Ken McClure - Hypocrite's Isle

Sutcliffe moved from irritation to exasperation. ‘Look,’ he snapped. ‘It’s early days to worry about things like that. Are we or are we not in favour of making a block grant application to Grumman Schalk? That’s what we have to decide today. Competition is bound to be fierce. I know that Gerald Montague certainly intends to apply.’

The murmurs in the room seemed positive. Sutcliffe struck while the iron was hot. ‘I need hardly point out that this would mean a considerable expansion of our department — certainly to a size where I think we could accommodate the creation of two more personal chairs...’

‘Nice move,’ thought Simmons. ‘Money and personal advancement on offer.’ He decided not to swim against the tide. It was unanimously decided to try for a block grant.

‘Good, I’ll formulate a first draft over the break and you can let me know your thoughts when you get back. It only remains for me to wish you all a very Happy Christmas and continued success in the New Year.’

Frank Simmons found Gavin’s note stuck to his door. ‘Ding dong,’ he murmured, although his thoughts moved on quickly from ‘Merrily on high’ to ‘Pussy’s in the well’...

As it happened, Christmas Day passed without incident at the Simmons’ house. Gavin turned up bearing books for the children and a bottle of Glayva liqueur for Frank and Jenny. He made a point of being careful over what he drank — sticking strictly to beer — and no reference at all was made to the events of his previous visit. Jenny’s elderly parents, Tom and Matilda, were there, as was Frank’s widowed father, Patrick, who had recently suffered a stroke and was showing frustration at not being able to express himself properly, nodding vigorously when someone filled in the blanks correctly, but shaking his head and slapping the arm of his chair when they got it wrong. There had been little opportunity to talk science — something that suited Gavin more than it did Frank, who kept looking for opportunities to question him about what he was doing in the lab. He finally succeeded when he found Gavin alone in the kitchen after gathering in empty glasses.

‘So what are you up to in the lab?’

‘Oh, you know, just trying out a few things: getting used to working with cell cultures on a regular basis...’

‘With a view to starting the biochemistry of S23 cells, yes?’

‘Actually... no,’ confessed Gavin, stopping what he was doing and staring straight ahead at the wall in front of him. ‘I thought I might try out one or two other things first... in my own time, so to speak.’

‘Valdevan,’ sighed Simmons. ‘It’s Christmas Day, Gavin, and I’ve no wish for us to fall out. But come the first day of the new term, I want to see you start work on the biochemistry of S23 cells. Understood?’

‘Sure, Frank.’

Simmons put his arm round Gavin’s shoulders. ‘Fancy a whisky?’

‘Maybe just a beer,’ smiled Gavin.

‘Let’s join the others.’

Gavin got home just after seven and called Caroline.

‘How’s the cat?’ she asked.

‘Alive and well. Everything was fine. I’ve been on my best behaviour all day but now I’m going to get guttered — Christ, I never knew behaving yourself could be so stressful. How was your day?’

‘A nightmare of long silences and remembrances of times past. I didn’t know cutlery could sound so loud on china. The sun came out for a little while this afternoon after we’d finished eating, so I took myself off for a walk in the woods.’

‘And your mum?’

‘She’s started chemo and radiation therapy so she’s very tired. She keeps trying to challenge fate by declaring that it’s against her better judgement this time. How’s the science been going?’

‘Pretty good. I expect to get some results tomorrow from the primary cell lines I treated with Valdevan. Everything has been going smoothly, except for the fact that I had to tell Frank I wasn’t working on the biochemistry.’

‘Shit,’ said Caroline. ‘How did that go down?’

‘I guess he wasn’t best pleased, but he didn’t hit the roof or anything, and I am working in my own time...’

‘But you’re using up his resources,’ countered Caroline.

‘Yeah, I know, and he’s been really good about it. On the other hand, he made it clear he wants me to start work on the biochemistry come the new term or I’m in deep shit.’

‘Quite right too.’

‘I could do with a little more support here.’

‘We’ve been through all that.’

‘Yeah, we have,’ conceded Gavin. ‘So what lies ahead for you?’

‘An evening of Christmas telly stretches out before me like an ordeal by mirth,’ said Caroline.

‘Maybe it will take everyone’s mind off things,’ said Gavin.

‘I’ll feel guilty if I laugh.’

After a long pause Gavin said, ‘Call you tomorrow?’

‘Sure.’

Boxing Day was a landmark day in the lab for Gavin. Wearing two sweaters and a scarf against the cold and sitting at the inverted microscope, he got a nice clear answer to his question. Valdevan did affect normal cells. He could see distinct changes, and the typical membrane pinching that was now so familiar to him. But this, of course, was another conundrum.

After forty minutes of making absolutely sure, he rubbed his eyes and put his hands behind his head while he thought about his findings. Valdevan killed tumour cells in test tubes but not in the human body — although it caused membrane damage in both. It caused pinching but not death in healthy cells in test tubes, but had no effect at all on healthy cells in the body. Just what the hell was going on? What was the difference?

Gavin got up from the microscope and fetched a sterile glass beaker from the glassware cupboard. He filled it with cold tap water and placed it on a bench tripod before lighting a Bunsen burner below and adjusting the flame. Walking back to his desk, he brought out a small carton of tea bags he kept in the drawer and placed one in his Liverpool FC mug — noting that it could do with a clean: the mug was red but the inside was dark brown with tannin and coffee residue. But that was something that could wait for another day. Instead, he walked over to the window and looked out while he waited for the water to boil. There was very little traffic about, and he guessed that the cars that did pass by contained families on the way to visit relatives. Your folks Christmas Day, mine Boxing Day.

The water in the beaker started to bubble so he turned off the Bunsen and used an oven glove to lift it off and hold it while he filled his mug. He took a sip and gave a sigh of satisfaction which sounded unnaturally loud in his surroundings. Although it was cold in the lab — the heating had now been off for several days — it wasn’t so much the temperature that was getting to him as the quietness. All the usual background sounds of heating and ventilation in the building were missing — it took their absence to make him notice — but other sounds were now more apparent. The on/off click of thermostats on incubators and water baths, the compressors on fridges and freezers cycling on and off as they kept their precious contents at steady temperature, unexplained creaks and moans from an old building. It started to rain as he drank his tea. The patter drew him back to the window. The glass had obviously not been cleaned in a long time; the rivulets followed a tortuous course down the tall panes, inviting parallels with life.

Gavin turned away. Maybe if he were to set up two cultures side by side — one tumour cells and the other normal, healthy cells — and added Valdevan to both at exactly the same time, he might be able to compare differences as and when they happened. He returned to the bench. This was what he’d do. He got out the necessary sterile glassware and checked the cultures he had available in the incubator. The tumour cells looked as if they needed diluting, so he fetched what he noted was the last bottle of tissue culture medium from the fridge. He sat it on the bench while he put on surgical gloves. As he did so, he noticed a slight tear in one of the gloves and made to strip it off. The tightness of the fit and the sudden movement of his arm when the glove finally gave way caused his elbow to hit the bottle of tissue culture medium and send it crashing to the floor, where it shattered and left him looking down at a spreading red puddle round his feet.