Anonymous - Caroline

“'Yes,' he replied, then clattered down. The front door slammed, and he was gone. I sensed it not to be a trick and stirred myself. Such a sense of freedom came over me as I could not believe. I sat up. Carrie made no attempt to stop me, but in my doing so she cast her face between my naked breasts and begged forgiveness once again.

“'I am accursed-I am accursed!' she cried once more. Upon that, and to my own great astonishment, I passed my arms around her, for her grief was truly real. Her tears trickled down between my breasts; I felt them all around her mouth. We rocked together and we moaned like sisters who are both in sin. I truly thought to know not who I was, nor who she was. That she was no mere servant girl had been plain to me from the moment that her voice had changed. Her tone was one of real gentility. And then her story tumbled out, and often enough in broken words I could not catch. I will truncate it for you. Charlie was her cousin-a poor relative. They had been brought up together in what at first was a house of great piety. Then, at the age of fifteen as Carrie then was, her father had remarried. Unbeknown to him, the girl's stepmother took her in hand. She was, in brief, put to her trials by the stepmother's brother, the woman encouraging and witnessing all. Charlie, too, saw some of what occurred and felt a shame for it. Carrie's father never knew, and of course she could not bring herself to tell him of what passed. The stepmother, being then of my age, Carrie vowed revenge, but not being able to exert it on her tormentor who, in any case, had Carrie's father in her spell, she left the parental abode with Charlie, pretended to a servant's role with him and sought out lonely ladies such as I, just to revenge herself.

“You felt this to be true?” I asked.

“My dear, it was not a matter of belief but certainty, for her confession was repeated several times in the hours that passed.”

“It was she who should have consoled you more. I would have sent for the village constable,” said Adelaide with set teeth, though I confess I did not quite believe her.

“She cast herself upon my mercy, dear. What could I do? I would have had to appear before the magistrates. The whole story would have had to have been told. How could I bring myself to face up to such things?”

“Indeed. They might have said then that you lied, and caused confusion thus,” I gallantly averred, but even so uneasiness had taken hold of me. I asked her what happened to the pair.

“Carrie assured me in most broken fashion that such would never re-occur, for I had fear for other ladies in the shire. I pondered this. She had reverted to subservience, although her true station is much as my own-in origin, that is. Charlie waited for her, she said. They would go abroad and not be heard of again. An allowance from her father saw to her main needs. I would not have it so. Perhaps in the last event I feared she would fall into her old ways. I told her, upon threats of advising the constabulary, that she must remain with me under my care and that Charlie must be gone.”

“You do not mean that she is with you still?” asked Caroline.

“What else was I to do? I could let the pair upon the world again, or guard them from their sins. I chose the former course. She is now as a companion to me. I permitted her a last farewell with Charlie and then saw myself to his departure from the inn where he had waited for her. His own penitence was complete. Indeed, he fell at my feet and begged forgiveness-even kissed my boots.”

“Strange indeed,” said I. Therewith, to the surprise of Caroline, I excused myself. She hastened after me and closed the door.

“What are you at?” she asked. I believe there was something in both our minds then. I could not speak of it, and nor could she.

“I shall be gone but an hour,” I replied. In truth, I departed with a certain queasiness, but something ticked in me as does a clock when known events are to occur. I took myself, in short, and without delay to Miriam's.

Upon arriving, I scanned first the blank windows. How often does a house appear empty and silent, and yet is habitated! Upon my knocking a quietness ensued, and then the door was opened by a maid of beanpole shape.

I introduced myself. Her Mistress, I said, was a guest at my abode and had asked me to fetch something for her from her room. Being then regarded doubtfully-as indeed I expected to be-I presented more material credentials in the form of a carte de visite, the which caused her to step aside and permit me to enter, uttering apologies as she did.

“You are wise to be cautious,” said I. Every facet of the house held interest for me. The door to the drawing room lay open, the stairs yawned. It was down these selfsame steps that Miriam had been led, I thought. I envisaged her naked and did not mind the thought at all.

“Was there something special you came to get, sir?” I was asked.

“A trinket, that is all. It is on her dressing table, so she said.”

I had a letch to see the bedroom where Miriam had first been fucked and began to take my way upstairs. The house was not as I envisaged it at all, but such a feeling is common and I threw it off. The main bedroom was ornate: a huge four-poster bed stood centred to the outer wall. Upon the dressing table a pair of scissors lay. The maid had hovered on the stairs below. I called her up. Within her sight I picked them up and laid them down again.

“Those were not what you wanted, sir?”

“Oh, Lord, no. Fearsome things, are they not?”

“Mistress uses them sir, a lot for cutting out.”

“But nothing else?” I laughed. Her eyes looked blank. “Carrie is not then here today,” I said as casually as one might and picked a flask of perfume up as if to say it was the thing I sought.

“I'm Carrie, sir.”

“Ah. Then I beg your pardon. With growing age one gets confused sometimes. Have you been here long, Carrie?”

“In the Mistress's service, sir, for nigh on three years now.”

“I see. And long you will remain, I trust. What a lovely bed that is,” I ventured, though I knew the truth by then.

“Its her favourite of the house, sir, that. She said to me once that I could lie on it and try it, but I wouldn't dare, of course.”

“You were not tempted?” I spoke lightly, seemed distracted did not gaze at her. I did not wish to scare the girl who patently was as dried-out as a husk.

“Not my place to do that, sir, oh no.”

“There, my dear, a sovereign for your honesty. One does not come across the like of such good girls too often.”

I pressed it into her hand. She gazed at it in great surprise. I had a feeling that she had scarce held one before. We passed beyond. She closed the bedroom door behind us. We descended. I gazed around as though in great appreciation of the place.

“You must have much to do here, Carrie, by yourself. Did Miss Miriam not once have a manservant also? Charlie was his name, I do believe.”

“Charlie? I ain't never heard of him, sir, no, I ain't. Not in my years, I ain't.”

“Tut-tut. My memory is all to pieces. I was thinking of another house.”

“Yes, sir, I know it happens. I have done the same myself. But thank you for the money, sir. There weren't no need.”

“Rewards should be accorded, Carrie. Well”-goodbye.”

“Goodbye.” Back into her nothingness she went. The door closed like a barrier upon the world. The windows took on their blankness once again.

“Miriam is resting,” Caroline advised me as soon as I entered the house.

I have heard it said that the people of Japan communicate as much by facial expression as they do by words. If so, they are not alone in that. When two are close, such as Caroline and I, the words are but the surface things; the undertow is in the eyes. The current is felt and tested- known.