the kitchen. Something else her intuition told her was that Jack would not back down on this. He would take Candy on the trip. They would fuck themselves weary and then come home. There was nothing Laura could do about it.

She turned out the lights in the kitchen and stood in the living room for a while thinking. The ball was in her hands now. Jack had tossed it to her with this trip. Did she want to let this be the last straw that broke up their marriage?

For all of his thoughts, and as mad as she was at him right now, Laura knew that she still loved Jack. They had lived together twenty-one years now, and she couldn't imagine a life that didn't include Jack.

The thought crossed her mind that perhaps Jack was trying to force the issue, that maybe he wanted to marry Candy and this was his way of forcing her to ask him for a divorce.

No, she decided, Jack might be going through his second childhood, but be was smart enough to know that society would never accept him marrying a seventeen-year-old girl, a girl young enough to be his daughter. She could just picture Mike Delany's reaction to that. And even as angry as he had been, Jack wasn't all that sure of himself.

"Well, I'm sure as hell not going to make it easy for him!" Laura said aloud as she went into the bedroom and picked up Jack's pajamas and pillow and threw them out in the hall as she closed and locked the bedroom door.

The weekend was strained between them. Laura spoke to him, but only when absolutely necessary. Several times Jack was on the verge of pleading with her to be reasonable, but somehow couldn't bring himself to do it.

Laura did not pack for him, as she usually did when he went on a business trip. She didn't offer to drive him to the airport, or even say goodbye when he left late Sunday afternoon.

She was certain that he knew that this was a true crisis in their marriage, but it was obvious he had no intention of dealing with it until his return. That was fine with Laura. She wanted time to think everything out herself.

Early Monday morning at the facility, Laura received a blow. Joey Lind had been placed in a foster home! His new foster parents were coming to pick him up at ten o'clock. Laura managed to have only ten minutes alone with the boy before he left. He was as crushed as she was, but he accepted the situation.

"One thing, Joey," Laura said, fighting back tears, "the… well, the things we did together – you must never tell anyone…"

"I know," the boy said softly.

"And you mustn't… well, don't expect the same things from your new foster mother."

"I'm going to miss you terribly, Laura," Joey said.

"I know, dear, and I'm going to miss you," Laura said, now regaining control of herself. "This had to happen sooner or later, I suppose. And you have your whole life in front of you, Joey. I want you to study and make something out of yourself. You're a fine young man and you can have a great future…"

The sound of Carl Mersh's footsteps coming down the hall brought their conversation to an end and they pressed hands in a final farewell.

Laura's heart wasn't in it when she rounded up the three young boys and an eleven-year-old girl to take home for a scheduled swimming class. Joey's placement had depressed her terribly. She had been counting on exciting hours with Joey to help take her mind off of her own problems.

By the time she had the children in her car, Laura knew that she would have her hands full today. Her class was made up of ten-year-old Donnie Mason, who was now off report and still sullen, Pete Carlson, a twelve-year-old boy who had just arrived at the facility, eleven-year-old Cindy Murphy, a red-haired pixie with a round, butterball figure who giggled constantly, and Matt Harper.

Matt Harper was eleven years old and as black as the ace of spades. Laura had never worked with black children before, but Carl Mersh asked her to include Matt in at least one of her home sessions. Matt had been placed in a black foster home a month ago and returned to the facility last week.

McGrudder explained to Laura that the child had a white fixation. He did not like other blacks and would not associate with them if he could avoid it. When asked why he wanted to associate with whites and even be placed in a white home, Matt responded, "Because that's where it's at! The whites have it all locked up."

The director asked Laura to observe Matt with the white children and in her white home and report back if she felt a placement in a white home might work.

When they arrived at Laura's house, the children were well behaved. Donnie Mason seemed to lose some of his sullenness, but remained a little withdrawn from the group. Laura decided he was basically a shy, reserved boy. He was of average height for his age and wore glasses. His face was covered with freckles and his body was round and pleasingly plump. Donnie seemed to get along well with Matt and Pete, but he made it plain that he didn't care much for Cindy Murphy.

Laura felt sorry for Cindy. The young girl was so round and plump she had all of the sex appeal of a beach ball. Her hair was straggly and her teeth were crooked. Cindy was obviously in that awkward, pre-puberty stage that all young girls suffer through. She had a high, somewhat shrill voice and her incessant giggling grated on everybody's nerves.

Cindy was also quite obviously interested in boys and desperate because they wouldn't have anything to do with her.

Pete Carlson was so average he made Laura smile. He was short and stocky, but very solid. His face was pleasant and he wore an open expression that was inviting.

Matt Harper surprised Laura. If she hadn't known that he was eleven, she would have guessed him to be fourteen or fifteen. He was tall and lanky, yet his every movement was graceful. His skin was the color of polished ebony and his pink lips and sparkling white teeth gleamed like beacons on his face. The whites of his eyes were like two flashlights blinking in an indigo night and his black, kinky hair was like a short mop pasted on his head.

Laura noted immediately that Matt was quiet and unassuming in her home. She saw him watching the other children carefully, as if he was studying what they did so that he wouldn't make a mistake. Even though he said very little in the living room, he gave Laura the impression of one being very eager to please.

After they had relaxed in the living room and chatted for a while, Laura told the children to change into their swim suits. She chose a conservative, one-piece suit for herself and changed in the bedroom.

The swimming class was a frantic session for Laura. Peter Carlson swore that he knew how to swim and promptly almost drowned. Donnie Mason tried to hide a deadly fear of water and became a brick the moment he was immersed. Cindy Murphy was a near disaster. She had absolutely no fear of the water, but her ability to learn anything Laura tried to show her was nil. The plump young girl also displayed an amazing lack of common sense. She continually jumped into water that was above her head and thrashed about until Laura would rescue her.