Рейчел Уэллс: A Friend Called Alfie

It was all any cat could ever want.

Later, as the clearing up was underway, we all headed to see Dustbin for the last time before it was time to leave. I told George we should take Pickles with us, too, after all it was Christmas, and as the adults had begun to unwind – with the help of a few drinks – they weren’t quite so vigilant with him.

‘You can come too this time,’ I said, and he happily waddled after us.

‘Hello again, Pickles,’ Dustbin said, having met him when he broke out of home and we were on the recreation ground for Tiger’s anniversary. We introduced him to Ally.

‘You’re a funny looking dog, if you don’t mind me saying,’ Ally said as Pickles licked her.

‘He does that, he licks everything,’ George explained, and Pickles licked the window nearest to him to illustrate the point.

‘I don’t exactly mind you saying,’ Pickles replied. ‘But I am more cat than dog now, surely?’ he added. ‘After all I’ve been practising for such a long time.’

‘You’re probably about as much cat as you’re ever going to be,’ George said and I nudged him.

‘Yay! I knew I could do it,’ Pickles replied. ‘It was nice to see you but I’ve got to go inside now, Summer has dropped a lot of food and it needs clearing up.’ He waddled back to eat the scraps.

‘He’ll never really be a cat will he?’ George said.

‘It’s unfortunate but a lesson of life, there’s no dog or human as clever as a cat,’ I pointed out. ‘But don’t tell Pickles that.’

‘So another year drawing to a close,’ Dustbin said.

‘And it’s been eventful,’ I added. ‘What with Pickles’ arrival, then Harold, George and his job, and Snowball.’ I grinned over at her. I still felt a flutter in my heart every time I saw her and I could barely believe that she was back with us. Back in my life.

‘I was so upset that my family moved away, and that I had to be rehomed but it’s worked out pretty well,’ Snowball said.

‘Definitely for us,’ George said sweetly.

‘And I met Ally,’ Dustbin said. ‘Which made me see what all the fuss is about.’ He looked down and I knew this was an emotional time for him.

‘And I am still here,’ Hana announced, putting a paw out to join us and shivering. George nuzzled her.

‘We are so lucky to have each other aren’t we?’ he said.

‘We are and if we learnt anything this year it’s the importance of love, of helping people and of friendship. Being a friend is the best thing ever.’

‘I like friendship,’ Hana said. ‘I never had cat friends before I met you guys and I am so lucky to have you.’

‘For me to have met friends again, old and new, when I could have been so lonely is a miracle,’ Snowball added.

‘And I love all my friends, old and new, human and cat. It’s part of my job after all,’ George added seriously.

‘Well I for one am glad I met you all,’ Ally said. ‘I can’t believe how much friendship has changed my life for the better. Being a friend is the best thing ever!’

‘Let’s toast to friendship,’ George said, raising his paw. He’d got that from the humans who did it all the time with drinks. We all put our paws up, feeling the warmth despite the freezing cold.

‘And it’s easy to be a friend when you’ve got a friend called Alfie,’ Dustbin finished.

Catstrology

By Alfie the Doorstep Cat & Astrologer Jessica Adams

Introduction

Ever wondered how your cat’s zodiac sign affects its personality? What sign is the biggest hunter, or the most likely to be a lap cat? Which is the most fond of its food, or the most loyal? How does the zodiac sign affect their character? Can it also explain favourite foods, toys, pastimes and temperament?

Humans are always reading their horoscopes. Claire, one of my owners, insists on reading her and her husband’s stars almost daily, so I thought it was about time that we did the same for cats. I, Alfie, believe that star signs are as relevant to cats as they are to people, so I wanted to put together this fun guide to your cat’s star sign. I am a Scorpio and as you will see when you get to read about Scorpios, it really does explain a lot about my personality. Therefore, I am a firm believer in Catstrology.

Astrologer Jessica Adams, whose horoscopes appear everywhere from Vogue Japan, to Family Circle USA, to Cosmopolitan Australia, is helping me to delve into how the zodiac affects your favourite pets. In our brief guide, you can learn how your cat’s star sign can affect your cat’s personality. Personally, I believe it’s as fascinating as pilchards.

Your cat’s star sign is either when they were born or when they were adopted by you – and as many of you know, adoption is like a rebirth for us cats. By reading our special guide, you can discover which star signs belong to the most independent of cats, the biggest divas, the silliest cats, and the cleverest.

Welcome to Catstrology, or as I also like to call it, Alfiescopes!

Aries

The Aries cat is one competitive cat. Watch out as they can be prone to pick fights with other cats; the Aries is a natural fighter and will take on dogs, humans – probably even a giraffe. The Aries cat is also a biter. They are not necessarily aggressive but they do believe in the natural order. They like to be top cat! So, for example, don’t take an Aries to a cat show; they do not like coming second or, worse, third.

The Aries cat is athletic and a very fast runner who can go from 0 to 100 with ease. These cats are competitive and will run races with greyhounds. Tickle an Aries cat’s tummy at your own peril as you’ll get attacked. They are quite the hunter, and will always be able to take care of themselves. I also wouldn’t recommend getting too close with mouse-on-a-string or fish-on-a-rod games because the Aries cat will thwack you a good one.

Aries is a masculine sign so even the prettiest little female Aries kitten can seem blokey. Aries cats will often look good in a red collar. And whatever the coat, spiritually, the Aries cat is a ginger Tom.

Perhaps the best thing about the Aries cat is that you always know your place with them. They come first, you don’t.

Taurus

One of the overriding characteristics of Taurus cats is that they definitely like their food. They are greedy pussy cats who put on layers for winter … all year around. They also have impeccable taste in food as they prefer human food to cat food, likely because human food costs more. They are salmon mad … Cheese crazy … And they can even say ‘Brie’ in meow-meow language. They save food for later as if it’s money in a bank account. They’re not great at sharing that food though, so don’t try to make them.

The Taurus cat will also earn its keep – they are excellent ratters. They do tend to bring their trophies home through the cat flap in return for rewards, and, if this doesn’t work (we know that with humans, our trophies aren’t always appreciated), the Taurus cat will learn tricks to earn rewards as they believe in being paid for a job well done.

Taurus cats like cat shows – if they win – but can be awfully miffed if they miss out on the money. Basically, the Taurus cat expects to be well rewarded. They can also be possessive about their belongings, so don’t take their toy catnip mouse or there will be consequences …

Gemini

Geminis are the cats that like to communicate most. They are definitely a chatty catty! They have a vocabulary of different meows and it’s up to you, as humans, to translate them. They are very bright cats, who know how to say words like ‘hello’ and ask ‘why?’, even as kittens. Leave paint around and Gemini cats will step in it in order to leave paw print messages around the house. It’s cat code for whatever you don’t normally understand …