Margaret Haddix - Among the Betrayed

Reluctantly Nina hauled out her food sack. By daylight it looked ragged and gross. But she was too hungry to care. She pulled an oatmeal bar out for herself and handed the sack on to Matthias. He selected a crumbly biscuit.

"These will go moldy if we don't eat them first," he said, and Nina heard the criticism in his voice, that Nina had picked something else.

Percy and Alia also chose biscuits. The oatmeal stuck in Nina's throat.

"We're going to need water," she mumbled. "I'm so thirsty. Can people die without water?"

It was amazing what she didn't know, what she'd never needed to know before. Being raised by Gran and the aunties — doted over, cosseted, her every need anticipated and met — wasn't exactly good training for surviving in the woods. Harlow School hadn't taught her anything useful, either.

"There's a river up ahead," Percy said.

This time Nina did ask, "How do you know?"

"I can hear it," he answered.

And then Nina heard it, too, a distant hum, barely audible over the chirping of birds and the sound of the wind in the trees. Was that how water sounded?

"Let's go, then," Nina said. She was afraid suddenly that her throat might close over, that she might die of thirst right then and there.

"We have to clean up first," Matthias said.

Nina had her mouth open to ask what he meant — there was dirt everywhere, how did he expect to clean up a woods? But he and Percy and Alia had already gone to work, picking up crumbs, ruffling up the grass they'd slept on and flattened, erasing all signs of their presence.

"How did you know to do that?" Nina asked.

Percy shrugged. "We're not stupid," he answered. Nina heard the words he didn't say: "Not like you."

Nina turned away so no one could see how hurt she was. The others began walking toward the sound of the river, and she followed at a distance, her throat aching.

The hum of the water got louder the closer they got. It was like the buzz of traffic Nina had been able to hear in the summer, when they kept the windows open, at the apartment she'd shared with Gran and the aunties. The sound made Nina strangely homesick.

If Gran could see me now, she thought.

Filthy, ragged, disgusting. Desperate.

Gran used to scrub Nina's whole face if she had so much as a speck of jam by her mouth. No matter how much heating oil cost, Gran insisted on heating Nina's bathwater until Nina felt parboiled every time she bathed. "Kills germs," Gran always said.

The memories stuck in Nina's mind as she fell to her knees before the river and, like the others, scooped water into her hands to drink and drink and drink. When she'd slaked her thirst, she announced to the others, "I'm taking a bath here, too."

They stared at her.

"We're filthy," Nina said. "I haven't had a bath since they arrested me. You guys should wash up, too."

"Do you know how to swim?" Percy asked.

"No," Nina admitted. She stared out across the wide river. Was it deep, too? "I'll stay close to the edge."

She untied the food bag from around her waist and hung it on a branch high over the others' heads. She hoped they wouldn't notice that she didn't trust them. Then she took off her boots and stockings and, still in her dress, eased into the water.

Mud squished between her toes, and she hesitated. Could she get clean, or would the muddy water only make her dirtier? But the water felt cool and wonderful against her skin. She took another step forward, bent down, and scooped water onto her arms, rubbing off the prison grime. She splashed water up against her face and into her hair.

She unbraided her hair and dipped her whole head in. She lifted her feet from the river bottom, and the current car-ried her downstream a little. She put her feet down again.

"Come on in," she urged the others. "It's great!"

She saw Alia glance questioningly back at Matthias. Matthias shrugged. Alia began taking off her heavy boots.

"Look! I'm swimming!" Nina shouted, moving her arms the way she'd seen swimmers do on TV. She lowered her head and felt her hair stream out behind her, floating on the water. She felt happier than she'd felt since she'd been arrested, since she'd found out that Jason had betrayed her, since the hating man had asked her to betray Percy, Matthias, and Alia. Water flowed past her, and the current seemed almost strong enough to carry away all her hurt and anger and suspicions. Behind her, she could hear Alia giggling.

"I'm a fish!" Nina said, and ducked underwater. Her dress weighed her down and the skirt tangled in her legs, but it didn't matter. She floated with the water bugs, then surfaced to let the sun warm her skin again.

"Don't go out too far," Percy warned from the side.

"I'm fine!" Nina yelled back. "It's not over my head. The bottom's right.. right. ." She reached her foot down— and down — and down. No friendly mud touched her toes. The next thing she knew, her head slipped underwater.

She flailed her arms and thrust her head up long enough to gulp in some air. Her clothes felt even heavier now, pulling her down, down, down. The current pushed at her, faster and faster, carrying her away from Percy, Matthias, and Alia. Frantically Nina shoved at the water, trying to fight her way back to the shore.

And then she put her foot down again, and miraculously, there was solid ground there again.

"I'm okay!" Nina called back to the others. "Don't worry!"

She stood still, savoring the feel of mud squishing through her toes — lifesaving mud. Everything had happened so fast, her mind hadn't had time fully to grasp what might have happened, but she could have drowned, fooling around. How silly it would have been, to survive Jason's betrayal, to survive the Population Police's jail, only to die taking a bath.

She looked around, appreciating every safe, wonderful breath she drew into her lungs, every chirp of birdsong she heard in the trees around her. And then her eyes began to register the view in slow motion. It wasn't just trees and river and sky around her. The river had carried her around a bend. Right in front of her was a bridge, a huge, ugly Government-made concrete bridge. And on the bridge, leaning over the edge, were two men in uniform. Two men in uniform, leaning over, opening their mouths, yelling.

Nina seemed to hear their words at a slower than normal speed, too.

"You there! In the river! That's not allowed! Come out and show us your I.D.!"

If only Nina could swim. She wanted to dive back into the water, swim for miles without surfacing once. Escape.

Failing that, she needed to jump out of the water, run through the woods, hope she could disappear into the trees. But the Population Police would only start a manhunt here, comb through the whole area. She didn't have a chance.

All those images — swimming, running, being caught— flashed through Nina's mind in an instant. She even saw Percy and Matthias and Alia being caught with her. It would be all Nina's fault. She had betrayed them after all.

Nina froze in agony. Her mind wouldn't supply a single response she could give to the uniformed men, a single method of buying even a second more to think.

Then she heard Alia's voice behind her.

"Just a minute," the little girl said. "My sister and I left our I.D.'s with our shoes on the shore."

Okay, Nina thought, a part of her mind surprisingly lucid despite her terror.

That gives me an extra minute or two. I should have thought of that. But won't it make the policemen angrier when they discover she's lying?

"Get your I.D.'s, then," one of the men on the bridge growled.

Nina looked back over her shoulder. Alia disappeared around the bend.

It's not fair, Nina thought.