Dorsai - Full Circle

A few more minutes went by before Evelyn suddenly perked up and exclaimed "Love! What you're trying to teach us is love!"

That got the light bulb lit for the rest of them, too – it was Sheri who asked "But you said we were right when we told you that we thought you were doing this because you cared! Caring and loving aren't the same thing, are they?"

Kelly looked at me, silently telling me that she wanted me to explain it to them.

"Sheri, wouldn't I be right if I said that you love your sister?"

"Of course."

"And because you love her, you'd do anything you could to help her, wouldn't you?"

"Sure I would!"

"Now, would you say that Evelyn is your friend?"

"She is."

"If Evelyn needed your help with something, wouldn't you do it, if you could?"

"Yeah."

"But because she's only your friend, and not your sister, you wouldn't do anything to help her, would you?"

Sheri admitted "No.", with an apologetic look to Evelyn, who didn't seem to mind the answer.

"So we can say that you definitely love your sister, because you would do anything to help her?"

"Sure, I said that, already."

"But because you wouldn't do anything to help Evelyn, we can probably say that you only care for her – because you would help her, if you could, just not as much."

"Yeah, that sounds okay."

"Just to make sure, then – what you feel for your sister is definitely love."

She nodded, and I went on "And you agree that what you feel for Evelyn is definitely caring."

Another nod, and I asked "Then if being willing to do anything for your sister means that you definitely love her, couldn't we also say that because you're willing to help Evelyn at least a little bit, that what you feel for her is love, too – at least a little bit? That how much you're willing to help someone is an indication of how much you care for them – or love them?"

I glanced over and saw Kelly grinning at me, as the five of them sat there thinking about what I'd just asked.

Sheri was the first to get it, quickly followed by her sister. Evelyn was next, followed by Claire, and right after her, Bonita. I could see their faces lighting up as they started to put the pieces together.

Over the next little while, all of them had a variety of questions for us – usually wanting to know how what we'd told them applied in this situation, or that. A few times, it was also necessary for one or the other of us to confirm (and a couple of times, deny) a connection or supposition they had about different things.

Kelly and I just sat there, pleased and amused to watch as each of them made the connections to all the things that Kelly had taught them in school, and that both of us had shown and told them in our home. After a while, all five of them had finished their thoughts, and were looking at us – eagerly waiting to find out what was next.

They all turned to look at her when Kelly told them "Yes, we're doing this because we care for you; which is the same as saying that we love you – at least a little bit. Now, if you want to keep learning what we have to teach you – which is love – then this is where things are going to start getting hard for you. But if you can do it, I can promise you that for each and every one of you, there will come a time and a place where you'll suddenly realize that what we're teaching you isn't hard – its actually pretty darn easy, in fact. And when that happens, you'll also understand why it had to be hard before it could be easy."

Crissy asked "What do we have to do, if we want to keep learning from you?"

"Between where you are now, and where you'll be when you're finished, there are some things that you'll have to learn – kind of like you had to learn to add and subtract and multiply and divide before you knew enough to learn algebra."

"Such as?" Sheri asked.

"Such as learning to be absolutely honest – not just with us, but more importantly, with yourself. Such as learning to let us love you, so you can love us – and no, I don't mean that the other way around. Such as learning to take full responsibility, by yourself, for what you think and do or don't do." Kelly answered.

They turned to look at me, as if for confirmation, and I told them "You might, or even probably, think that you do those things already. But you don't – not the way Kelly and I and the other girls do. I'm not saying that the way you do those things now is wrong; what I'm saying is that you aren't doing them as right as you could; and that's what you'll be learning at first, is how to do them better."

Kelly told them "You might not think that Dan would have anything to teach you, with him being a guy and you being girls. But I, and my friends, learned from him – what he, and I, and even they, have to teach you isn't about being a guy or a girl – it's about being a person. I and the others, we had it pretty easy – we could learn from Dan. It's DAN that had to learn all this in the first place, all by himself. And he's been doing it, for a lot longer than any of the rest of us; I can promise you that as much as I and my friends know about it, Dan knows more. When any of the rest of us have a problem or a question, it's Dan that we go to for help; and I'll bet that you'll find out that he's the best one to go to, too."

"The first time you were here" I said to them, "I said that we all had to trust each other – that Kelly and I weren't going to say anything to anyone else, and that we were going to trust you to do the same. I think you've kept that trust, just as Kelly and I have. I think all of you know that being able to trust each other is even more important now than it was before. Even though you know that nothing happened, and you said you're glad you got the chance, do you really think that any of your parents would really understand about last week when you got to learn about a guy's 'parts'?"

All of them smiled, and shook their heads before Bonita said "No. I'm glad I had the chance to learn about that. But if my father or mother ever learned about it, I expect that I would be grounded for the rest of my life – if I was lucky!" making the others laugh, and voice their agreement.

Kelly told them "Just so you know, if you were to tell the wrong person about what has happened here – about you being nude, and touching Dan the way you have – it is entirely possible that he – and I! – could get into trouble. Legal trouble – as in one or both of us ending up in jail or prison. If we were really lucky, all that would happen is that we would lose our house and everything we own, and our children would be taken away from us and given to someone else."

"Really?" Sheri asked, in disbelief.

"Really", Kelly assured her, before adding "So as you can tell, as much as you think you've had to trust me and Dan, it has really been us trusting you more. And if you keep coming here to learn from us, we're going to have to keep trusting you."

From the expressions on their faces, I could tell that all five of them took the matter as seriously as they should.

"Kelly and I have both trusted you, and all of you have shown us that you deserve that trust. The only reason that Kelly told you what risks we're taking, is so that you know and understand just how much we're willing to do to help you learn what we have to teach. That's why we're asking you to think about what you've learned so far, and decide for yourselves if you really want to keep going. If you're not sure that you can, or want, to keep what happens here private and just among us, then it's better if you don't come back. But if you do, then both of us would be delighted to see you. Kelly has already given you some idea of what you'll learn if you come back; we're going to figure that you're willing to learn those things if we see you again." I told them.