Рейчел Уэллс - Alfie And George

‘OK, you count to ten and I’ll hide.’

‘But I don’t know how to count!’

‘OK, well just give me a bit of time then.’ I wasn’t sure if I could count either. It wasn’t the most useful skill for a cat, after all.

I went to Summer’s room and decided to climb into her toy box, which was overflowing with her collection of soft toys. By my reckoning, if it took George ages to find me, I would at least be comfortable.

I woke some time later to George licking my head. I opened my eyes and stretched.‘Sorry, I fell asleep.’

‘Wow, you are really good at hiding!’ he exclaimed.‘My turn, my turn.’ He ran off. I felt a bit better for my catnap, but I didn’t rush as I climbed out of the toy box. I could hear George running down the stairs, so I waited a bit on the landing. I noticed that the rain had slowed and I jumped up onto the landing windowsill to see a glimmer of blue sky peeking through the clouds. I wondered if we could go out in a bit — it would be good to get some exercise and perhaps we could pop in to see Matt … Suddenly, there was a loud bang, which made me jump.

‘Yowl,’ I heard George cry. Honestly, I really must stop getting so distracted, what kind of parent was I? I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. I stopped when I saw that one of the cupboards was open, its contents over the floor, and George was poking out of a plastic bag, tangled up in the handle.

‘George, what have you done?’ I asked, using my paw to get the bag off him.‘Bags are dangerous, you must be careful,’ I chastised. Although of course there was a big hole, which was how he’d got in, so I didn’t really need to be too worried. And us cats did like bags, I used to climb into Margaret’s shopping bags all the time when I was little.

‘I was just trying to move it and I fell into it,’ he replied. Honestly this kitten was getting a bit too defiant.‘But I like it!’

‘Not the point. What is this mess?’ I asked, surveying the packets and boxes scattered across the floor.

‘I managed to open that cupboard, which I thought was quite clever, and I wanted to hide but to make it really good hiding I decided to take everything out and hide right at the back, but then I didn’t know how to get it back in …’

‘Oh, George.’ I started trying to figure out how to get things back in the cupboard before realising that I had no chance, so I left it like it was, knowing I would probably be the one who got told off. I wasn’t best pleased with George but I was also cross with Claire and Jonathan. They had put those funny childproof things on most of the cupboards to stop Summer, so why hadn’t they done this one? Honestly, parenting was going downhill these days.

I was exhausted after my attempts to tidy up, but George was hopping around wanting to play. He had far too much energy, so I decided that we would brave the outside. I led him out through the cat flap.

‘It’s wet!’ he screeched as he stood in a puddle and a big fat raindrop plopped onto his head.

‘OK, look, we’ll go and see Matt, come on, I’ll take you the back way.’ I led him over and under fences in the direction of Polly and Matt’s house. Luckily it was a dog-free route. Although George still didn’t like the rain I was hoping that the exercise would wear him out a bit. He was one exhausting kitten at times.

We let ourselves in through the cat flap, and as we both dripped a bit onto the kitchen floor, Matt appeared, talking on the phone. He smiled at us.

‘Polly, calm down. I’ve said it’s OK. I’ll pick the kids up, get them ready for bed and if they’re not too tired they can stay up and see you when you get home.’ He listened for a bit. ‘OK, love you.’ He put the phone down and then looked at us.

‘You guys are pretty damp. Stay in here until you dry off.’ He put the kettle on and I shook my fur. George went and lay in the warmest spot he could find.‘Right, well, nice to see you boys. This being at home on my own is a bit dull, to be honest. Don’t know how Polly did it, but she never seemed to complain … I miss going to work though, I miss the pressure as well as the actual job.’ I went to him and rubbed his leg, but carefully, so he didn’t get too wet.‘Thanks, Alfie. Anyway, I’m trying to make the best of it. I love spending more time with the kids, I really do enjoy that, and it’s nice because I’m seeing them do things I’ve never been around for before. But the school gate is a bit scary, all those women. And in this day and age it still is mainly women, I’m not even being sexist. I got asked to go for coffee today but I was too afraid so I made an excuse. If I’m not careful they’ll draft me onto the PTA!’

‘Miaow?’ I had no idea what he was talking about, none whatsoever.

‘I really do need to get a job. I mean, I might have got the hang of being a househusband, nearly, but it’s just not me, and I miss Polly. I miss us being together and not arguing. I honestly think if I had a job then we wouldn’t argue as much.’

He sat down with his tea and George started chasing his shadow across the kitchen floor.

‘If only life were that simple, eh, Alfie?’ Matt said, looking at George. I purred my agreement. If only I had just my shadow to worry about, but no, I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. Or the weight of Edgar Road at least.

We stayed with Matt until he had to leave to go to the supermarket before picking the kids up. George was very entertaining, being a bit of an exhibitionist, showing Matt how he could jump onto counters and climb up the kitchen blinds — which very nearly didn’t end well. But at least he made us both laugh. It was nice to see Matt smile; now I understood why people watched funny cat videos on the internet for hours, it was better than catnip for lifting a mood. I was so pleased when we left; Matt was smiling, he looked smart and the house was spotless. Maybe he was turning a corner, and it seemed we had definitely cheered him up.

As we left, we bumped into Tiger at the front of the house. The rain had stopped and the sun was almost shining.

‘Hey, guys, how are you?’ she asked, giving George a big nuzzle.

‘Exhausted and in need of a nap,’ I said. I really was. I also wanted time to think about my humans, but with George it was impossible.

‘But I want to play!’ George said. He was still far too full of energy.

‘Hey, Alfie, I can watch him. I’ll take him to the park or something and bring him home after?’ Tiger looked hopeful. An offer of babysitting? How could I refuse, especially as I knew Tiger would never let anything happen to George.

‘You’re on. Now, George, be good for Tiger and I’ll see you later.’ I nuzzled him goodbye and headed home for a well-earned rest.

I enjoyed my nap but I didn’t relax fully while George was out. I knew he was safe with Tiger but still … He hadn’t been out without me before. When I heard the cat flap bang, I rushed to the back door. I put my head through, and saw Tiger sitting with George in front of the cat flap. I grinned; he looked so cute. They looked cute together, in fact: my best friend and my kitten.

‘Hi, Alfie,’ Tiger said.

‘Has he been good?’ I asked.

‘Good as gold. We’ve had so much fun,’ Tiger replied.

‘Oh, Dad, I love the park! We climbed a tree and teased a chubby dog. It was great!’ George was full of enthusiasm and I was both relieved that he was all right and thrilled to see how happy he was.

‘Right, come on in, it’s teatime. Thanks, Tiger, thank you so much.’

‘Can Tiger-Mum come home with us?’ George asked. My heart melted and I looked at Tiger and could see she felt emotional too.

‘I’m afraid not, she has to get home now, but you’ll see her soon. Thanks again, Tiger.’