Блейк Пирс - If She Knew

Several moments later, Jim Meade made his way into the kitchen. “You don’t have to do that,” he said.

Kate turned to him and saw that he looked tired and impossibly sad. “I know,” she said. “I came by to show my support. It seemed like things were pretty heavy in the living room when I came in, so I’m supporting you guys by washing dishes.”

He nodded, looking like he might nod off right then and there. “One of our friends said she saw a woman come in a few minutes ago. I’m rather glad it’s you, Kate.”

Kate saw another person coming toward the kitchen behind him, looking equally tired and heartbroken. Deb Meade’s eyes were puffy and red from crying. Her hair was in disarray and when she looked at Kate to try on a smile, it seemed to fall right off of her face.

Kate put down the dish she was washing, quickly dried her hands on a hand towel by the sink, and went to her friend. Kate had never been much for physical touch but knew when a hug was needed. She expected Deb to start weeping in the midst of the hug but there was nothing, just her sagging weight.

She’s probably all cried out for now, Kate thought.

“I only just heard this morning,” Kate said. “I’m so sorry, Deb. Both of you,” she said, casting her eyes to Jim.

Jim nodded his appreciation and then looked down the hall. When he saw that no one else was lurking there, the slight murmur of their company still in the living room, he stepped closer to Kate as Deb broke the hug.

“Kate, we need to ask you something,” Jim said in a near-whisper.

“And please,” Deb said, taking her hand. “Let us get it all out before you shoot us down.” Kate felt a little tremble in Deb’s grip and her heart broke a little.

“Sure,” Kate said. Their pleading eyes and the overall weight of their sorrow hung over her head like an anvil that was sure to drop at any moment.

“The police have absolutely no idea who did it,” Deb said. Suddenly, her exhaustion morphed into something that looked closer to anger. “Based on some things we said and some texts they found on Julie’s phone, the police arrested her ex-boyfriend right away. But they held him for less than three hours and then let him go. Just like that. But Kate…I know he did it. It has to be him.”

Kate had seen this approach multiple times before during her time as an agent. Grieving families wanted justice right away. They’d look past logic and a sound investigation to make sure some sort of vengeance was taken out as soon as possible. And if those results weren’t speedy, the grieving family assumed incompetence on the part of the police or FBI.

“Deb…if they released him so quickly, there must have been some very strong evidence. After all…how long has it been since they dated?”

“Thirteen years. But he kept trying to connect with her for years, even after she was married. She had to get a restraining order at one time.”

“Still…the police had to have a good alibi for him to have released him so quickly.”

“Well, if there was, they aren’t telling me about it,” Deb said.

“Deb…look,” Kate said, giving Deb’s hand a comforting squeeze. “The loss is too recent. Give it a few days and you’ll start to think rationally. I’ve seen it a hundred times.”

Deb shook her head. “I’m certain of it, Kate. They dated for three years and not once did I trust him. We’re pretty sure he hit her at least on two occasions but Julie never came out and said it. He had a temper. Even he’d tell you that.”

“I’m sure the police are—”

“That’s our favor,” Deb interrupted. “I want you to look into it. I want you to get involved in the case.”

“Deb, I’m retired. You know this.”

“I do. And I also know how much you miss it. Kate…the man that killed my daughter got nothing more than a little scare and some time in an interrogation room. And now he’s at home, sitting comfortably while I have to plan to put my daughter in the ground. It’s not right, Kate. Please…will you look into it? I know you can’t do it on an official basis but…anything you can do. I’d appreciate it.”

There was so much heartache in Deb’s eyes that Kate could feel it passing between them. Everything within her was telling her to stand firm—to not allow any false hope to enter into Deb’s grief. But at the same time, Deb was right. She had missed her work. And even if what was being proposed was just a few basic phone calls to the Richmond PD or even to her former co-workers at the bureau, it would be something.

It would certainly be better than obsessively reflecting back on her career with lonely trips out to the gun range.

“Here’s what I can do,” Kate said. “When I retired, I lost all of my pull. Sure, I get calls for my opinion here and there, but I have no authority. More than that, this case would be completely outside of my jurisdiction even if I were still active. But I will make a few calls to my old contacts and make sure the evidence they found to free him was strong. Honestly, Deb, that’s the best I can do.”

The gratitude was evident in both Deb and Jim right away. Deb hugged her again and this time, she did weep. “Thank you.”

“It’s not a problem,” Kate said. “But I really can’t promise anything.”

“We know,” Jim said. “But at least now we know that someone competent is watching out for us.”

Kate wasn’t comfortable with the idea that they were looking to her as an inside force to assist them, nor did she like that they assumed the police didn’t have their backs. Again, she knew it was all about their grief and how it was blinding them in their search for answers. So for now, she let it slide.

She thought about how tired she had been near the end of her career—not really physically tired but emotionally drained. She had always loved her job, but how often had she come to the end of a case and think to herself: Man, am I tired of this shit…

It had happened more and more often in the last few years.

But this moment was not about her.

She held her friend close, puzzling over how no matter how hard people tried to put their pasts behind them—whether it was relationships or careers—it somehow managed to always limp along not too far behind.

Kate wasted no time. She returned home and sat at the desk in her small study for a moment. She looked out of her study window, into her small backyard. Sunshine came in through the window, laying a rectangle of light on her wooden floors. The floors, like most of the rest of the house, showed the scars and scabs of its 1920s construction. Located in the Carytown area of Richmond, Kate often felt out of place. Carytown was a trendy little section of the city and she knew she’d end up moving elsewhere fairly soon. She had enough money to get a house just about anywhere she wanted but the very idea of moving exhausted her.

It was that sort of lack of motivation that had perhaps made retirement so hard for her. That and a refusal to let go of the memories of who she had been while with the bureau for those thirty years. When those two feelings collided, she often felt unmotivated and without any real direction.

But now there was Deb and Jim Meade’s request. Yes, it was a misguided request but Kate saw nothing wrong with at least making a few calls. If it came to nothing, she could at least call Deb back to let her know that she had tried her best.

Her first call was to the Deputy Commissioner of the Virginia State Police, a man named Clarence Greene. She had worked closely with him on several cases over the last decade or so of her career and they shared a mutual respect for one another. She hoped the year that had passed had not totally obliterated that relationship. Knowing that Clarence was never in his office, she opted to skip his landline and called his cell phone.