Ryan Westfield - Surviving Chaos

He didn’t blame himself for passing out. It wasn’t a sign of weakness. It was just the way the human body, any human body, responded after what he’d put it through.

What he was embarrassed about was not recognizing the signs in himself, thinking that he was completely invincible, that he could push himself on and on without fuel, without resting.

Max, though, resolved to get a better handle on what he was capable of.

Pushing yourself too far was sometimes even more dangerous than any other option. It could have disastrous consequences.

Of course, sometimes there wasn’t any other option.

It wasn’t like he’d had food he could have eaten. It wasn’t like he could have sat down and taken a break.

“OK,” said Mandy, sitting down next to Max near the fire. “So I’ve pinpointed our location. We’re right here.”

Max took a look at the map and nodded. “So the compound is in Ryerson Station State Park, then?”

“That’s what it looks like. So the big question is, where do we head next?”

“Well,” said Max. “We don’t have much fuel. But that doesn’t mean we can’t get more.”

“You’re still thinking we should keep heading west?”

Max shook his head. “I don’t think so. Georgia’s getting better, but she’s not strong yet. She needs rest. And we’ve seen how dangerous traveling can be. I think the thing to do is get somewhere and hunker down, somewhere where we can survive the winter.”

“Why not right here? There’s hardly anyone out here. Our prisoner over there is the first person we’ve seen.”

“There’s not enough food,” said Max. “I don’t know why, but there aren’t any deer here.”

“We’ve got the mushrooms.”

“I don’t know much about mycology,” said Max. “None of us do. We don’t know if they’ll be available in the winter. For all I know, they’re probably seasonal. Plus, it’s a bad idea to base our entire existence on one single wild food source. Plus, I don’t know if we can actually live solely on mushrooms. I doubt it.”

“I don’t know,” said Mandy. “That field guide says they’re very nutritious. They have some protein.”

“Probably not enough,” said Max. “As far as I know, the only plant a human can subsist entirely on is the potato, and there certainly aren’t any potatoes around here.”

“You can really live on just potatoes?”

“You were just telling me you thought we could live just on mushrooms.”

“Yeah, but…”

“You just wanted to be optimistic?” said Max.

“I guess so,” said Mandy.

“That’s not going to get us anywhere.”

“I know, I know. We have to be realistic. Trust me, you’ve told me that enough times already.”

Max shrugged.

“Are you OK, Max?” said Mandy. “What happened to you when you were gone? You’re still looking totally spent.”

“Long trip,” said Max. “Had to walk the whole way.”

“Was it dangerous?”

“About the usual.”

Mandy sighed. “I knew you wouldn’t tell me anything.”

“Let’s just say that we don’t want to end up in Antrim.”

“OK, then where do we go?”

“Did you ask Georgia about the deer here?”

“Yeah, she said something about it not being the right habitat for them. The plants or something. I don’t know, she was pretty tired.”

Mad nodded. “Well, here’s the radius that we might be able to travel in, in the Bronco with the amount of gas we have.” Max used his fingers as a make-shift bow compass that described a circle around their present location.

“We can’t go that way,” said Mandy. “That takes us close to Pittsburgh.”

“What about this? State Game Lands 179,” said Max.

“Well, it sure sounds like there’d be deer. Or something to hunt, at least. It’s going to be all woods. I think we have a better chance of surviving out in the woods than in the suburbs, and certainly the cities.”

“Suburbs, towns, and cities are out,” said Max. “At least until things calm down.”

“You mean until they all kill each other off.”

“Yeah. That’s the reality of the situation. The only thing about the State Game Lands is that it’ll be our only shot.”

“What do you mean?”

“If we head there, it’s unlikely we’ll be able to get gas anywhere along the way. If it doesn’t work out there then we’re…”

“Screwed?”

“Basically. I doubt Georgia could make a long journey on foot.”

“Well, I don’t think we have any better options.”

“Nope,” said Max. “Doesn’t look that way.”

“You think we can make it there on the amount of gas that we have?”

“No,” said Max. “I doubt it. But we can make it most of the way there.”

“Then what do we do?”

“Walk, and hope that Georgia can make it.”

“What about if we coast a lot of the way, you know, try to conserve gas as much as possible?”

“I was already figuring that in.”

Mandy nodded.

Max looked at her. The afternoon sun was glinting off her hair. Her face was getting more gaunt, as was his own, but in her eyes there was a spark of something. A spark of hope, of determination. She wasn’t going to give up, and neither was Max.

“So when do we leave?” said Mandy.

“Now,” said Max, standing up. “The longer we stay, the hungrier we’re going to get. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t really get full on those mushrooms. Although it was a lot better than nothing.”

“I haven’t been full in days,” said Mandy. “But shouldn’t we wait until tomorrow? We’ll end up traveling at night.”

“We’ll have the headlights,” said Max. “It’ll be better to go in the dark. Less of a chance of being seen.”

“Not if we use the headlights.”

“I mean if we have to walk.”

“Oh. But now? Are you sure? Georgia’s not exactly doing great. She’s still really weak.”

“We’ve got to keep going,” said Max. “We’ll rest when we get there. If it doesn’t work, we’ll need to find another place before winter really sets in. We’ve got limited time.”

“I hate this,” said Mandy. “It always feels like we’re rushing against the clock.”

“That’s because we are.”

“OK, I’ll tell everyone.”

“Got it. Let’s try to move out in an hour.”

Max watched as Mandy walked off. Her hair hadn’t been washed, her clothes were ripped and torn and dirty. But as far as he was concerned, she’d never looked better. She’d changed, in the way they all had, becoming more independent, more resourceful. The challenges they’d faced had only strengthened their will to live, their will to push on and on, no matter what.

Mandy hadn’t been like that from the beginning. Maybe the desire had been there, the seed of that type of personality. But it had taken the events to bring it all out of her and really let it flourish. Not to mention Max and Georgia’s influence on her.

Georgia had been more like Max, before the EMP. In some ways, even more so. Max recognized that he himself had changed quite a bit since the EMP.

It was as if, before the EMP, society had kept everyone hemmed in, performing their little functions. There were very obvious benefits to the society they had lived in, the one that had fallen. But there’d also been something wrong with it, a strain of sickness that ran through it. In Max’s opinion, a big part of that had been the way he and others had been hemmed in. They’d been told what to think, what to eat, and what to wear. None of it related to their real position in the world, their relation with nature and the elements.

Real survival hadn’t been a concern.

Max wasn’t blaming anyone. He didn’t know whose fault it was, if anyone’s at all. It was just what had happened.