J. Powers - Suitable Accommodations - An Autobiographical Story of Family Life - The Letters of J. F. Powers, 1942-1963

I came back to Chicago in the spring. It was terrible still. I worked for Marshall Field’s in the book section and met my first homosexuals. I enjoy their company today, so long as the situation is clear to them. I began to read, though while traveling I would look for my material on Sinclair Lewis in every town I’d pass through, and discovered Huxley, Aldington, and then, moving backward, Huysmans, Symons, Verlaine, Baudelaire. I took French lessons privately for two years because I wanted particularly to read Baudelaire. I got a job as an editor on Historical Records, WPA. I fell in love, or roughly speaking, did, with a Romanian girl. She taught me some things. It was the first time I felt that it might be good to know a woman who would worry about whether it was raining or missing a class (I was going to Northwestern at nights). But I spurned such pedestrian stuff. I wanted wine, women, and song — but not domestic wine, married women (married to me), and the best songs, I felt, had been made up at the time of Villon. I was a nice case of nonsense, I suppose. We parted. I met another girl who was more a woman. But I don’t think I’ll follow this any further … it is not good, I see, to go into these deals until we know each other better and perhaps never at all. I know I don’t care to know about your affairs or whatever you call them.

Presently I am in love with you, as I have been with nobody else, as indeed I thought not possible for me, and as for other people being in love, I knew what they were all about. I love you, Betty. Please love me accordingly. It has taken me a long time to come to you. I have taken the long way around, and I have missed several turns. I am glad I missed them. I believe there is no one else in the world but you for me. I do not care what Uncle Em or the Catholic Church knows about mating males and females. You are for me. I hope I am for you. There is no other way. You could kill someone if you told me now you no longer loved me. That is the way it is. Je t’adore is not wrong when I say it to you. I do. […]

Love,

Jim

JOHN MARSHALL

150 Summit Avenue

November 26, 1945

Dear Marsh,

Your letter rec’d, filed, and now in process of being preserved for posterity. Enjoyed your sample of the professor of anatomy, a dull business, methinks. How can I keep from looking down on doctors? I see little of them now that I work at night, but when I do, I think how meek and humble and poor fare for satire are priests compared to them. Doctors have the world by the balls as priests must have had it in the Middle Ages. A priest asked me why the St Joseph’s nuns were so cold toward priests. I had to pretend incredulity and ignorance. I could not tell them that their priests wear white, have plenty of jack, and roll into the place in tweeds in the morning. I am trusting that you will rise above all this. What I mean, I guess, is that they make such an individual deal out of being a doctor (as though they were artists) when they are popped out of the medical factories like horseflies in August. You know all this, and I am not talking to you. I am just a little irritated, I suppose, to have to carry beer in a saloon the sign out front of which I don’t care for. September, let us pray, I’ll be a free man. […]

I have met a girl I intend to marry in May or June. She is a writer, unpublished except for the college magazine, contests — Americanism, what I like about it — and Atlantic Monthly essay contests. She has written a beautiful novel. She is as fine as, say, you are, and I hope I won’t be too crude for her. Catholic, of course, my priestly connections would never permit me to entertain heresy on such a permanent basis as marriage. […]

Harry Sylvester is coming back from Guatemala in the spring to teach a seminar at St Benedict’s (where Sister Mariella is head of the English department); Emerson Hynes, a rural lifer and a fine fellow despite all that, and a couple of other interesting people are bedded down in the vicinity (Back to Benedict). I expect my wife to be more popular than I’ll ever be. That may sound like murder at a distance, but she is also a UChristian of the sort I’ve never come against before. I mean she is without being ugly, and so isn’t of necessity. Likes Dante. Me, I like Grain Belt, a friendly beer.

Pax. Write.

Jim

BETTY WAHL

150 Summit Avenue

November 28, 1945

My dear Betty,

[…] Well, when I got up today, I found the toilet lying on its side like a wounded horse and the floor up in chunks all over the bathroom. It seems something broke, or has been broke for quite a while, causing water to drip down below. But since, as the plumber put it, I am not home much, the former occupants didn’t mind a minimum of dripping, but now someone new lives downstairs, and they don’t like dripping, even a minimum of it. I guess they’re stuck up. […]

I love you.

Jim

BETTY WAHL

150 Summit Avenue

November 29, 1945

My dear Elizabeth Alice,

[…] I have a large case of whiskers presently but can’t get into the bathroom for the plumber and his toys, which are all over the place. No, Betty, we will “never have our first fight.” I am counting on you to prevent that by seeing the ultimate truth in whatever opinion I hold on anything — such as pajamas. Why are you so stuck on pajamas? It makes me uncomfortable to think of you sleeping in pajamas and whatever else you wear, as implied. I think of LeBerthon in his ski suit. I am open to persuasion, however, but you will have to prove it to me along approved debating lines. Think of the poets, probably even Dante, I can summon to my side of the question. You will have only Edgar Guest and Longfellow (who slept in his beard, which is not the same thing) on your side. The angels — do you think they use pajamas?

I am sorry you prefer Fuzzwick to my middle name. I do not know what that means. I wonder if you could be contemplating violence where my dignity is concerned. Do you intend to make of me one of those hapless American males with a funny name, such as Blondie’s husband, Dagwood? Beware, young woman, if so. It will go hard with you, and Mother Church will back me up, you know that, where discipline is involved, she is on the man’s side (that is what Don Humphrey likes about it and what Mary Humphrey doesn’t like). Now I am going to cut this off. I enclose a key to the apartment instead of putting it under the door. You keep it until you need it in May or June. Also some more mail — to show you what a big demand there is for authentic JFP on the market. (Actually, I am worried, but hope to lay up a few stories this winter, like squirrels bury nuts.)

I love you .

Jim

Father Harvey Egan (“Dear Pere … you can get your checkbook out any day now.”)

Betty paid her first visit to Jim in St. Paul. She came by train from St. Cloud and spent a couple of days with him in relative chastity. In his letters, Jim began his campaign to drive home to her that he really did not intend to take a job. At the same time, he was becoming increasingly concerned about Don Humphrey’s situation of near homelessness and ever more disgusted by the failure of those who had the wherewithal to support him to come through with the goods.

BETTY WAHL

150 Summit Avenue

December 4, 1945

A few minutes before seven the next morning.

Dear Betty,

A line to let you know I love you. I am feeling terrible this morning, and a couple of times last night I wondered if I would make it. I was deadly tired when you left. I guess I was tired when you were here but didn’t know it with you to be near. In a few minutes I’ll take a bath and go to bed. I will take this, and Fr Egan’s letters, which I forgot to mail, downstairs first, though. I hope when we’re married and living here you won’t have such a tremendous effect on me, that it won’t seem too much like hell to leave you and go through the motions I have to at the hospital. I know you must be worn out too today and hope you will sleep. You did look pale when I left you or you left me last night. You must be healthy if you are going to carry your cross, which is me, successfully.