Ken McClure: Hypocrite's Isle

The cold air made him wince as, in his drink-befuddled state, he set off in pursuit of Caroline to beg forgiveness. He called out her name every few yards. ‘Carrie, I’m so sorry... please believe me...’

He finally came to a halt when, after a few minutes, he rounded a corner where he could see the road for more than two hundred yards ahead. Caroline was nowhere to be seen. ‘Shit,’ he murmured, finally conceding defeat. He turned slowly to start heading back. He had only gone a few yards when he was confronted by three youths who had emerged silently from the alley they had been standing in.

‘Student tosser,’ said one, flicking his cigarette butt across Gavin’s path.

‘Always moanin’ about their grants. Never enough for the buggers. Look at him, pissed as a newt. These bastards are having a laugh.’

Gavin stepped off the pavement to pass them by, but one of them elbowed him in the side. ‘Is that right, fucker? You havin’ a laugh at us?’

Gavin tried to continue on his way but was tripped from behind and a foot thudded into his body as he tried to get up. ‘Bastard!’ he gasped.

Seizing on any excuse he sensed might afford him the moral high-ground, one of the yobs grabbed Gavin. ‘What did you fuckin’ call me?’

Gavin tried to focus on the hate-filled face but could make out little more than acne and gritted teeth. ‘Oh, fuck off...’

Kick after kick rained in on Gavin, until a bad day ended in a pool of his own vomit and merciful unconsciousness. He awoke at three in the morning in A&E.

‘Welcome back,’ said a voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

‘I know you...’

‘Simon Young, Mary’s boyfriend,’ said the voice. ‘You’re in hospital.’

Gavin blinked against the light with his right eye. He couldn’t open his left. He eventually recognised the tall, fair-haired man he had met in the postgrad union. ‘How are you doing?’

Young smiled at the enquiry. ‘I’m fine. I won’t ask how you ’re doing: I know. I’ve just spent the last half hour examining you. I’m glad I didn’t offend the guy who did this to you. You obviously upset him big time...’

‘There were three of them. I got pissed; I got mugged,’ mumbled Gavin. ‘Shit happens. What’s the damage?’

‘Three broken ribs and a face your girlfriend might struggle to recognise for a few days.’

‘Don’t have a girlfriend any more...’

‘This wasn’t over a girl, was it?’

‘No, some locals decided to express their doubts about the value of higher education.’

‘Student bashing? Happens a lot.’

‘Good to know...’

‘Your being pissed didn’t help...’

‘We’ll have to disagree about that,’ said Gavin, attempting to sit up. ‘Where are my clothes?’

‘You’re in no fit state to go anywhere.’

Gavin let out an involuntary gasp. ‘You may be right...’ he agreed, putting his hands to his head as pain seemed to hit him from all directions.

‘Just lie back down, get some sleep, old son,’ soothed Young. ‘Tomorrow is another day.’

Gavin appeared in the lab at three the following afternoon. To a large extent, what had happened had wiped out the fact that he had gone off in a huff after discovering that his cell cultures were contaminated. All people wanted to talk about were his injuries and what had happened.

‘Ye gods,’ murmured Mary when she saw him. ‘Simon said you’d taken a bit of a beating...’

Gavin found it hard to adopt any facial expression at all, the left side of his face had swollen so much. It also kept his left eye closed.

‘You should be home in bed.’

‘I have to talk to the girls in the cell culture suite. Humble pie, remember? My favourite, yum yum.’

‘I’d put a paper bag over my head first,’ said Tom. ‘You might scare them.’

‘Fine... if you’ll put a plastic one over yours.’

‘Boys, boys,’ soothed Mary, walking over to the incubator and bringing out three cell culture bottles. ‘Actually, I asked around yesterday and the Macmillan group had some going spare. They say you can use these if you like.’

Gavin seemed speechless for a moment, then he said, ‘That’s great. I don’t know what to say...’

‘I think I’d go with “thank you very much” if I were you,’ said Tom.

‘Yeah... yeah... thanks a million, Mary. That was really kind.’

‘No, Gavin,’ said Mary, handing over the bottles. ‘It was really normal behaviour round here. Try to get your head round that. Incidentally, I put your Valdevan solution in the fridge. You left it lying out on the bench.’

Gavin accepted the rebuke with a grimace and gave a nod of thanks. ‘Thanks again... I guess this means I can set up the experiment right now.’

‘I guess it does,’ said Mary. ‘If you think your aseptic technique is good enough, that is...’

‘You don’t think it is?’

‘If you’re depending on what you learned in undergraduate classes and from what you’ve read in books, probably not.’

Gavin took a deep breath and let it out slowly. ‘Would you consider showing me?’

‘Get your stuff together.’

They moved over to the corner of the lab where a bench was kept for ‘clean manipulation’. Mary collected a variety of instruments and placed them in a glass beaker which she filled a third full with pure alcohol. She lit a Bunsen burner. ‘Flame everything,’ she said. ‘Every time you remove a cap from a bottle, flame the neck to keep it sterile. Every time you use an instrument, take it from the beaker and pass it through the flame so that the burning alcohol sterilises it. After a while it’ll become second nature.’

Mary took a pair of surgical gloves from the dispenser and put them on before picking up an automatic pipette. ‘How much drug do you want to add to the first one?’ she asked.

‘0.5 mils.’

Gavin watched as Mary set the volume and expertly carried out the procedure. She made sure that she did it slowly enough for him to take in every step. ‘Okay?’

‘I think so.’

Mary did another two before asking, ‘Want to try?’

‘Sure,’ said Gavin.

Mary gave up her seat to Gavin, who sat down and carried out the same procedure but using a different amount of the drug. He did so with a deal less fluidity than Mary, but then he had to think about everything he did.

‘Great,’ said Mary. ‘One more and we’re through.’

Gavin went through the inoculating procedure once more. This time he was a bit clumsy with the automatic pipette and touched the tip against the bench. He was about to continue when Mary said, ‘Bin it.’

Gavin discarded the tip, using the ejector mechanism, and fitted a new one.

‘Never take chances,’ said Mary. ‘Regard all surfaces as contaminated.’

Gavin finished and carried the culture bottles carefully to the incubator where he placed them on the tilt mechanism, making sure they were seated properly before clicking the door shut and feeling himself relax. He hadn’t realised he’d been so tense.

‘Okay?’

Gavin attempted a smile, but the pain it brought ensured it was short-lived. ‘Thanks, Mary, thanks a lot.’

‘You’re welcome. Maybe you should go home now and rest up?’

Gavin nodded. ‘I’d better just touch base with Frank first.’

Gavin knocked on Frank Simmons’ door.

Simmons frowned when he saw Gavin’s face. ‘God, that looks painful.’

‘Looks worse than it is.’

‘Sit down. Tell me about it.’

‘Not much to tell really. I had a bad day, drank a bit too much and got a bit of a kickin’ from three locals who figured I was pissin’ their hard-earned taxes against the wall.’

‘You seem to be taking it very well,’ said Simmons, impressed at the way Gavin was seeking to play down such a bad experience.