Anonymous - The loves of a musical student

As I intend only speaking of those little adventures in which I have been engaged with the fair sex, it would be superfluous were I to enter into a tedious detail of my parentage, schoolboy pranks, or other tittletattle foreign to my present subject; I shall therefore commence with an incident well calculated to prove how absolutely impossible it is ever to erase a first impression from the youthful mind. The circumstance I allude to occurred when I was in the seventh or eighth year of my age; my parents had just finished breakfast, the table was not yet clear of the equipage, and I was standing before the first enjoying the luxury of a plate of well-buttered toast-a treat my father would not indulge me with but on extraordinary occasions. I remember my father was more than usually jocular that morning, and I was ordered by him not to move from the spot where I stood until he called me.

Now follows a striking instance of how very cautious parents ought to be before they indulge in certain pleasant freaks in the presence of children.

I had not stood many minutes in the position I have already mentioned, before the quick sound of half-suppressed emotion, which proceeded from the farthest end of the apartment, caused me to turn my head to the direction from whence they proceeded; the glance was but momentary-my eyes instantly withdrew themselves from the object that met their view, while a burning blush ran like lightning through every tiny vein; a feeling, for which I could not then account, seemed to overpower me. I stood trembling-wishing, yet not daring, to take another glance; yet never, never shall I forget what I that morning saw.

At length my mother caught my stealthy sidelong glance, and quickly rising, she hastily advanced towards me and started me off to school, at the same time chiding my father for his stupid folly, as she called it.

But the object I had contemplated still haunted my imagination, and I was constantly contrasting the trifling affairs I saw at school with the picture I had seen on so grand a scale.

But nothing could exceed the pride I felt when, as I waded through the mud-stained pool, I saw that I excelled some older boys in certain points. And now the day-dreams of a youthful imagination filled my soul with undefined sensations; and often when the glare of broad day disturbed my fairy visions of delight, I have almost cried with sheer vexation.

Behold me now eleven years of age, and Miss Venetia J- but just turned ten, yet taller than myself, with features beautifully moulded, and light and flowing locks in graceful curls adorning her lovely shoulders; her parents inhabited the next house to that occupied by mine, and very frequently would they chat together. I never failed on these occasions of seizing every opportunity to make myself agreeable to the charming Venetia, and was tolerably successful. Often have I climbed the garden wall to have a game of romps with her I really thought my soul adored. But still my curiosity remained ungratified. I longed, yet feared, I should offend by asking such a favour; until one day, having been taken by some of my father's visitors to Bartholomew Fair, the scenes I there beheld so delighted my boyish fancy, that the next morning, having coaxed my fond mother to let me have some bed-furniture, I erected in the garden what appeared to me a most magnificent theatre, when I must needs invite my most intimate schoolfellow to partake my pleasure. Master William had likewise prevailed on a young girl, the daughter of a neighbour, to accompany him, and after performing a variety of gambols, similar to those exhibited by the showman the preceding evening, Master Billy, who, by the bye, knew much more of the nature of fairs than I did, exclaimed, "All in to begin!" We accordingly crept under cover, and Billy began to kiss and tousle his partner most heartily, she being not able to resist his ardour in consequence of her being overcome by convulsive peals of laughter.

For my part, I was so completely lost in admiration of his conduct, that I did not perceive the absence of Venetia, but no sooner was I convinced of her departure, than I immediately went in pursuit of her, and fortunately perceived her at the moment she was entering a little temple at the extreme end of the garden. I paused for a moment, uncertain how to act, till calling to mind how faintly Billy's lass had resented his freedom I resolved to be equally bold; thus determined, I stole gently to the door, which she had not taken the precaution to fasten, and entering, seized her in my arms and despite of her struggling nearly stifled her with kisses; till at length I had-satisfied my curiosity.

Miss Venetia was, or affected to be, exceedingly indignant at the freedom with which I had treated her, and forcing herself from my embrace, left me with these words: "I am ashamed of you; what do you think my mamma will say when she hears how impudent you have been?" But, as mamma never lectured me on the subject, and I was allowed the same freedoms more than once afterwards, I had every reason to believe that the sweet girl was of too forgiving a temper to bring trouble upon one whose only fault was a desire to improve himself in the mysteries of nature, with an earnest intention of imparting his knowledge to her on the earliest convenient opportunity.

To what lengths I might have been carried had I continued near the dear girl I will not presume to say; but my father dying about this time, and my mother finding it necessary to retire from the cares of housekeeping, I had no further opportunities of pursuing my natural studies with my charming Venetia, whom I left with feelings of regret.

Nature having favoured me with what my friends were pleased to call a very melodious voice, which developed itself at an early age, and being from my infancy extravagantly fond of music, capable even when four years old of singing several songs with some little taste, my mother was in consequence continually importuned by her acquaintances to attend all their small parties, and being, like most indulgent parents, proud of the praises lavished on her darling child, she seldom refused those invitations.

This of course instilled into my mind an early love of gaiety and company, which was the means of bringing me the acquaintance of several blooming girls, with whom I would very willingly have pursued those studies from nature which I had so pleasantly commenced with the fair Venetia; but the fear of not being equally successful deterred me.

About two years after our separation, I was introduced to Mr. H-ll upon whom, as he was partial to my singing, scarcely a day passed in which I did not call. But neither Mr. nor Mrs. H. was the magnet that attracted me thither. I had more than once observed, listening at the door whilst I was singing, a tall, good-looking girl, about fourteen years of age, who lived as servant with Mrs. H. On the occasions alluded to, she always appeared particularly delighted, a consciousness of which made me soon prefer the kitchen to the parlour.

Calling one evening when Mr. and Mrs. H. were engaged on business, I followed the charming girl downstairs, where I requested permission to wait till they were at liberty.

I saw, or fancied I saw, evident marks of satisfaction in the face of young Mary, as she very readily handed me a chair. Observing a book lying upon the table I took it up and found that it was the History of a Magdalen; and sup posing she had been reading it, I begged she would not suffer me to disturb her, and at the same time presenting her the book, I drew my chair closer, and said, "As I am myself very fond of reading, I will, with your permission, look over the pages with you."