Рейчел Уэллс - A Cat Called Alfie

‘Oh I think you’ll find that they’ll be with you from now on,’ I said. I hoped I didn’t sound as insincere as I felt. Tiger had turned her back, she was probably trying not to laugh.

‘Well that’s good.’ He still didn’t sound convinced.

‘But anyway, I heard that that “white ball of fluff” was horrible to you, so we thought we would come and offer support.’

‘Really?’

‘Of course,’ I said.

‘She hissed at me.’

‘She hisses at everyone.’ That much was true.

‘Anyway, I might as well tell you. I told the others, as we’re really close to finding out what they’re up to. The police have been round again and although they didn’t arrest anyone, it’s obvious that they’re actually a criminal gang, masquerading as a normal family.’

‘What?!’ I was incredulous. ‘That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever—’ I saw Salmon’s eyes narrow at me suspiciously and I remembered my plan. ‘I mean really? It seems incredible but it would make sense,’ I quickly corrected myself.

‘Vic and Heather saw a film once and it was similar. They live in a middle-class street and pretend to be normal but actually they’re criminal masterminds.’

‘What criminal activities are they supposed to be doing?’ I was sure this was all fantasy but I couldn’t help feel intrigued.

‘That’s what we don’t know, but clearly the police are onto them. Although Vic says the police can be really dumb so can’t be relied on.’

‘So what are you guys going to do?’ I asked. Surely this was all ridiculous. The angry beautiful cat, the father who looked worried, the mum who was on the verge of breaking down, the teenage girl who confided her loneliness to me, and the surly boy — none of them seemed likely to be members of the criminal underworld.

‘Well, my family think it could be a number of things. It could be something called a white-collar crime, or money laundering, or forgery. They could even be jewel thieves,’ Salmon continued, excitedly, hostility forgotten. His eyes were glinting eagerly — after all, being the street’s busybody cat, he couldn’t resist a good gossip.

‘Wow,’ I said. ‘That’s interesting, what are they going to do?’

‘Oh don’t worry, Alfie, we’re onto them and on top of this. We’re going to get them removed from the street. They rent the house you know, they don’t own it, so it’s only a matter of time. And that is what I told Snowball. She’d better get used to being homeless.’

‘Really?’ I asked, seething inside. ‘OK, well you know where we are if you need any help. Isn’t that right, Tiger?’

‘Huh?’ Tiger said. She’d been sunning herself on Salmon’s lawn, and was now chasing a butterfly as we interrupted her.

‘I said we would help Salmon if he needs us to.’

‘Oh, OK?’ I realized that Tiger hadn’t even been listening. Some bodyguard she was.

We went to play in the park as I wanted to be away from the street, so I could think. As we walked there I relayed the conversation I had just had to Tiger.

‘I can’t believe you didn’t listen,’ I moaned.

‘I got distracted by the shadows the sun cast on the lawn, it was really fun chasing them.’ At least she had the grace to sound contrite.

‘So what are you going to do when Salmon actually asks for our help?’ Tiger asked, after I’d explained what happened.

‘It won’t come to that, Tiger. The thing is that now I know what the Goodwins are up to, we know what we’re dealing with. Now all I have to do is to find out exactly what’s going on with Snowball’s family, that’s my next step.’

‘Great, Alfie.’ Tiger shook her head. ‘I still don’t know why you even care.’ We were lounging in a warm flower bed, swatting the odd fly that came our way.

‘You know me, I like everyone to be happy, cats and humans alike. It means a lot to me.’

‘Are you in love with her?’ she asked me seriously.

‘I don’t know,’ I replied, honestly.

‘Tell me how she makes you feel?’ she asked, suddenly getting onto all fours and looking me in the eye. I knew this was a touchy subject, but I wanted to be honest.

‘She’s mean to me but I still want to see her all the time. I think about her before I go to sleep and when I wake. My tummy does little flips whenever I catch a glimpse of her, I want to be near her, even if she doesn’t want to be near me. That’s pretty much it.’

‘Well, it definitely sounds like you’re in love with her,’ Tiger said.

‘How can you be so sure?’ I asked.

‘If you haven’t figured that out you’re not as clever as you think.’

‘Huh?’

‘I can be sure, Alfie, because that’s how I feel about you.’

I was stunned as Tiger shot me one last glance, before running away, leaving me alone in a flower bed with a fly buzzing around my ears.

Well, that piece of information certainly set the cat among the pigeons. If I thought I was going to try to find Snowball after that little bombshell I was sadly mistaken. I know Tiger had been acting a little bit differently towards me lately — well, since Snowball entered the scene — and I’d been warned by others that she had feelings for me, but I valued Tiger so highly as a friend I guess I hadn’t wanted to confront any of that. And now I’d been forced to, I had no idea what to do.

My head was reeling and I knew I wasn’t nearly sharp enough for the task. In fact, I really needed to have a bit of time to think. And of course I didn’t do great thinking on an empty stomach. Although it wasn’t yet tea time, I realized that if I caught Polly in the house I might get a snack, which would certainly help my focus.

I let myself in through my cat flap and was delighted to see Polly in the kitchen, cooking. The children were both nearby — Henry sat in his booster seat at the table, drawing, and Martha was in her highchair eating carrots. I miaowed loudly.

‘Alfie!’ Henry shouted, grinning broadly. I grinned back and blinked at him. Polly petted me and then without speaking she went to the fridge and took out some milk. She poured it into a bowl and then got my special biscuits out of the cupboard and tipped some of them into another bowl. I quite enjoyed the biscuits, they were tastier than they looked and worked well with my milk. As I finished them off, then cleaned myself and my whiskers, my mind returned to the problem of Tiger’s declaration.

I curled myself up on the sofa in the living room as Polly put a DVD on the television for Henry. He was soon engrossed in it, whilst across the room Martha was just as engrossed as she practised her standing — she finally seemed to be getting the hang of it. Polly sank onto the sofa and I curled up on her lap. It was so comforting to be there as all manner of strange and confusing thoughts about Tiger raced through my brain.

I knew I’d been warned that she felt romantically towards me but I’d put it to the back of my mind and I certainly hadn’t taken it seriously. I might have known but I pushed it away because I didn’t want to deal with it. Tiger was my buddy and I didn’t want anything to change that. However, feelings were already changing that. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I wasn’t sure how I was going to fix this one. It seemed to me that as soon as I thought I had one problem under control, another would present itself.

I wished I could talk to Jonathan, because before he met Claire he had lots of women in his life. Although thinking about it, he generally got rid of them pretty quickly. Nor did they seem to be very happy about it.

I didn’t want to get rid of Tiger, I loved having her as my friend, but I didn’t want a romantic relationship. I needed to be honest with her about how I felt, but the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt her feelings. Oh, it was such a conundrum! The only thing for it was to sleep. Polly stroked me gently, talking to the children every now and then, and I could hear Henry’s laughter and Martha’s occasional tears as I drifted off.