Li Yu - The Carnal Prayer Mat

"It looks as if no one will meet your standards," remarked one of the matchmakers, "except Master Iron Door's daughter, Jade Scent. The problem with her is that her father is an ultraconservative who will never let anyone view his daughter, while you would insist upon it. So I'm afraid that's hopeless, too."

"Why is he called Master Iron Door?" asked Vesperus. "And how do you know she is beautiful? And if she is so beautiful, why won't he let anyone see her?"

"He's the most celebrated old schoolman in the county, and terribly eccentric. He owns lots of property but holds himself quite aloof-never had a single friend his whole life. He just sits at home immersed in his studies and won't open his door to visitors, no matter who they are. There was one very distinguished visitor who was a great admirer of his and came a long way to see him, but despite knocking at the door for ages, he got no response, let alone a welcome. All he could do was write a poem on the door, part of which ran,

I know that righteous eremites have huts of matting made,

But I never thought that you, sir, would have an iron door.

When the old man noticed these lines, he said, 'Iron Door-I find that quite original, and rather apt too.' And then and there he adopted it as his sobriquet and called himself Master Iron Door.

"He has no son, just a daughter who is as fair as jade and as pretty as a flower. Matchmakers like me see thousands of girls, but none of us has ever seen one to surpass her. What's more, she's studied a lot, with her father as tutor, and she can pick up her brush and write you any kind of poem you please. But the door to her chambers is always securely guarded. She never goes to temples to burn incense or out into the street to watch processions. In fact in all her fifteen years she has never once shown her face in public. As for women visitors such as nuns and the like, it goes without saying-they couldn't get inside the house even if they grew wings.

"But on one occasion the old man caught sight of me from his doorway as I was going by and stopped me. 'Are you a matchmaker, by any chance?' he asked me. 'Yes,' I replied. Then he took me inside and pointed to Jade Scent: 'This is my daughter. I want to find a presentable son-in-law who will be a son to me and look after me in my old age. You might give some thought to finding me one.' I mentioned your name, and he made the comment: 'I've heard of his literary reputation, but I wonder what his morals are like?' 'He has a wise head on young shoulders,' I replied, 'and his conduct is irreproachable. The only problem is that he insists on viewing the girl himself before agreeing to marriage. Since your daughter is so beautiful, naturally she'll appeal to him. I wonder if you'd be willing to let him visit? When he heard me say that, his face darkened. 'Preposterous!' he said. 'Only the lean ponies they raise in Yangzhou will let you view them. [30]No respectable girl would ever consent to meet with a man!' Faced with this reaction, I could hardly pursue the matter, so I came away. But that is how I know the marriage is hopeless."

Vesperus pondered: I'm quite alone in the world, without parents or brothers, and when I do marry, I'll have no one to supervise my wife. I can't play the custodian myself all the time, because there are bound to be occasions when I'm away from home. In view of the old man's disposition, I can well imagine what his domestic regime will be like. If I were to marry into his family, I'd have no need to keep watch-his daughter would be well and truly supervised. In fact it wouldn't matter if I was never at home. What a piece of luck! The only thing that worries me is having to do without a viewing. How can I trust anything a matchmaker says?

"The match sounds very suitable indeed," he said. "But I do beg you to find some way for me to get a glimpse of her. So long as you're essentially right about her, I'll be satisfied."

"Absolutely impossible!" said the matchmaker. "If you don't believe what I say, you'd better consult the spirits and take their advice as to what to do. You certainly won't get through that iron door of his."

" Good idea ! I have a friend who summons immortals to settle questions like this, and the answers are very reliable. I'll get him to help, and then I'll be in touch with you again."

The matchmaker assented and left.

Next day, after fasting and purification, Vesperus invited the friend to his house, where he burned incense and kowtowed and then whispered the following prayer:

"Thy disciple wishes to ask about Master Iron Door's daughter, Jade Scent. I have heard that she is supremely beautiful and I would like to marry her. But my information is only hearsay, since I have not set eyes on her myself, and that is why I am asking thy bidding, O Great Immortal. What concerns me is not her virtue, nor her accomplishments. And as to whether she will bear any sons, that is a matter of destiny, anyway, and I don't need to know it in advance. All I'm asking about is her beauty. If she is really as beautiful as they say, I'll marry her, but if she falls even slightly short, I'll decline. I humbly beseech thee, Great Immortal, to be clear and straightforward in thy guidance. Do not, I pray thee, leave me with some vague message that I cannot understand."

His prayer over, he made four obeisances, then rose, and grasping the crosspiece, let the stick trace its message. Sure enough, it traced out a poem:

— Poem Number One

"So her looks are fine," thought Vesperus. "However, the last two lines clearly state that her beauty will lead to adultery. Surely the girl can't have lost her maidenhead already? But since the poem has Number One at the end, there must be more to come. Let's see what the stick writes next."

After pausing a moment, the stick proceeded to write another poem:

— Poem Number Two (Inscribed by The One Who Returned to the Way)

Vesperus knew that The One Who Returned to, the Way was the sobriquet of Lü Dongbin, and he was thrilled. [31]That worthy is an expert on wine and women if ever there was one, he thought. If he approves of her, she must be good. What's more, the second poem removes any doubts I may have had about her chastity. Clearly the girl's still intact and he just wants me to keep a close eye on her. But with such a stickler of a father-in-law to supervise her, I shouldn't have any trouble in that regard. The last two lines-"If he shuts his door and lets no green flies in, How can any smut on his jade alight?" — clearly state that nobody can penetrate his iron door. I needn't hesitate a moment longer.

Facing the heavens, he bowed in gratitude to Lü Dongbin, then told a servant to summon the matchmaker.

"The immortal's poem gave a very favorable judgment," he told her, "and I no longer feel it necessary to hold a viewing. Kindly go ahead and arrange the match."

The matchmaker went gleefully off to Master Iron Door's house, where she reported Vesperus's desire to marry.

"He insisted before on coming for a viewing," said the Master, "which shows that he places beauty above virtue in a woman. He's obviously a frivolous young man. What I want is a son-in-law with character, not some popinjay."

In her anxiety to secure the commission, the matchmaker was driven to try any means, no matter how devious, so she came to Vesperus's defense with the ingenious argument that his desire for a viewing had nothing to do with beauty but sprang solely from a concern that the daughter might be flighty and have inauspicious features and prove in the long run not to be a good wife. "But lately he has heard how strict her upbringing has been and what a paragon of the feminine virtues she is, and that is why he has changed his mind and sent me here with this proposal."