John Nance: 16 Souls

“Not really. I haven’t told you the rest of the story.”

“You were injured?”

“Not physically.” She placed her cup on the table and got up suddenly, walking to the bay window and staring at nothing.

“Psychologically you mean?” he said, cringing at the ‘captain obvious’ question.

She stood there in silence for an uncomfortable beat before nodding, slowly, her eyes on a distant, ghostly memory.

“I… will never be able to un-see it… what I went through… or forget the captain on the PA explaining the choice he had to make. It was beyond surreal.”

“I can imagine,” he replied prompting her to turn.

“No, you can’t,” she said, an edge in her voice that did not invite challenge.

“But, you’ll recover with time, right?”

Her eyes went down to the carpet and she stood motionless for what seemed a very long time before meeting his gaze again, shaking her head slowly.

“No.”

Boulder, Colorado–August 14 th, 6:00 pm

The four lane leading from Broomfield to Boulder was nearly at a standstill, the GPS reporting an accident miles ahead. Judith quietly chafed at the delay as she reviewed the irritating sequence that had delivered Marty Mitchell to her legal care in the first place.

She recalled clearly closing the door to her designer-wrought office that day three months ago and pacing around irately, grateful there were no inside windows to broadcast her agitation to the three other lawyers who shared the downtown Boulder office.

A glance at the elaborate brass wall clock had confirmed she had a half hour before the client she did not want to represent walked in. If he was anywhere near as uncooperative and distant as he’d been on their only phone call, this was going to be a struggle.

Whatever aggravation she felt paled, however, in comparison to the combination of embarrassment and upset over the judicial clash that had made a mistake on her part far worse. Never in her years as a lawyer had she crossed swords so directly — or been insulted so thoroughly — by a sitting judge. The raw memory of dealing with Judge Gonzales came back in high definition clarity, churning her stomach with a toxic cocktail of mortification along with an unmistakable whiff of victimization.

Her supreme effort to maintain lawyerly restraint had failed. She’d expected a quick explanation to the judge would spring her from her obviously misguided acceptance of what had turned out to be a major criminal defense case, an assignment to a corporate lawyer cynically engineered by her firm’s senior partner. But Judge Gonzales, it seemed, had for some reason developed an affinity for the idea of a big corporate lawyer playing defense counsel, and had decided not to release her. Originally, Judith had asked the district attorney to join her in a hearing in Gonzales’ chambers, explaining that she wanted off the case. But when Grant Richardson had refused, she requested an ex parte hearing anyway, and was surprised when the judge granted the request. Now a rising tide of panic was building as Judith realized the judge was actually enjoying her discomfort, and worse, was absolutely delighted at the prospect that the poised and polished female attorney before him might actually lose control. Within the calculating side of her mind she knew an explosion would play right into his hands, but uncharacteristically the emotional side had seized control.

“Judge Gonzalez,” Judith had begun, her words metered through gritted teeth.

He cut her off, his voice dripping with feigned concern.

“You have something more to say, Counselor?” The bushy eyebrows arched up in false surprise. “I was very appreciative that you offered your services as a pro bono lawyer, and I accepted, and I do not see any reasonable grounds for releasing you from this obligation.”

“I and my firm made a mistake, sir! I should never have volunteered.”

“So, why did you?”

“Because my senior partner thought it was the appropriate thing to do and I really didn’t understand the scope of this criminal case.”

“Well, now you do. And I need you.”

“Judge, I’m not competent to try a criminal case!”

“Colorado does not agree with you. You passed the same bar exam as all the criminal defense attorneys in the state, and you raised your right hand and took the lawyer’s oath, right?”

“Yes, of course… but I’m trained primarily in corporate law.”

“And in Colorado, a lawyer is a lawyer and every one of us is expected to either have the expertise, or be able to study and acquire the expertise. No, you volunteered and I am not letting you off the hook.”

“I can’t do this, Your Honor.”

“Are we having a failure to communicate? Or didn’t they teach you about your pro bono responsibilities for this sort of thing at Yale Law?”

She forced herself to ignore the reverse snobbery. “This… this is a murder case!”

“Yes. I believe we’ve established that. Is there some point you’re trying to get to? I’m a busy man.”

Judith took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the overstuffed contents of the judge’s office. The thought of insulting this condescending toad was almost seductive, but she dismissed it. Having her defend a crazy airline captain who’d made a stupid decision that resulted in a loss of life would have been bad enough, but running it up into a criminal charge of second degree murder and expecting her to defend him — she was in no way competent to try such a case. Conviction would be a foregone conclusion. And that without even considering the massive disruption in her corporate practice. Her partners would be furious. Her other partners, she reminded herself.

“Judge,” she began again, only slightly more controlled. “You’re charged by state law with trying to assist the accused, not condemn him! Your DA is trying to convict this airline captain of second degree murder and send him away for a very long time.”

“That’s right, but it’s only second degree, counselor. You needn’t worry about the death penalty.”

“Your honor, please…”

“Okay, hold it! This defendant is wobbling close to the precipice of diminished capacity. He’s fired or refused every lawyer his pilot union buddies have hired, and while the law says he can do so, the self-destructive nature of this is something I can’t ignore. I’ve already allowed two dismissals of counsel, and agreed that since his airline has him on unpaid suspension, he’s indigent, and lo and behold I ask for a pro bono lawyer and I get one of the best. What better solution could there be than to have the best from Walters, Wilson, and Crandall, PC, ask for the job? How could anyone object to having an AV rated lawyer like you?” His tone was unctuous, as if he had no idea why she was objecting. “After all, you were a prosecutor in Denver once. Correct?”

“A long, long time ago for less than six months! And I was assigned to white collar crime. I never handled anything big like murder.”

He’s obscenely enjoying this ! she thought, powerless to stop the play. She was sliding inexorably, helplessly into his trap.

“Goddammit, Judge!”

“Watch your tongue, Counselor.”

“I say again, regardless of the legal theory that we’re all competent to represent anyone for anything, you know I’m not even remotely qualified to defend this case. For God’s sake, I probably couldn’t even defend myself on a traffic ticket! I’m a corporate lawyer, and not even a regular litigator in civil practice, and you… you… want to inflict me on this man as some sort of ridiculous farce of a public defender?”