Эрин Хантер - Darkest Night

Anger flashed in Leafstar’s gaze. “You should have said something earlier.” Her pelt ruffled. “This is not the right time to change your mind.”

Trembling, Twigpaw held her gaze. “It’s better than changing it after the ceremony.”

Sandynose padded forward. Twigpaw braced herself for his harsh words, but his expression was gentle. He stood beside her, his pelt touching hers. “Twigpaw has not made this decision lightly. I’ve seen her struggling to do the right thing. Her heart has been torn in two directions since she came.” He looked at Leafstar. “I’m proud she found the courage to decide.”

Leafstar grunted. “She’s wasted our time.”

“She’s found where her true loyalty lies. That is not a waste of anyone’s time,” Sandynose meowed. “If she’d stayed here, with half her heart in ThunderClan, what use would she have been?”

Twigpaw padded forward. “I’m sorry.” Shame crawled beneath her pelt. She glanced at Finpaw. He was staring at her, disappointment in his wide yellow gaze.

Leafstar turned away, flicking her tail. “The ceremony is over,” she meowed, dismissing the watching cats.

Hawkwing hurried to Twigpaw’s side. “Sandynose is right,” he meowed. “You’ve been brave.”

The claws in Twigpaw’s heart curled deeper as she saw sadness flashing through his eyes. “I wanted to be with you and Violetshine,” she mewed plaintively. “But ever since I came here, I’ve felt guilty for leaving ThunderClan.” She dropped her gaze. “And I’ve missed them.”

A growl sounded behind her. She turned.

Violetshine glared at her. “You’re abandoning me again!”

“No, I’m not,” Twigpaw stiffened with shock. “I’m still your sister. Nothing will change that.”

Violetshine wasn’t listening. “You left me when we were in ShadowClan. And you’re leaving me now. All for your precious ThunderClan! What’s so special about them? They’re just a bunch of meddling know-it-alls. Why do you want to be with them instead of me?”

Twigpaw could hear the pain in her sister’s anger. She wished she could fix it. She wished she could pretend that her heart lay with SkyClan and stay here with Violetshine and Hawkwing. “I’ll never be happy if I stay here.”

“I don’t care!” Violetshine hissed. “I don’t care if you’re not happy! What about me? Why am I never allowed to be happy?” Her eyes rounded as though she realized what she’d said. Her body shook. She dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I just believed that everything was finally going to be the way I dreamed it would be.”

Twigpaw thrust her muzzle against Violetshine’s. “I will always love you. And Hawkwing. And the time I’ve spent with you will always be a special memory.”

Hawkwing pressed against them, soothing Violetshine with a gentle stroke of his tail. “Twigpaw is right,” he meowed softly. “We will always be kin. We’ll miss Twigpaw, but isn’t it better to know she’s found where she belongs than to live with her knowing she wishes she were somewhere else?”

Violetshine lifted her glistening gaze. “I just wish she wanted to be with us,” she mewed thickly.

Guilt throbbed in Twigpaw’s chest.

Leafstar cleared her throat behind them. “Twigpaw, if you’re not a SkyClan cat,” she mewed, her voice gentle but clear, “perhaps you should return to ThunderClan.” She turned her gaze toward the camp entrance.

Twigpaw stared at the SkyClan leader. Leafstar wouldn’t look back. I’ve disappointed her. “I’ll go,” she mewed. “Thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

Leafstar nodded without looking back and walked away.

Twigpaw touched her nose to Violetshine’s cheek, and then Hawkwing’s. “Take care of each other.”

Hawkwing blinked at her sadly. Violetshine turned away.

Her heart felt like it was breaking as she padded toward the fern entrance. She felt the eyes of her Clanmates on her and heard them murmuring in hushed mews.

“ThunderClan!”

“She was never really happy here.”

“Then why did she come in the first place?”

Would SkyClan ever forgive her?

At the entrance, paw steps sounded behind her. “Twigpaw!” Finpaw caught up to her.

She looked at him, bracing herself for more pain. Saying good-bye to Finpaw would hurt more than unsheathed claws. “I’m sorry,” she began.

“Why?”

“For leaving you,” she mewed. “I will miss you.”

“You don’t have to miss me.” He stared at her steadily.

Was he asking her to stay?

“I’m coming with you.” He lifted his muzzle stubbornly. “And no one can stop me.”

“But this is your Clan!” Twigpaw could hardly believe her ears.

“ThunderClan can be my Clan from now on.”

Did he really mean it? “What about Sandynose and Plumwillow, Reedpaw and Dewpaw?”

“They can manage without me.” Finpaw fluffed out his pelt. “I don’t care if I’m ThunderClan or SkyClan or even ShadowClan. Just as long as I’m with you.”

Twigpaw stared at him, unable to find words. She nodded to him and padded out of camp. Her heart struggled from beneath the weight of grief, and seemed to sing with the birds twittering in the branches overhead as, purring, he followed her.

CHAPTER 23

“Why did she ask us to meet here ?” Alderheart’s breath billowed in the cold night air. He paced the lakeshore, pebbles crunching beneath his paws. This was SkyClan land now, but it still carried the scent of ShadowClan. A few tail-lengths away lay the RiverClan border.

“I don’t know. She said we were to get as close to RiverClan’s shoreline as we could.” Kestrelflight peered over the border. “I guess she’ll tell us when she comes.”

Leafpool had arrived at ThunderClan’s camp that morning, promising she’d be home soon but that first, all the medicine cats must meet beside the lake at moonhigh. Then she’d left, hurrying away to give the same message to WindClan.

Now the waning moon hung in the crow-black sky. Stars glittered over the lake. Alderheart fluffed out his pelt against the chill and glanced at Jayfeather.

It surprised him that the blind medicine cat wasn’t complaining. He sat silently now, blinking into the darkness.

“Are you warm enough?” Alderheart asked.

Jayfeather sniffed. “What does it matter? I’m here and I’m staying whether I’m cold or not.”

Alderheart felt reassured. Jayfeather would always be Jayfeather. Leafpool’s secretiveness had unnerved him. It wasn’t like her. He’d tried to read her gaze while she’d told him about the meeting. But it gave nothing away. Was she planning to break more bad news? Was there worse to come than ShadowClan’s collapse?

One spark of hope had lit the gloom that had hung around Alderheart since the Gathering two nights ago. Twigpaw had arrived at the ThunderClan camp with Finpaw. She’d begged Bramblestar to take them in, and had told him that when she’d followed her kin to SkyClan, she hadn’t realized how deep her loyalty to ThunderClan reached.

Bramblestar hadn’t said yes yet. He was worried about Twigpaw’s fickleness and wasn’t yet sure he trusted Finpaw. According to Bramblestar, the SkyClan tom had left his own Clan too easily. But he had promised to consider their request if they could prove their loyalty, and Alderheart secretly felt sure that his father couldn’t turn them away when they had nowhere left to go.