Anonymous - Pauline

My dear friend:

It gives me great pleasure to inform you that I have received your letter and am happy to know that you sometimes think of me. I am delighted, too, to know you are enjoying such splendid health. Really, my dear, I thought you had quite forgotten me after all these years, but I see you haven't, and I am glad. Yes, I am very happy and contented, and I have retired from professional life. I intend to devote the remainder of my days to travel and… well, you know my great weakness. It is strange that you should ask me to write my memoirs just when I was about to write them for myself, and now I believe I shall do so. And I hope you will enjoy reading these pages as fully as I have enjoyed them in the flesh. Well, where shall I start? At the very beginning, I suppose-all careers have a beginning somewhere, you know.

Up to and including my eighteenth birthday there is precious little to tell, so I shall skip over that; it has nothing to do with this tale and would-I dare-say-be rather tiresome.

I knew nothing of love, except, of course, the love one had from a parent, and the pets I had. So I can think of no one thing which might be called responsible for the strange and delightful life I have led. To sum up the whole thing, I guess I was born for love! How could it be otherwise when it has been the one ruling passion of my whole life? Love! Yes, that was it, and believe me, I have had my share.

There are very few things concerning my early life which I think would be of interest here. I was an only child. We lived in a pretty little home, and in my childish way I was happy. I never had to attend school like the other children. Father provided a private tutor, and an ugly old witch she was, too. She was very strict with me, and I can well remember how she used to scold me when I romped about the gardens with my pet poodle, telling me it was vulgar to show one's legs; nor could I visit with the other children who passed our home.

It was this very strictness as much as anything else, perhaps, which led my active mind into other and stranger channels.

I guess she was what we call today a “prude” and I believe she disliked herself. So you see, I was kept in close confinement, as it were.

But, with all her faults, she was a very learned person, and I have many, many times profited by her teachings.

Mother was very kind to me, and I always had the things I craved. Father earned a wonderful living for us; he was a skilled mechanic, inventing many optical items used to this day, and for which he received a great deal of money.

When I received a scolding from my teacher, I would run to Mother for soothing and kindness, to say nothing of her kisses. But she had implicit faith in my tutor, telling me I must mind her as she knew best.

I must tell you of a little incident concerning this strange woman. At the far end of the gardens there was a tiny lake, and one day I asked permission to wade in it. But my tutor was horrified! The very idea was scandalous!

I suppose I am no different than anyone else; had she allowed me this simple pleasure, I am sure nothing would have come of it, and what happened as a result of what I did wouldn't have happened at all. Having been deprived of the pleasure, I promised myself that, unknown to her, I would do that very thing!

The next afternoon I watched for my chance. On the pretense of taking my poodle for a walk, I slipped away and ran to the pond. It seems to be a human trait to lust for that which is denied us. Whether that is true or not I do not know; I do know, however, that I yearned for that pond as I had never yearned for anything else in my life.

The poodle, nearing the pond and thinking it quite natural, ran into the water. Standing there watching him splash about made me all the more eager to partake of this pleasure, and the more I watched him the greater the longing became.

It's a strange thing that such a simple thing can lay the groundwork for one's whole career, isn't it? Yet, such was the case. Had I been allowed to wade at the time I asked my tutor, everything would have passed as before; now, standing there knowing I was contemplating something forbidden made the desire all the more pronounced!

I had never been in the water, and as I stood there contemplating the pleasure my poodle was having, I was taken with the idea that I, too, would like to splash about in it.

Making sure no one was about, I stripped off my slippers and stockings, and holding up my already short skirt, I waded in. The water felt delightful on my feet and ankles, and for minutes I stood there. I wanted to go in deeper, but, as I have said, I had never been in such a large body of water and the thought frightened me.

The next day, however, I tried it again, and this time I mustered my courage and went in to the bend of my knees. It was wonderful! I did this twice more before I was detected by my ugly tutor who ran to Mother with the startling news that I had willfully disobeyed her!

Again I cried, and again Mother consoled me and made me promise to always obey my tutor.

A week passed, but my desire to wade was as strong as before. It was Sunday. Tutor had left for the day. Father, too, was away, and Mother was busy about the house. Knowing I would never have such a favorable chance again, I raced for the pond! Naturally, I had gotten over being timid, and this time I was quite daring!

Knee-deep no longer interested me. Besides, there was something delightfully naughty about the feel of the water on my legs! What it was I didn't know, of course; I knew only that it was the most wonderful sensation I had ever felt, and the deeper I went, the greater the sensation!

I went deeper and deeper. Then, to my dismay, I found the lace at the bottom of my drawers was stiff and soaked, and that the legs were wet halfway up! I was frightened! I knew Mother would be furious if she discovered this, but my desire for the feel of the water was overwhelming. I hurried up the bank and removed the offensive garments, and after spreading them to dry, I hurried back into the pond! Free, now, of the troublesome things, I waded out, and this time the water lapped at my cunt! Oh, what a thrill it was!

I mention all this to show you that in my innocence I knew nothing of myself. I knew nothing of the thrills one might enjoy through the medium of one's cunt. So, of course, I didn't know that I was experiencing that first spark of young womanhood which comes to all girls. All that I was interested in was the fact that it felt so nice I thought I was in heaven!

The heavenly feeling seemed to center deep between my thighs. Wondering what it could be, I put my fingers there, only to find the strange sensations increased, for my fingers had come in contact with that tiny sentinel which guards the abode of bliss and which, until that moment, I never knew I had.

It was, as you may have guessed, my clitoris, that little jewel of an organ that was to play such an important part in my life in the years to follow!

Do you remember, my dear, how you used to love lying with your face between my legs? And how you delighted in kissing and tenderly sucking that tiny red tongue, as you called it? Well, it was that same tiny morsel I found that day as I stood hip-deep in our little pond. So, do you realize now what an important part my ugly tutor played in my later life?

I was frightened as well as happy, and as I dried my dress before returning home, I promised myself many more wading parties in that little pond. You see, I thought the water was responsible for those strange and heavenly sensations I had experienced.

And that, dear friend, was the very beginning of a life of utmost pleasure.

Then came a change in my life, and I found myself temporarily deprived of the pleasure of wading. It's just as well-I might have become an addict to that dreadful practice known as masturbation!