Кейт Мур - Felix The Railway Cat

Only once she had completed her study of the entire set did she return centre stage and leap up onto the sofa – and onto the lap of the gentleman who was playing her owner. The cast gathered around, and with Felix positioned at the heart of the group the photographer stepped up and started snapping away. Just as she did at the station when the customers pulled out their camera phones, Felix posed and postured and vogued with all the swagger of a supermodel. Oh, she had a whale of a time! The actors made a great fuss of her. But in Felix’s opinion, of course, that was just as it should be. After all, she was their leading lady.

The photographer took a number of shots. Felix sat with all the cast behind her as the flashbulbs popped, looking for all the world like a feline West End star launching her latest theatrical triumph. She was as good as gold and every bit the professional.

Paul and Dave felt rather proud of her as they drove her back to Huddersfield later that day. Of course, to the station team she was already a pin-up and a poster girl, for snapshots of Felix from throughout her life decorated the staff noticeboards back at the station – just as much in pride of place as the formal school photographs of beloved offspring in houses up and down the country.

As for any parent, though, with the good comes the bad. A little later, pride in Felix wasn’t quite the emotion Paul was feeling. Owing to her bad begging habits, Felix, very occasionally, scoffed something that really didn’t agree with her system. And one day she’d evidently eaten something that she shouldn’t have. Rather than take herself off to any number of places that might have been more suitable, however, Felix chose to call on Paul.

He was sitting doing some paperwork at his desk. In strutted Felix and leapt up onto the wooden surface of the table. Paul had recently discovered that he was allergic to cats, after finding himself sneezing violently anytime Felix sat on his lap, so she rarely came into the station manager’s office these days. Paul looked at her enquiringly and wondered what she wanted.

What she wanted … was to vomit all over his desk. Then she neatly leapt down, and walked out.

Well, she was a diva. Paul could clear it up.

And he did.

22. It Must Be Love

Felix the railway cat was the queen of Huddersfield station, as regal as Queen Elizabeth II and as single as the Virgin Queen. Yet as 2013 drew on, it turned out that, like that red-haired beauty Elizabeth I, Felix attracted her own fair share of suitors.

‘Felix has got a boyfriend.’

Angie and Angela were catching up on the latest news, and this hot gossip was spreading like wildfire around the station. Their little Felix had an admirer.

He was a stray black tomcat. Very few – if any – cats ever appeared on the concourse, but it seems word of Felix’s fame had spread in the feline world too, and this new fellow had suddenly started appearing at night. Felix, the fluffy feline goddess, was quite the catch, and the stray began to appear regularly on the night shift as he hung around the station hoping for a glimpse of her. He’d sometimes wait for her at the customer-information desk, looking for all the world like a lovelorn teenager, choosing to settle in this spot that smelt so strongly of his sweetheart.

Angie Hunte, eyeing him up and down from a distance, was none too keen on the look of him. Though he was a bit bigger than Felix, for his shape he was skinny and scrawny, and even from where she stood she could smell his unpleasant, feral scent. Unlike her beautiful fluffy Felix, this cat was short-haired and his coat was unkempt. Oh, he was no good. Angie, like so many a worried mother before her, thought she should intervene.

‘Look, Felix,’ she said, trying to reason with her charge. ‘He’s rough. And when you start with them rough it continues, girl!’

As she observed the two cats together, Angie had reason to hope that her words had hit home. One night shift, Felix was sitting on the customer-information desk when her fella wandered into view. At last, his vigil had paid off. The tomcat sat down and stared wonderingly up at her: this vision of fluffiness so dedicated to her role. But Felix paid him no mind whatsoever. Nose in the air, she kept her head held high.

Ooh, she’s playing hard to get, thought Angie, watching through the door. Good on you, lass, good on you!

But it seems Felix’s curiosity soon got the better of her – or perhaps it was the dedication of her suitor that paid off. ‘Felix, your bloke’s out there for you,’ Angie would say with a disapproving tut, as the black cat prowled around the platforms looking for her girl.

But Felix wasn’t about to let her ‘parents’ see her courting. The team never saw the two of them playing together or even interacting closely. But when the tomcat looked steadily at Felix one evening and then tottered off, she tottered off as well, and they started to follow each other around in the cooling autumn nights.

It was perhaps partly because of these developments – and on the direction of the vet – that Angie determined it would be wise to give Felix a preventative flea treatment the vet had recommended. The station cat didn’t have fleas, but the medicine would ensure that she wouldn’t get them, plus keep her free of them in the future. Given the company she was keeping these days, Angie thought they had better get on with it straight away.

The medicine came in the form of tablets. Angie knew that wasn’t going to go down well with Felix – and she was absolutely right. She tried hiding the tablet in Felix’s food, but the canny cat just ate around it and when she’d finished her meal the tablet would still be there, utterly untouched. Angie tried everything she could think of to get the medicine down her, but eventually it became clear that they were going to have to try another way. It was for Felix’s own good, of course, but Angie knew in her bones the cat wasn’t going to like it one bit.

It took three of them in the end: Angie and two other team members called Dale and Louise. They caught up with Felix in the team leaders’ office.

Felix looked up at them as they entered and her eyes narrowed. Every sense she had told her something was up. When Louise picked her up she kicked up a hell of a fuss, but eventually she resigned herself to the inevitability of it, and Louise was able to hold her still. But Felix was still not happy – and it was written all over her face.

‘Sweetheart,’ Angie said, trying to reassure her, ‘I would not do this unless I had to, I promise you that.’

Then she gently opened the cat’s jaw with her fingers and placed the tablet in her mouth before closing her jaw again.

Felix looked as if she wanted to hawk it up like a hairball and glowered indignantly. Then, as they watched, Felix licked her lips in a way that seemed almost involuntary.

Well, that’s done it , everyone thought. Just in case, they kept hold of her for a moment longer, to make sure the tablet really had gone down.

‘Let’s just make certain she’s OK,’ Angie instructed.

But Felix was. She licked her lips again and Louise set her down on the floor. The trio clapped their hands. Great, we’ve done it, they thought.

‘Job’s a good ’un, team,’ Angie declared. ‘No more stress. Let’s give her a treat.’

But as she opened the door to fetch the Dreamies, Felix made a beeline out of the room. Unusually, she wasn’t hanging around to receive her reward. Angie followed her out into the corridor and watched her go, nodding her head understandingly. She knew Felix hadn’t enjoyed that experience, yet she knew, too, that what the cat needed now was simply to be left alone – Felix would come round in her own time.