Rhett McLaughlin - The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek

“Great, great,” Janine said. “Has their pizza gotten any better?” When they were kids, they’d joked constantly about how horrible it was.

Donna looked at her for the first time since she arrived. “Better than what?” she asked, completely serious.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Janine said. This conversation was somehow even more excruciating than she’d anticipated. “Better than it used to be.”

“I don’t really eat the pizza much,” Donna said, turning away.

“Excellent,” Janine said, nodding to herself. “Glad we’ve got that all sorted out.”

“It’s chicken time!” GamGam said as she placed the plate of cold leftovers on the small table near them. “Eat up, my little chickadees.”

Janine wanted to point out how gruesome it was to imagine little birds feasting on a chicken, but, once again, she didn’t think it was the right audience. She grabbed a drumstick.

“You like dark meat. Just like me,” GamGam said proudly.

“Twins,” Janine said as she took a bite.

Donna took the smallest wing.

“See? Puttin’ that plastic to good use!” GamGam said, pointing at the couch they were dropping crumbs on before grabbing a drumstick and lowering herself into the floral chair.

The room was quiet except for their chewing.

“So I went to film school,” Janine said. “Did you know that, Donna?”

“GamGam said that, yeah.” Janine had been hoping to see a flicker of something in Donna, but it was as if Janine had referenced a trip to the dentist. She was at a loss for what else to say. She was very ready to be back in New York.

“It’s been wonderful havin’ Neenie in town again,” GamGam said. “She’s makin’ a movie, just like you girls used to do. You remember those, Donna?”

Donna shrugged.

“Oh, you must, dearie,” GamGam said. “You two were always runnin’ around here with cameras on your shoulders, causin’ a ruckus. Just like those kids at the pig pickin’ yesterday. That was a real mess!”

“What happened?” Janine asked, eager to talk about anything other than The Gnome Girls.

“Oh! Most excitin’ thing all summer! Yes sir, poor Mr. Whitewood ended up at the ER…”

“I need to get to work,” Donna said, jumping to her feet like the couch had shocked her. Janine felt a palpable sense of relief. She didn’t care what Li’l Dino’s pizza tasted like these days; in that moment, she felt immense gratitude for its existence.

“It was great to see you,” Janine said, rising from the couch to say goodbye.

“Now, hold on a sec,” GamGam said. “I just thought of somethin’, Neenie. You should get a ride with Donna over to Li’l Dino’s with your camera, get some footage for your movie.”

“Oh,” Janine said as her insides screamed GOD, NO! “I don’t think that’s necessa—”

“No, listen,” GamGam said, her voice rising and speeding up in that way it did when she got excited. “Big Gary—he’s the owner over there—he just passed a coupla kidney stones last week! And they ain’t his first. He’d be a perfect interview!”

Janine didn’t have the heart to explain that in the last half hour, she’d more or less scrapped the entire project. Donna, meanwhile, was just standing there, her shoulders slightly hunched.

“Okay GamGam,” said Janine. “Maybe I’ll stop by there tomorr—”

“I haven’t even gotten to the best part,” GamGam interrupted. “He saves all his stones, Neenie! He’s got ’em in a jar right there in the restaurant. Isn’t that right, Donna?”

Donna stared, then gave a slight nod.

“Now that’s somethin’ you need in your movie!” GamGam concluded triumphantly.

Janine sort of wanted to throw up, both at the idea of a bunch of kidney stones in a jar and at the predicament she’d found herself in. “Um…”

“I’m sure Donna wouldn’t mind givin’ you a ride, right?”

“Yeah,” Donna said, which made it sound like she did mind, but GamGam wasn’t having it.

“Great! You girls go, have a fun time together.”

Janine really didn’t want to, but she saw the earnest, hopeful look on GamGam’s face and knew she had no choice. “Um, okay, I guess that works,” she said, a hard knot forming in her chest as she followed Donna toward the door. This would be the last destination on her Failed Kidney Stone World Tour. Fifteen minutes at Li’l Dino’s and then she’d get out of this town as fast as she could.

“Wait!” GamGam shouted. “Your camera!”

“Oh, right,” Janine said. She grabbed her camcorder off the table and zipped it into its case. “Thanks, GamGam. This should be a blast.”

“I’ll say!” GamGam raised her drumstick in the air and shook it like a maraca.

By the time Janine stepped outside, Donna was already in the car.

4

REX AND LEIF sat across from one another in silence, each perched on his own rock on a tiny island in the middle of the Cape Fear River. They’d been coming to this place for a couple years now, ever since their parents had given them permission to visit the river without supervision.

This miniature isle, with its natural privacy from the low roar of the nearby rapids, was the setting for many of the most significant moments in their friendship. It was here that Rex had shown Leif the calendar he’d found in his grandfather’s garage, entitled “Snow Bunnies,” featuring women wearing mittens, scarves, and nothing else. It was here that they’d discussed whether or not Matthew Jenkins was going to Hell because he believed in evolution. And it was here that they had first conceptualized their now-very-much-in-question masterwork, PolterDog.

The idea they once could not shut up about was now the reason for their silence. They didn’t remember who had first suggested making the movie, which was both comforting and frustrating, as it left them to share the blame for Alicia’s current predicament.

Leif had slept a total of forty-two minutes the night before. After he’d dropped Rex off and returned to his empty home just past two, he’d lain in bed, eyes open, as still as a corpse, his mind cycling through the events of the past day, Alicia’s voice the looping soundtrack: Rex! Leif! Helmmmphsseh! At one point, he’d found himself whispering aloud, “I’m racked with guilt!” This habit of vocalizing inner thoughts was something he’d developed the year before while memorizing vocabulary words for eighth grade English . He wondered if there was any other situation in which one could use the word “racked”? Could you say that you’re racked with happiness? Or donuts? It seemed like you should be able to, but Leif didn’t think he’d ever heard it used that way. He’d then realized he was casually questioning word usage while his best friend and secret crush was trapped in a creepy reform school, which made him feel even more guilty and ashamed. This pattern continued for hours. It was a long night.

Rex had fared better, his sleep logging in at three hours and fifty-one minutes. Though a part of him may also have been guilt-racked, most of him was angry. Angry at the Boykinses, angry at Mr. Whitewood and his stupid school, angry at himself. After Leif had dropped him off at home, he’d peeked into his parents’ bedroom and found them both snoring loudly. Good. They hadn’t noticed he was gone. Rex had then gotten into bed, not even bothering to remove the human-sized punching bag that had been his sleeping substitute. In fact, he’d begun to punch it. And kick it. And scream under his breath at it. When he’d abruptly realized how idiotic it was to pummel a punching bag while lying in bed next to it, he’d jumped up and walked out the front door, figuring his parents would be out cold for at least another five hours.