Fang Fang - Wuhan Diary - Dispatches from a Quarantined City

My name is Xiang Xinran and I am currently reading yesterday’s edition of my local community publication Coronavirus Report . “In accordance with the blanket recommendations issued by the municipal government, the district has already identified 15 individuals who fall into the four categories of: confirmed coronavirus patients, suspected coronavirus patients, patients with a fever, and those in close contact with confirmed patients. We have provided these individuals with treatment as needed and they have all now been removed from our residence community.”

According to the municipal zoning, the district in which I live is considered to be at highest risk for novel coronavirus infections. There have already been six local residents who have already passed away after contracting the coronavirus. Most of them were not admitted to the hospital before they died. Although there is a hospital designated as a coronavirus treatment center just next to our community, it is extremely difficult to get a bed there. Patients who have already tested positive for coronavirus line up outside the hospital all night just hoping to get in. The line of patients stretches all the way to the entrance of my neighborhood. (Our complex quickly sealed our back gate to keep the patients from coming in.) This is what Wuhan was like during the early stages of the outbreak.

Because our community is mostly made up of people formerly affiliated with the old Design School, everyone knows each other here; we are all former coworkers and longtime neighbors, so seeing so many of our friends suddenly taken away is just too difficult to face and has left us in a state of fear. As this dark cloud descends on our city, elderly residents living by themselves like my wife and me are left completely helpless!!

It was at that moment that I received a message over WeChat from an old classmate: “Since we know you are in Wuhan, we are even more concerned about the fight against the coronavirus that is currently raging there and we want to express our support!” That’s right. I graduated in 1963 and was assigned to Wuhan to work at Southcentral Architecture and Design Institute. There were three of us from my graduating class who got sent to Wuhan, and I was the only one who stayed here all these years.

Gradually other classmates also started to send their thoughts and prayers for me online. Even more of them just picked up the phone to express their concern and lend an encouraging voice. One of my old classmates who now lives in the United States started chatting with me online…. All these friends have been treating me more like family than a friend in the way that they have been expressing their concern; this has provided my wife and me with warmth and strength. I will always be forever thankful for these expressions of concern.

I was especially moved by one classmate who passed on a message from one of our teachers; he told me to: “take care of yourself, drink plenty of water, and be sure to have some smoked Asian wormwood….”

I’m actually not at all afraid of death. I have, after all, already made it past the average life span in China; it is only a matter of time before death comes, which is natural. However, if I die from this virus, that would, without question, be considered a form of “murder.” I’m not going to stand for that!

It has already been more than a month since I have gone downstairs and left my building. I often stand on my fifth-floor balcony staring blankly at the dead-silent world that surrounds me below.

I used to see a lot of posts suggesting that elderly people shouldn’t worry too much; they should just try to eat well and enjoy themselves. There is some logic to that because even if we do worry there isn’t much we can do to change things! After all, at this stage in life, what are we capable of doing that might actually affect the world? But then again there is that old saying: Once you have understood the teachings of the moral path, you are obliged to follow them until death! And so I have no choice but to worry about what is happening and to express my concern.

During these days as the disease runs rampant through our society and we remain cloistered inside our homes, I keep wondering why the Chinese people have been destined to face such a cruel fate! Why have our people continued to face calamity after calamity? When I think of all this, I feel like the only thing left to do is pray. And so I pray that after this calamity has passed, China will face a world of peace and prosperity… at least, that is my hope.

Each word, every sentence, is backed up with genuine feelings. When he writes “if I die from this virus, that would, without question, be considered a form of ‘murder.’ I’m not going to stand for that!” I wonder how many people in Wuhan share those thoughts?

There are a lot of old-timers living alone here in Wuhan just like Mr. Xiang. During normal times there would often be caregivers or hourly helpers who would be around to help people like Mr. Xiang, but since the outbreak occurred during the Chinese New Year, most of those workers all went back to their homes in the countryside, leaving the elderly alone to fend for themselves. For a while I was worried that Chancellor Liu Daoyu [30] Liu Daoyu (b. 1933) is a well-known educator, chemist, and social activist. He has served as the chancellor of Wuhan University and various high-level roles within the Chinese Ministry of Education. Besides his research accomplishments in the field of chemistry, he has also authored numerous books on education and career planning. might also be alone at home without any help, because he normally has a helper who probably also went home for the New Year. I sent him a text over WeChat and was relieved to learn that his son and daughter-in-law had come home for the holidays and now they were all stuck at home together. My old classmate Lao Dao’s parents are both 96 years old and they are also quarantined where they live; their daughter isn’t even allowed to go there to help them out. At least they are both in good health and able to take care of themselves. They not only try not to be a burden on society, but they also do their best not to let their daughter unnecessarily worry; like so many other residents of this city, they too are trying to be optimistic and wait out this terrible outbreak.

To think about it from another angle: I’m afraid that many of these elderly residents need to expend a huge amount of energy just to take care of everyday things and live a normal life. Many of these older residents need to summon up all their strength just to carry out basic tasks. We all know that just taking care of everyday household chores like cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, and straightening up is a big job when you put everything together. I’m not sure if local communities have people responsible for checking in on their elderly residents to make sure everything at home is okay and to help them out when needed.

The dark clouds of death continue to circle the sky above the city of Wuhan. Today one of those clouds floated past me: A famous editorial writer for the Hubei Daily just got infected, along with his entire family. They requested to be admitted to the hospital two weeks ago, but never got a call back. By the time they were finally admitted, his condition had already deteriorated. He died today. And today there is one more shattered family added to this world.

February 21, 2020

I donate my body to the nation; what about my wife?

Thirty days now since the quarantine was first imposed. My goodness, it has been so long. Today is sunny and warm; the weather is so nice that you have the urge to go outside and take a walk. Back in another era, those old-time residents of Hankou would pack a wicker picnic basket full of snacks and hire a rickshaw to take them down by the lake for a stroll. Today the lakeside areas in all three of the major urban districts around Wuhan have been turned into parks; you can take a stroll almost anywhere. When spring arrives each year the wetlands in Huanghualao are always filled with people taking photos and flying kites. And then in the East River area there is a garden bursting with plum blossoms; but this year they are all blooming in vain. I’m afraid that by now all the plum blossoms have already shed their petals in desolation and loneliness. And so here I express my nostalgia for those flowers that no one will see.