Noah Hawley - Before the Fall

James made a note to check the HGS system before takeoff. If he could he would talk to flight crews coming off inbound flights to get an anecdotal sense of conditions in the air, though things can change quickly at altitude, and pockets of turbulence move around.

He sipped a cup of Irish breakfast tea as he waited — he carried foil packets in his carry-on. Lifting the cup to his lips, he saw a drop of blood break the surface, creating ripples. Then another. His lip felt wet.

“Shit.”

James hurried to the men’s room, napkin to his face, head tilted back. He’d been getting nosebleeds recently, maybe twice a week. The doctor he saw told him it was the altitude. Dry capillaries plus pressure. He’d ruined more than one uniform in the last few months. At first, he’d been worried, but when no other symptoms arrived Melody chalked it up to age. He’d be fifty-one next March. Halfway there, he thought.

In the bathroom, he put pressure on his nose until the bleeding stopped, then cleaned himself up. He was lucky this time. There was no blood on his shirt or jacket, and James was back in the lounge drinking a fresh cup of tea before his seat was cold.

At five thirty p.m. he gathered his things and walked out to meet the plane.

The fact was, nothing ended on August 9, 1974, except the presidency of Richard M. Nixon.

* * *

He started his pre-flight check in the cockpit, running through the systems one by one. He checked the paperwork first — he’d always been a stickler for precision of detail. He checked the movement of the yoke, listening for any unusual sounds, eyes closed, feeling for any catches or chinks. The starboard motion felt a little sticky, so he contacted maintenance to take a look. Then he switched on the master and checked fuel levels, setting full flaps.

“Just, uh, give me a minute,” he said and went out again.

Instrument check complete, James climbed down the gangway steps and walked the perimeter of the plane, doing a visual inspection. Though it was a warm summer night, he checked for any ice that might have accumulated on the exterior. He looked for missing antennas, for dents, loose bolts, missing rivets, making sure the plane’s lights were all fully functional. He found some bird droppings on the wing, removed them by hand, then assessed the way the plane sat on its wheels — a leftward lean would mean the air in the rear port tire was low — inspecting the trailing edges of the wings and eyeballing the engines. He used both his rational left brain, running down a mental checklist, and his instinctual right brain, open to the sense that something felt off about the plane. But nothing did.

Back in the cabin, he conferred with the mechanic, who told him the altitude system checked out. He chatted with the flight attendant, Emma Lightner, with whom he hadn’t worked before. As seemed to be the case on these private flights, she was prettier than was reasonable for such a basic and menial job, but he knew it paid well and the girls got to see the world. He helped her stow some heavier bags. She smiled at him in a way he recognized as friendly, but not flirtatious. And yet her beauty in and of itself felt like gravity — as if nature had designed this woman to pull men to her, and so that’s what she did, whether she wanted to or not.

“Just a quick one tonight,” he told her. “Should have you back in the city by eleven. Where are you based?”

“New York,” she said. “I’ve got a place in the Village with two other girls. I think they’re gone now, though — South Africa, maybe.”

“Well, straight to bed for me,” said James. “I was in LA this morning. Asia yesterday.”

“They sure move us around, don’t they?”

He smiled. She couldn’t be more than twenty-five. For a moment he thought of the kind of men she must date. Quarterbacks and rock musicians — was that still a thing? Rock music? He himself was mostly celibate. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the company of women. It was more that he couldn’t stand the complications of it, the immediate sense of obligation, the expectation of complete intermingling. He was a man who lived out of a suitcase at fifty. He liked things the way he liked them. His tea, his books. He liked going to the movies in foreign lands, watching modern American films with subtitles in baroque old-world theaters. He liked walking cobblestone streets, listening to people argue in tongues. He loved the hot rush of desert air when one walked the gangway down onto Muslim soil. Yemen, the UAE. He had flown over the Alps at sunset, had battled thunderstorms over the Balkans. In James’s mind he was a satellite, graceful and self-sufficient, orbiting the earth, fulfilling its designated purpose without question.

“We were supposed to have Gaston on the other stick,” said James. “You know Peter?”

“Yes, he’s lovely.”

“Too bad.”

She smiled, showing teeth, and it was enough. To make a beautiful woman smile, to feel the warmth of her attention. He went into the cockpit and ran through the systems again, checking maintenance’s work.

“Ten minutes,” he called out.

As he rechecked the systems he felt the plane shift. That will be my copilot coming back , he thought. According to the roster, his wingman today was Peter Gaston, an idiosyncratic Belgian who liked to talk philosophy on long flights. James always enjoyed their conversations, especially when they delved into areas between science and ideology. He waited for him to enter the cockpit. But instead of coming forward, James heard whispering from the main cabin, and then something that sounded like a slap. He stood at the sound, frowning, and was almost to the cockpit door when a different man came in holding his left cheek.

“Sorry,” he said, “I got held up in the office.”

Melody recognized him — a glassy-eyed kid perhaps in his twenties, his tie askew — Charlie something. He’d flown with him once before and though technically the kid performed well, James frowned.

“What happened to Gaston?” he said.

“You got me,” said Charlie. “Stomach thing, I think. All I know is I got a call.”

James was annoyed, but he wasn’t about to show it, so he shrugged. It was the front office’s problem.

“Well, you’re late. I called maintenance about some stickiness in the yoke.”

The kid shrugged, rubbed his cheek.

James could see Emma behind him. She’d retreated into the main cabin and was smoothing the linens on the headrests.

“Everything okay out here?” James asked, more to her than the kid.

She smiled at him in a far-off way, keeping her eyes down. He looked at Charlie.

“All good, Captain,” said Charlie. “Just singing a song I shouldn’t have been singing.”

“Well, I don’t know what that means, but I don’t tolerate funny business on my bird. Do I need to call the front office, get another man?”

“No, sir. No funny business. Just here to get the job done. Nothing else.”

James studied him. The kid held his eyes. A rogue of sorts, he decided. Not dangerous, just used to getting his way. He was handsome in a crooked sort of fashion, with a Texas twang. Loose . That’s how James would describe him. Not a planner. More of a go with the flow sort. And James was okay with that, in principle. He could be flexible when it came to staff. As long as they did what they were told. The kid needed discipline was all, and James would give it to him.

“Okay then, take your seat and get on with control. I want to be wheels-up in five. We’ve got a schedule to keep.”

“Yessir,” said Charlie with an unreadable grin, and got to work.

And then the first passengers came aboard, the client and his family — plane shifting as they climbed the gangway — and James made himself available for conversation. He always liked to meet the souls he flew, to shake hands and put faces to names. It made the work more meaningful, especially when there were children. He was captain of this ship, after all, responsible for all lives. It didn’t feel like servitude. It felt like a privilege. Only in the modern world did people believe that they should be the ones receiving. But James was a giver. He didn’t know what to do when people tried to pamper him. If he caught a seat on a commercial flight, he always found himself getting up to help the flight attendants stow baggage or grabbing blankets for pregnant passengers. Someone had once said to him, It’s hard to be sad when you’re being useful . And he liked that idea. That service to others brought happiness. It was self-involvement that led to depression, to spiraling questions about the meaning of things. This had always been his mother’s problem. She thought too much of herself, and not enough of others.