Li Yu - The Carnal Prayer Mat

"In that case only the strongest man could make you spend. My stamina may not be in the highest class, but at least it is well up in the second and, if I summon all my strength, perhaps I'll be able to cope. But what was your late husband's stamina like, I wonder? Was he able to satisfy you every night?"

"His stamina was not even in the second class," said Flora. "At first he was very highly sexed and an experienced seducer, and he did a great many immoral things. He used to say to me, 'Other women's are made of flesh, but yours is made of iron. I've tried everything I can think of, and I still can't get you to spend.' But then he thought up a number of ways of arousing my passions, and sex became a lot easier. Regardless of how many strokes it took, one thousand or two thousand, I'd feel joy at the bottom of my heart and would want to spend."

"In that case please tell me what his methods were. I 'may not have an old man ripe in judgment to guide me, but at least I shall have your statutes and laws.' [83]Let me copy his methods and perhaps save myself some effort."

"The methods are extremely simple, and great fun to try. There are just three of them, six words in all, which are self-explanatory. You'll understand as soon as I say them."

"What are they?"

Flora recited: "Erotic pictures, erotic books, lewd sounds."

"As for erotic pictures and books, I used both methods when I was newly married and they worked well, with one limitation. They aroused me the first time I looked at them, but by the second or third time I became bored. They can be used once in a while, but not as a regular standby."

"I imagine you had only a small supply at home and that you finished them up quickly and got bored. I have a large stock, several dozen albums and several hundred novels, and by the time you finish the last one, you've forgotten the first and can start all over again and get just as excited as before.

"However, there is a right and a wrong time to use them. Erotic pictures should be looked at before sex, while the partners still have their clothes on and are behaving correctly. When looking at a picture and analyzing its subtleties, you should not do anything, even if your feelings happen to be aroused. If the penis stands up and the fluid starts to flow, you must ignore both developments until you've looked at several dozen pictures and can restrain yourselves no longer. That's the way to get the full effect of an erotic album.

"For erotic novels to be of any practical use, they should be read after you've begun but before you've finished. Place the book in front of you before you begin. Then, when you've done it for a while, one or other of you should open the book and read aloud from it. When you come to an exciting passage, start sex again. When you reach a less interesting stage in sex, start reading again. That's the way to get the full effect of an erotic novel."

"What a subtle observation!" said Vesperus. "Obviously I have neglected my studies and made no progress. As the adage says, one's education never ends. Without the benefit of your instruction, I might have gone on studying and practicing all my life and never learned this. I now understand the first two items, but not the last. Not only have I never written on that topic, I'm not even sure what it means. What do you mean by lewd sounds?"

"In my opinion," replied Flora, "there is nothing to surpass it among all the thrills and pleasures of sex. It means lying beside a pair of lovers and listening to the sounds they make-enough to drive you wild with delight. I've always taken a special pleasure in listening to other people in action. While my husband was alive, I used to get him to seduce a maid and do it as rapidly and noisily as possible, so that the girl was quite beside herself and began to cry out. That would bring me to a fever pitch and I'd give a cough, at which he would fly into my bed and pound away furiously. I'd make him ignore the usual strategy and throw himself into a continuous, all-out assault. Not only would I get a pleasant sensation inside, it would spread to the bottom of my heart and I'd spend after no more than seven or eight hundred strokes. As a method, it's even more fun than erotic pictures and novels."

"An even more delightful disquisition!" said Vesperus. "But there is just one point that puzzles me. You told me your honorable husband's stamina was on the inadequate side. If so, how did he manage to seduce a maid and then have sex with her mistress straight afterward? Moreover with the maid he had to do it as rapidly and as loudly as possible. I'd expect him to be a spent force by the time he got to you, so how could he hurl himself into an all-out assault? I'm afraid I'm not able to credit that quite so easily."

"In the first stage I didn't ask him to do it himself, but to use a stand-in. Only in the second stage, the all-out assault, did I have to ask his help. He'd never have been able to manage it all on his own."

"I think I know that stand-in. Is his name Mr. Horn, by any chance?"

"Right. We have lots of them in the house. And as for pretty maids, we have several of those too. I daresay that in our first encounter today I won't have any difficulty spending, but we must try that method tomorrow."

Vesperus was enthralled and felt as if he had just seduced the maid, heard the cough, and rushed into Flora's bed. Heedless of strategy, he threw himself into a continuous, all-out assault.

During their conversation he had not been idle but had thrust steadily away, at least five hundred times in all. Now, with this renewed assault, the pleasant sensation in her vagina spread to the bottom of her heart and, just as if she were dying, her hands and feet grew cold, her eyes glazed over, and her mouth dropped open.

Had Flora not told him her secret in advance, Vesperus would have been alarmed. But after a few minutes, just as she had predicted, she revived and, clasping him to her, sighed in admiration: "What a fine, capable sweetheart you are, to make me spend without a stand-in. Judging by this performance, your stamina belongs in the summa class. How can you say it's only a magna plus?"

"I gave you a summa in my notebook and now you're doing the same thing for me! How quickly you've returned the compliment!"

"I was going to ask you," said Flora, "who crossed out those three names in your notebook and added that comment."

Vesperus was loath to tell her and pretended not to know.

"You may not want to say," said Flora, "but I can easily guess what happened. It was those three wenches, who think I'm old and have lost my looks and can't compare with them, so they liken themselves to Huaiyin and me to Jiang and Guan, as if to say they're ashamed to be ranked with me. Well, they may be a few years younger than I am and their skin a little softer, but I assure you that they're good for nothing but sitting there and letting you admire them. I doubt very much that they can equal this old lady when it comes to the real thing. On top of that, if you compared our vaginas, you'd find a similar difference in quality. I'll keep my feelings to myself for the present and not quarrel with them, but once we have some free time, I'll go over there and organize a contest. We'll all undress and have sex together in broad daylight. Each woman will show what she can do, and then we'll see whether youth or experience wins the day."

"You're right. They're young and untried and they do need an experienced hand to guide them. You should arrange a contest."

"That's for later. We can discuss it some other time. Let's think how to enjoy ourselves now."

It was getting late, so they dressed. Flora told the maids to prepare a formal dinner of welcome for Vesperus. She had an excellent capacity for wine, fully equal to his, and the two of them played guess-fingers and drinking games until the second watch had passed. By that time their feelings were so stirred by the wine that they went back to bed and began again. That evening saw Flora's long period of enforced celibacy come to an end. Her essence flowed easily, and she had no need to resort to her special methods.