Alan Milne - The house at Pooh Corner

Pooh said good-bye affectionately to his fourteen pots of honey, and hoped they were fifteen; and he and Rabbit went out into the Forest.

"Now," said Rabbit, "this is a Search, and I've Organized it …"

"Done what to it?" said Pooh.

"Organized it. Which means-well, it's what you do to a Search, when you don't all look in the same place at once. So I want you, Pooh, to search by the Six Pine Trees first, and then work your way towards Owl's House, and look out for me there. Do you see?"

"No," said Pooh. "What "

"Then I'll see you at Owl's House in about an hour's time."

"Is Piglet organdized too?"

"We all are," said Rabbit, and off he went.

As soon as Rabbit was out of sight, Pooh remembered that he had forgotten to ask who Small was, and whether he was the sort of friend-and-relation who settled on one's nose, or the sort who got trodden on by mistake, and as it was Too Late Now, he thought he would begin the Hunt by looking for Piglet, and asking him what they were looking for before he looked for it.

"And it's no good looking at the Six Pine Trees for Piglet," said Pooh to himself, "because he's been organdized in a special place of his own. So I shall have to look for the Special Place first. I wonder where it is." And he wrote it down in his head like this:

ORDER OF LOOKING FOR THINGS.

I. Special Place. (To find Piglet.)

2. Piglet. (To find who Small is.)

3. Small. (To find Small.)

4. Rabbit. (To tell him I've found Small.)

5. Small Again. (To tell him I've found Rabbit.)

"Which makes it look like a bothering sort of day," thought Pooh, as he stumped along.

The next moment the day became very bothering indeed, because Pooh was so busy not looking where he was going that he stepped on a piece of the Forest which had been left out by mistake; and he only just had time to think to himself: "I'm flying. What Owl does. I wonder how you stop …" when he stopped.

Bump!

"Ow!" squeaked something.

"That's funny," thought Pooh. "I said 'Ow! without really oo'ing."

"Help!" said a small, high voice.

"That's me again," thought Pooh. "I've had an Accident, and fallen down a well, and my voice has gone all squeaky and works before I'm ready for it, because I've done something to myself inside. Bother!"

"Help-help!"

"There you are! I say things when I'm not trying. So it must be a very bad Accident." And then he thought that perhaps when he did try to say things he wouldn't be able to; so, to make sure, he said loudly:

"A Very Bad Accident to Pooh Bear."

"Pooh!" squeaked the voice.

"It's Piglet!" cried Pooh eagerly. "Where are you?"

"Underneath," said Piglet in an underneath sort of way.

"Underneath what?"

"You," squeaked Piglet. "Get up!"

"Oh!" said Pooh, and scrambled up as quickly as he could. "Did I fall on you, Piglet?"

"You fell on me," said Piglet, feeling himself all over.

"I didn't mean to," said Pooh sorrowfully.

"I didn't mean to be underneath," said Piglet sadly. "But I'm all right now, Pooh, and I am so glad it was you."

"What's happened?" said Pooh. "Where are we?"

"I think we're in a sort of Pit. I was walking along, looking for somebody, and then suddenly I wasn't any more, and just when I got up to see where I was, something fell on me. And it was you."

"So it was," said Pooh. "Yes," said Piglet. "Pooh," he went on nervously, and came a little closer, "do you think we're in a Trap?"

Pooh hadn't thought about it at all, but now he nodded. For suddenly he remembered how he and Piglet had once made a Pooh Trap for Heffalumps, and he guessed what had happened. He and Piglet had fallen into a Heffalump Trap for Poohs! That was what it was.

"What happens when the Heffalump comes?" asked Piglet tremblingly, when he had heard the news.

"Perhaps he won't notice you, Piglet," said Pooh encouragingly, "because you're a Very Small Animal."

"But he'll notice you, Pooh."

"He'll notice me, and I shall notice him," said Pooh, thinking it out. "We'll notice each other for a long time, and then he'll say: 'Ho-ho!'"

Piglet shivered a little at the thought of that "Ho-ho!" and his ears began to twitch.

"W-what will you say?" he asked.

Pooh tried to think of something he would say, but the more he thought, the more he felt that there is no real answer to "Ho-ho!" said by a Heffalump in the sort of voice this Heffalump was going to say it in.

"I shan't say anything," said Pooh at last. "I shall just hum to myself, as if I was waiting for something."

"Then perhaps he'll say 'Ho-ho!' again?" suggested Piglet anxiously.

"He will," said Pooh.

Piglet's ears twitched so quickly that he had to lean them against the side of the Trap to keep them quiet.

"He will say it again," said Pooh, "and I shall go on humming. And that will Upset him. Because when you say 'Ho-ho!' twice, in a gloating sort of way, and the other person only hums, you suddenly find, just as you begin to say it the third time that-that-well, you find …"

"What?"

"That it isn't," said Pooh.

"Isn't what?"

Pooh knew what he meant, but, being a Bear of Very Little Brain, couldn't think of the words.

"Well, it just isn't," he said again.

"You mean it isn't ho-ho-ish any more?" said Piglet hopefully.

Pooh looked at him admiringly and said that that was what he meant – if you went on humming all the time, because you couldn't go on saying "Ho-ho!" for ever.

"But he'll say something else," said Piglet.

"That's just it. He'll say? What's all this?" And then I shall say – and this is a very good idea, Piglet, which I've just thought of – I shall say: `It's a trap for a Heffalump which I've made, and I'm waiting for the Heffalump to fall in.' And I shall go on humming. That will Unsettle him."

"Pooh!" cried Piglet, and now it was his turn to be the admiring one. "You've saved us!"

"Have I?" said Pooh, not feeling quite sure.

But Piglet was quite sure; and his mind ran on, and he saw Pooh and the Heffalump talking to each other, and he thought suddenly, and a little sadly, that it would have been rather nice if it had been Piglet and the Heffalump talking so grandly to each other, and not Pooh, much as he loved Pooh; because he really had more brain than Pooh, and the conversation would go better if he and not Pooh were doing one side of it, and it would be comforting afterwards in the evenings to look back on the day when he answered a Heffalump back as bravely as if the Heffalump wasn't there. It seemed so easy now. He knew just what he would say:

HEFFALUMP(gloatingly): "Ho-ho!"

PIGLET(carelessly): "Tra-la-la, tra-la-la."

HEFFALUMP(surprised, and not quite so sure of himself): "Ho-ho!"

PIGLET(more carelessly still): "Tiddle-um-tum, tiddle-um-tum."

HEFFALUMP(beginning to say Ho-ho and turning it awkwardly into a cough): "H'r'm! What's all this?"

PIGLET(surprised): "Hullo! This is a trap I've made, and I'm waiting for a Heffalump to fall into it."

HEFFALUMP(greatly disappointed): "Oh!" (After a long silence): "Are you sure?"

PIGLET: "Yes."

HEFFALUMP: "Oh!" (nervously): "I-I thought it was a trap I'd made to catch Piglets."

PIGLET(surprised): "Oh, no!"

HEFFALUMP: "Oh!" (Apologetically): "I-I must have got it wrong then."

PIGLET: "I'm afraid so." (Politely): "I'm sorry." (He goes on humming.)

HEFFALUMP: "Well-well-I-well. I suppose I'd better be getting back?"

PIGLET(looking up carelessly): "Must you? Well, if you see Christopher Robin anywhere, you might tell him I want him."