Рейчел Уэллс - A Cat Called Alfie

I was still pondering on the fact that two female cats in my life were less than pleased with me — although I knew I could get round Tiger easily enough — as I returned home. The house was empty although I knew that Claire was due back any minute. I gave myself a quick wash and waited for her by the front door. When I heard the key in the lock and the door open I miaowed. After the day I’d had, I needed someone to be nice to me.

‘Hi, Alfie, it’s not often you greet me at the door. Is it because you’re worried I’m missing Jonathan?’ She rubbed my neck which was one of my favourite things ever. I purred with delight.

After Claire showered and dressed, she fed me and poured herself a glass of wine. I ate quickly then we both sat together in the living room. Her with her book and me with my thoughts of Snowball. I was totally enchanted with her. The doorbell interrupted us and I rushed to see who it was.

‘Polly,’ Claire said, opening the door, ‘come in quick, and have a glass of wine, we’ve just got time.’

I cocked my head to one side, puzzled. Time before what?

‘Do you think we can sneak a bottle in? It might make it more bearable.’

‘Pol, even a litre of Vodka wouldn’t make this more bearable.’ I wondered what they were talking about.

‘I can’t believe I have to go,’ Polly moaned.

‘Why do you?’

‘We tossed a coin. Three times. I lost,’ she replied.

‘Yeah, well at least that’s a bit fair. I’m convinced that Jonathan booked his business trip so he would miss the Neighbourhood Watch meeting.’

Ahh, I suddenly understood. It was the night of Heather and Vic’s big gathering and no one looked forward to that. I decided I would go and see Matt, otherwise I’d be on my own all night and, as I was still a bit bruised from my day, I didn’t fancy being alone.

‘I guess you’ll make him pay for that though,’ Polly laughed.

‘Don’t you worry, if this is the hell I think it’s going to be, then he will definitely pay.’

‘Do you think your new neighbours will be there?’ Polly asked.

‘I don’t know. You know what’s weird is that I haven’t seen them. I couldn’t even tell you what they look like. I did go round a couple of times with a gift to introduce myself but there was no answer.’ Like cat, like owner.

‘I don’t agree with the way Vic and Heather are behaving, acting as if the new family has something to hide but these guys aren’t doing themselves any favours by keeping themselves to themselves,’ Polly pointed out.

‘I know, it’s a bit strange. But then, I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation,’ Claire replied.

‘Let’s hope so, for their sake, otherwise Vic and Heather will be rounding up a lynch mob before we know it.’ They both laughed as they drained their wine and made their way out. I fleetingly wished I could have gone with them — I was intrigued to know what the meeting was actually going to be about, but of course with Salmon there I would be far from welcome. There was no way I was going to risk crossing his path.

I let myself into Matt and Polly’s and found him sitting on the sofa, looking very pleased with himself.

‘Ah, Alfie, nice of you to join me on my boys’ night.’ I saw he had a bottle of beer open on the coffee table. I miaowed and jumped on the sofa next to him. ‘Ha, thank goodness I didn’t have to go to that godawful meeting. You better make yourself comfortable; they’re going to be gone hours.’ He was smiling and I thought he was lucky Polly couldn’t see him. She wouldn’t be happy.

I smiled and curled myself up, nestling into him. As he put a film on the television I sighed contentedly. It was nice to relax at the end of a busy day.

‘Matt,’ I heard a voice shout. Startled, I opened my eyes, as did Matt. ‘Wake up, boys, you were both snoring,’ Polly stated.

‘Sorry, I must have fallen asleep,’ Matt said. I glared at Polly, blinking. I did not snore. Perish, the thought. ‘What time is it?’ he asked.

‘Gone eleven. I’m so angry with you, and with you, Alfie, that neither of you had to endure the hell I did tonight.’

‘So go on, what happened?’ Matt looked as if he was trying hard not to smile, although he still looked as sleepy as I did.

‘Well, where do I start? The new people didn’t come, despite the fact that Heather and Vic had been knocking on their door daily and had also posted a number of flyers through their letter box. Apparently they did see the daughter of the family, a teenage girl who was on her way back from school, and she said that she was sorry but her parents were really up to their necks.’

‘So of course they aren’t going to accept that,’ Matt said.

‘They certainly are not. We tried to reason with Vic and Heather, reminding them that a month isn’t long when you move house and perhaps they needed to give them a bit more time, but then of course they immediately jumped to conclusions, saying they obviously had something to hide. So after hours of speculation they no longer think the house is full of illegal immigrants, but it’s a drugs den.’ Polly shook her head.

‘Based on what?’

‘Nothing but the fact that they haven’t shown themselves. Honestly, Matt, they’re crazed! Apparently it’s our duty, along with everyone else on the street, to watch the house — especially at night — and to report back.’

‘You’re kidding?’

‘No, they even suggested drawing up a roster, but we all said that it wouldn’t work. You know, we have lives. Jesus, Matt. And what’s worse is that some of the other neighbours agreed with them — either they’re mad too or they were too scared to argue. Anyway, they’re having another meeting in a month, attendance is compulsory and you and Jonathan will have to go, my love.’ It was Polly’s turn to smile.

‘Oh boy, that’s something to look forward to. Drugs? Immigrants? This is going to be a barrel of laughs.’

As Polly and Matt hugged, and then started kissing like teenagers I saw it was time for me to take my leave. Matt and Polly had been together for years and years so I had no idea why they had to behave like that. I was going to alert them to the fact that I was going, but they looked so engrossed in each other that I quietly slunk out. I had a feeling I wouldn’t be missed. As I entered my house and made my way upstairs I remembered again that Jonathan was away which meant that Claire would let me sleep on her bed. Yay! I punched my tail in the air in celebration. This day hadn’t gone exactly to plan but it had ended well.

‘Let me get this straight,’ Tiger said. ‘You’re asking me to leave home at the crack of dawn and walk for miles to Aleksy’s house?’

‘Yes,’ I replied, simply. Tiger and I were friends once again; her sulk had only been a short one.

I hadn’t seen Snowball since the cupboard incident, over a week ago, and I knew better than to mention it to Tiger. I didn’t even talk to her about the Goodwins’ meeting, which I had also heard Claire discussing with Jonathan. She told him much the same as I’d heard from Polly, only adding that Vic and Heather said they would have their binoculars trained on the house at all times — meaning they might stray to our house. Jonathan had been pulling the blinds down just in case.

‘Why, again?’ Tiger pushed. I had explained it once but once was never enough for her. Tiger needed to hear everything at least twice before she seemed to understand it.

I had devised one of my plans. Franceska had been for lunch at Polly’s. Strong, stoic Franceska, who was so much an anchor for all my families, was in tears as she explained that she had been to Aleksy’s school but it seemed to have made no difference. The school explained that if Aleksy was, as Franceska and big Tomasz feared, being bullied, they had to either see it happening or Aleksy had to tell them, for them to take any action. But when asked, Aleksy kept saying he was fine. Despite the school saying that they would keep a close eye on things, Franceska wasn’t convinced this was enough. Whilst Aleksy wouldn’t tell them what was going on, he kept coming home covered in scratches and bruises — clear proof, Franceska said, that someone was hurting him.