Amaury Dreher - Opalescence - The Secret of Pripyat

The path was dark, dotted with deformed shrubs and disturbing plant structures. Many signs indicated the radioactive hazard. They lined the path like amulets, trying to alert the visitor to the danger waiting for him. It would take more than that to talk me out of it.

Although unaware of my destination, I walked with great strides, in a hurry and impatient, determined to penetrate the impenetrable. I rushed through the trees, letting the forest suck me in. I wanted to reach its heart, to sink deeper and deeper into its very heart.

The woods surrounded me, they seemed to be watching my progress. A seductive fragrance came out of it and disturbed my senses. This olfactory distraction almost made me forget the radiation. The meter was starting to panic. I looked around.

18 microsieverts.

It was still reasonable. I didn’t care, I continued on my way. My mind was a little foggy, detached from my usual concerns. Arrived at another junction, I turned left in a completely random way. I was particularly fond of the idea of letting myself be guided by my steps. Do not anticipate a direction, do not follow a course. Trust my instincts, the one that only too rarely betrayed me.

My journey was sometimes arduous. Sometimes I felt compelled to overcome certain obstacles. In particular, I was forced to cross a frozen river. The undertaking was dangerous and, since the ice was breaking in some places, I had to be skilful. However, I ignored my soaked feet and persevered in my progress, imperturbable.

It was snowing very hard, but the sky was clear, almost immaculate. The sound of the meter did not fade.

24 microsieverts.

I didn’t care and repeated my effort, driven by an intense shiver of excitement. My breathing was accelerating. I wanted to push the limits, to extend my progress to the limits of this forest.

Nevertheless, I was forced to stop.

Obviously, I had followed a dead end path. The path seemed to disappear on what looked like a tiny cemetery. A handful of graves lay there, dilapidated and partially buried. They were arranged in a disorderly manner, as if they had been built in haste and without any desire for coherence. No names, inscriptions or religious symbols were displayed. The layout was irregular and seemed confusing. The graves looked menacing, but they didn’t frighten me. I went around them, with a placid mind, looking for traces of a trail at the foot of the trees.

I wanted to sneak through the forest, wander beyond. I perceived a rift between bushes, a path seemed to be emerging. I ignored the spiky brambles and committed myself to them. Shrubs blocked my way, but I didn’t care. Little reddish thorns challenged me, but I despised them.

Something was arousing my curiosity. I thought I could see a sound pattern in the background. A mysterious metallic whispering was coming to me. Maybe it was the wind that mixed with the whining on the meter? Maybe that noise was made by a machine or an animal?

My ears were tightened, I tried to identify this auditory sensation that hovered as a fiery threat. The sound was catching up with me. Almost sibylline, it was a prisoner of its enigmatic frequencies. A state of trance was emerging in me. I looked back, touched by the idea of turning back. However, I was unable to turn back: the forest attracted me, its aura was irresistible. I had no choice. I had to continue at all costs.

I made the decision to crawl to slip under a tangle of brambles. I kept moving forward. My steps were now energetic and in a hurry, I was doped by a senseless excitement. The meter was screaming relentlessly. He shouted more and more, becoming almost unbearable.

38 microsieverts.

I was stubborn, inflexible and determined. The vegetation was confusing. It was not abnormal in itself, but it seemed to be imbued with the state of floating in me. It was invasive without being suffocating.

I finally arrived in a small glade, delimited by thick bushes and branches of unreal dimensions.

The air was filled with fragrances, as seductive as they were mysterious. The temporality seemed to have been altered. On the ground, the roots of the trees were very visible and intertwined in an almost sacral disorder. I had an ambiguous feeling, a state divided between plenitude and misunderstanding. The forest seemed more elusive to me than ever before, even though I had reached his heart. I still didn’t know what I was looking for. A sensational feeling? The enjoyment of the broken taboo? Various thoughts absorbed me.

56 microsieverts.

I was gradually losing consciousness of my wooded environment, my mind was going astray. It was lost in idyllic dreams. A big hare crossed right in front of me. It was alone and paid no attention to me. My eyes followed him with a blissful look as if they were distinguishing this kind of animal for the first time. I could have spent hours wandering through the woods, captivated by this bewitching and bucolic atmosphere.

66 microsieverts.

Esoteric introspections attacked me. The wind had slackened, nature had fallen silent in a shattering silence. The cold was almost imperceptible. I was as if wrapped in an exquisite dream, a soft cocoon with infinite limits. A delicious nonchalance had set in. The air was soft. I felt light, indifferent. The forest had taken possession of me. Consenting, I closed my eyes to let myself be caught by this misty monster.

74 microsieverts.

The squeaks of the meter eventually brought me to my senses. Two hours had passed since I entered this forest and deep snow had begun to fall.

Without hesitation, I turned back, walking at full speed in order to precede the night that was coming. I tried to find my previous steps, the traces would still be present, preserved by the powder snow.

At the junctions, I knew exactly which directions to take. The trajectory was still fresh in my mind. However, some details seemed to me to be new, such as this embankment surmounted by an incomprehensible sign or this stream which seemed much wider than before. Anyway, I probably didn’t pay enough attention during my first visit.

As I walked backwards, I still noticed that the snow had removed the oldest traces. Little disturbed, I decided to follow my intuition. About thirty minutes passed. The brightness gradually dimmed and I was still having increasing difficulty identifying the spots. I remained calm, convinced of the goodwill of this forest.

I finally found the frozen river I had crossed: no remnants of broken ice, the surface was smooth and unaltered. There was no evidence of my previous visit. This was not so surprising, the cold had probably intensified a lot during my walk. The water had solidified again, understandably. Not very disturbed, I crossed calmly. My movements were methodical, the ice would not give way. Confident of myself, I reached the opposite shore.

The atmosphere had changed somewhat, but the forest was still as bewitching as ever. A few more meters and I’ll reach the edge of the woods. I rushed, a little reassured to have avoided a tragedy. My vehicle was not far away. Only a few more seconds and I’ll be there. It must have been near the big tree right next to the log. Or rather near the birch tree that bordered the river. Well, no, it must have been on a shoulder further south. Yes, that must have been it, I probably parked it discreetly to avoid attention.

The light faded as the darkness of the winter night’s spread. I was shivering. The cold was getting biting and gusts were starting to blow. I needed a shelter. The impermeability of my gloves seemed to diminish, I felt more and more the frostbite that was eating my fingers. I rubbed my hands vigorously, pressing them against my chest. It was a survival technique I had learned on television. However, my defences were weakening. My face was lacerated by ever more powerful icy gusts. I took a circular and distraught look at it. I felt like prey hunted by an imperceptible, but omnipresent enemy. I gathered my courage and started thinking at full speed. The landscape seemed identical to my memories, yet it was not the right place.