Fang Fang - Wuhan Diary - Dispatches from a Quarantined City

But going down to the west gate to pick up the medicine was actually quite enjoyable because I got to enjoy a full five minutes of sunlight on the way there and back; what a treat! Both of our main meals today are soups or soft dishes that won’t irritate his mouth; but waxed-duck and Chinese radish soup with some century eggs on the side was enough to fill us up while being quite tasty and nutritious. The medicine I bought is fairly easy to use; you just spray it in your mouth once every two hours. The Chinese medicine needs to be taken as a hot drink three times a day; I’ll start that one tomorrow. The good thing is that with Chinese medicine it doesn’t really matter if use a bit extra in the beginning. By the evening, Z’s mouth was already much better; I don’t think it will keep him up again tonight.

March 19: Today is our 59th day at home. Z’s mouth ulcer is much better. I guess we bought the right medicine. This afternoon for lunch I reheated the waxed-duck and Chinese radish soup from yesterday, but threw in a bunch of other ingredients like cabbage; that way, with a bowl of rice, it will be a full nutritious meal: another delicious soup dish. Hopefully, tomorrow his mouth will be good enough for us to start eating normal solid foods again.

L’s old partner had a stroke last year; at first it didn’t seem that serious and he had made a decent recovery, but the whole process was very stressful for him and he ended up with a long-lasting depression. Over the course of this extended lockdown, the two of them started to really get on each other’s nerves. I remember last time she texted me on WeChat she told me how terrible it was. Everyone is ecstatic today since the number of new cases just went down to zero so I thought I’d reach out to see how she and her husband were doing. I never imagined that the first thing she would say would be that she broke down crying as soon as she saw the number get down to zero. I never imagined her to respond so strongly; compared to her, I wonder if I’ve turned into a zombie after being locked up at home for so long. Of course I’m happy, but I also quickly realized that today only marks the first day at zero, we still have a long way to go.

Before I even had a chance to share what I’ve been going through, she just unloaded all kinds of complaints on me: “Oh my, we can’t go on like this! We’re just stuck at home every day. All day all he thinks about is his illness, he’s a real hypochondriac, oh my goodness, I’m so frustrated! Every day at home all he talks about is his illness coming back! He keeps babbling about wanting to go to the hospital yet at the same time he’s scared to go; so he ends up just sitting at home fixating on his illness. He gets so wrapped up in it that he can’t even sleep. I’ll tell you, this old man is going to make me have a nervous breakdown!”

I tried to talk some sense into her by explaining that once you enter old age there are a lot of times where you simply need to calm down and let things go. I told her what was most important was having someone there beside her to keep from feeling too lonely. I even suggested that she try looking at herself as a carefree big sister who has to take care of a naughty child; if that doesn’t work try to just laugh it off or pretend you are brain dead. I feel like people with psychological problems all have a common trait; when they say something crazy, you just nod your head in agreement, and then once that is out of the way you can do whatever the hell you want to. When you run into situations where you simply can’t agree with them, never try to talk sense into them, that will just make things worse. Instead you had better just shut your mouth and say nothing. There’s nothing else you can do because the person you are dealing with is not entirely normal.

When I read this entry written by my sister-in-law I thought it was really interesting, especially the part about “the person you are dealing with is not entirely normal,” which was particularly funny to read.

Today is a day worth commemorating: Day 60 of the quarantine. Today there were quite a few people who got in touch with me, asking me to stop writing. They are probably afraid about the number of people now attacking me online. Actually, I only intended on writing 54 chapters—a perfect deck of poker cards—I joked with my friend about playing out my entire hand. But I didn’t end up stopping on Day 54; instead I have decided to go up to 60. Today all my friends suddenly seem to think that the danger level has risen. I’m also starting to sense that. This afternoon the number of people attacking me on Weibo seemed to clearly double. My friends probably all know who these people attacking me are.

A few years ago there was a popular slogan online: “When the Emperor’s Bar sets out on an expedition, not even a single blade of grass grows.” [23] This slogan refers to a 2016 online political incident. The “Emperor” is the online nickname for Li Yi, a Chinese sociologist who was educated in America and has a strong online presence in China on the platform Baidu. In 2016 members of the “Emperor’s Bar” launched a propaganda campaign on international social media platforms like Facebook to promote Chinese unification with Taiwan and to criticize the Taiwan independence movement. At the time I also thought this whole controversy was quite something and even forwarded a few posts about it. Someone in my friends group also forwarded me a “command” sent out from the Official Weibo Account of the Emperor’s Bar. The Official Weibo Account of the Emperor’s Bar listed a series of articles about me. Now that was really something. Somehow in the eyes of the “Bar Boss,” I must be their enemy now? Last year this group did in fact express support for those who collectively mobilize people to use extreme obscenities for nationalistic purposes. At the time, I publicly criticized them and ended up having my account suspended for that. The Emperor’s Bar has a large group of 10 million followers online. I suppose the “Bar Boss” couldn’t tolerate this offense. That’s because their leader is indeed the greatest under heaven; no one in this world is a worthy opponent for him. I found this quite amusing. But I still want to believe that 99 percent of the members of the Emperor’s Bar are reasonable young people. If there are some even-headed people supporting this platform, how could this Bar have continued on for so long? The slogan “when the Emperor’s Bar sets out on an expedition, not even a single blade of grass grows” would actually be great as an advertising slogan.

Spring is now here. Spring is a season of awakening; it is also a season of hope. That awakening and hope are embodied in a poem that begins: “The wildfires continue to burn for now, but when the spring winds blow life will return.” [24] A line of poetry from an iconic poem by Bai Juyi, dating from the Tang Dynasty.

March 23, 2020

All those questions, they remain unanswered.

Day 61 of the quarantine. I began to post this diary on Weibo starting on Day One of the Lunar New Year (January 25); that was five days after the lockdown began. Today marks my 59th diary entry.

A bright clear day and the temperature is perfect. This afternoon I was finally able to take the dog to the vet. His skin problem has been acting up again and is now festering all over his body; I can’t delay treatment for him any longer. The injury on my finger is also pretty bad; I need to get it checked out. Before long the vet sent me a video of my dog; they said he was so dirty that the tub of water all turned black! They also said they would need to shave him in order to properly treat his skin problem. This dog was born on Christmas Eve of 2003; at the end of the year he will be 17 years old, a bit too old for a dog. All the other dogs I had from back then have all long died. He’s the survivor. He still has an appetite and still likes to play, but his vision is going and he doesn’t hear so well anymore. Once he got old, his skin condition also started to deteriorate and has become really difficult to treat. During normal times, I make sure to occasionally take him to the vet to get bathed and treated for his skin disease. But this time, because of the quarantine, he was way overdue for a visit. But it’s a good thing that everything is improving now; they’ll take good care of him at the hospital and I can finally rest easy.