Stuart Woods - Family Jewels

“Sounds like fun.”

“Do you remember what that smells like?”

“All too well.”

“We were having a very nice lobster salad at lunch next door when the wind shifted and ruined our appetites. I took a look around and called nine-one-one. The rest is everybody just certifying the obvious.”

“You want to have dinner tonight? Seven-thirty at Patroon?”

“Sure. Can I bring my new roommate, Bob? It would hurt his feelings if I didn’t ask him.”

“You have a new roommate, and she’s named Bob ?”

“He.”

Dino was uncharacteristically silent.

“See you at seven-thirty. Bob is looking forward to meeting you.” Stone hung up, laughing.

—

Stone and Bob arrived at Patroon on time and were greeted by the owner, Ken Aretzky. Bob offered him a paw.

“You are pet-friendly, aren’t you, Ken?” Stone asked.

“I don’t know,” Ken said, shaking the paw, “it never came up.” Ken showed him to a booth, and seated Bob under the table. Stone ordered a drink.

“Anything for Bob?”

“He’s on the wagon — he made a fool of himself last time.”

Stone’s drink arrived, followed shortly by Dino and his wife, Vivian. “Okay, where’s this Bob?”

“Under the table — he never could hold his liquor.”

Dino jumped. “He still can’t, he just licked my hand.”

Viv peeked under the tablecloth. “Hello, Bob,” she said. “He licked my hand, too.”

“It’s the friendly thing to do.”

“How did you and Bob come to meet?” Dino asked.

“We met in the Hamptons last weekend, and he hitched a ride to the city with me.”

“You were never the dog type.”

“That’s because I was denied that pleasure as a child. My mother was allergic, or at least said she was.”

“That’s a good excuse for not letting you have a dog,” Viv said.

“That’s what I suspected. Anyway, my custody is only temporary. Bob is going back to his mom in a couple of weeks.”

“Awwww,” Viv said. “And he’s so nice.”

A waiter appeared with a T-bone on a silver platter, and Bob accepted it with alacrity.

“I’ll bet that’s the first time anybody has ever been served a bone in this joint,” Dino said.

“No doubt.” Dino’s and Viv’s drinks arrived.

“Dino tells me you were caught with a dead woman last weekend,” Viv said.

“I’ll bet he did,” Stone replied. “He’s having a good time with that one.”

“Tell me the whole story.”

Stone gave her a rapid-fire account.

“You lead such an interesting life,” Viv said.

“I do, don’t I?”

“Glad you’re not married to him?” Dino asked.

“Fairly glad. You lead an interesting life, too.”

“I ran a check on this Harvey Biggers,” Dino said.

“And?”

“He got busted on a domestic disturbance last year.”

“With Carrie Fiske?”

“That was the name.”

“Is it policy to always arrest the husband in these things?”

“Not exactly, but if the wife makes the call, it often works out that way.”

“Did either of them have any marks or bruises?”

“I didn’t read that far.”

“Anything else on the Biggers sheet?”

“Yeah, the year before last he called nine-one-one from a motel in West Palm Beach — a woman in his bed, unresponsive.”

Stone stared at Dino. “Oh, shit.”

“My reaction exactly,” Dino said.

“Why didn’t the East Hampton cops come up with that?”

“Beats me — maybe they searched the wrong databases.”

“Hang on.” Stone got out his cell phone and called Carrie Fiske. The call went directly to voice mail. “Hello, Carrie, this is Stone. I’ve just gotten some new information about Harvey. I don’t know where you are, but it’s imperative that you stay as far away from him as possible. If he turns up, call the police and accuse him of stalking you. Call me back at your earliest opportunity.” He hung up. “I’m back.”

“Your client?” Dino asked.

“My client’s voice mail.”

“Where is she?”

“Out of town. I don’t know where.”

“Where is Harvey Biggers?”

“He must be in New York. Sergeant D’Orio said he talked to him today. I’d better call the East Hampton cops. What is that chief’s name again?”

“I’ve already called him,” Dino said. “Got him before he left the city, so they’re either talking to him right now or looking for him.”

“Biggers came to see me, you know.”

“But you’re representing his wife.”

“I put Fred on bodyguard duty with Carrie Fiske. Biggers showed up and tried to get at her, ignoring Fred. Fred broke his nose, and a couple of cops sent him to the hospital. He was packing, too, according to Fred, but he didn’t get busted for that. He must have a permit.”

Dino got out his cell phone and made a call, then hung up. “He does. I just canceled it, so if he gets picked up again, they’ll hold him. Why did he come to see you?”

“To convince me that he was about to be killed by Carrie.”

“That’s weird.”

“Yeah, he almost convinced me. Now I have lingering doubts to dismiss.”

They ordered dinner, then Stone tried again to reach Carrie, with the same result.

“You’re looking worried,” Viv said.

“That’s because I don’t know where she is, and I don’t know where Harvey is, either.”

“I’ll call Ferris,” Dino said. He listened, left a message, and hung up. “He’ll call when he gets the message.”

“Well,” Viv said, “at least we know she’s not in New York, where Harvey was last sighted.”

“No, we don’t know that. She may have told me that to keep me from returning Bob.”

“Why would you want to return Bob? He’s lovely!”

“This was sort of a practical joke. She left for the city and left Bob in my car with a note, saying she’d be away for a couple of weeks.”

“And how does Bob feel about that?”

“Perfectly fine, as far as I know. You can ask him, he’s under the table.”

Viv lifted the tablecloth and checked. “He’s occupied with a T-bone and doesn’t wish to be disturbed.”

Dinner came and they ate, but everybody was preoccupied now.

Dino’s phone rang. “Bacchetti. Yeah, Don. Have you got eyes on Harvey Biggers? Well, I dug back a couple of years and found that he called nine-one-one in West Palm and reported an unresponsive woman in his bed, who was DOA. Yeah, I thought that was interesting, too. I’m with Stone Barrington, and Biggers’s ex-wife is his client. He’s worried about her, and he can’t find her. Is that enough for you to take Biggers back to East Hampton for a while? I see. Will you add carrying a concealed weapon without a permit to the charges? That should be enough to pick him up. No, he had a permit — I canceled it. Keep me posted, will you? And let me know if you need assistance from my people.” Dino hung up. “They last saw him at home, so they’ll knock on his door again.”

“I’d really like to have him off the street,” Stone said.

“Is East Hampton far enough away? That’s where they’ll take him for questioning, if he’s still there.”

“That’ll do for the time being.”

Dino’s phone went off. “Bacchetti. Yeah, Don. We’ll handle it. Give me an address. Ten minutes, tops.” He broke off the call and pressed a speed dial number. “This is Bacchetti. I want a man picked up, one Harvey Biggers.” He gave the address. “Hold him on a charge of carrying a concealed weapon without a permit. He had one, I canceled it. Get back to me.” He hung up. “Biggers didn’t answer his door, but he should be in the bag shortly, then you can relax and have dessert.”