Gillian Jackson - The Accident

Alison came back to uni to finish her course. I think it was a relief to get away from her mother again. I was in the second year by then and we shared a house with another girl, so I was able in some way to look after her. She was such a gentle soul and never felt sorry for herself, and she even grieved over the baby.

After a while we made a pact never to speak of the incident again, and we didn’t for a long time; it seemed to be her way of coping with it. The only time I brought the subject up again was a few years later, after she’d met you and you were planning your wedding. As her bridesmaid I felt it right to suggest that she told you what had happened. I didn’t know you well but felt sure you would understand. Alison didn’t agree, not because she thought you wouldn’t understand, but because she didn’t want you to be burdened by what she had suffered. To her it was a very deep sadness and one she didn’t want you to feel for her. I don’t know if I’m explaining this well, but please believe that her motives were pure. She wished only to protect you from the pain of knowing what she had been through.

You have lost a wonderful woman and I have lost a very dear friend. This will be painful for you to learn, I know, and if you want to talk about it please feel free to Skype me at any time, listening is the least I can do for you and Alison.

God bless you, Joe,

Juliet

Joe felt exhausted. It had been quite a day. He had been wondering if Juliet’s reply was ever going to come, thinking that maybe he’d been wrong to approach her when she was someone he barely knew. He’d tried not to dwell on his mother-in-law’s hateful words, but they were always there, lurking at the back of his mind, ready to assault him at a low point, of which there were many.

The story the email told was incredibly sad, and Alison’s wish to protect him by keeping her past suffering to herself, typified his wife’s nature. The email answered Joe’s questions, but strangely it also brought him comfort. Alison’s memory was once again intact and he felt shame at those niggling, disturbing doubts he’d allowed to creep into his thoughts, the scenarios he’d imagined which did his wife no credit and now filled him with remorse.

Initially, he felt a desire to confront Ethel, to tell her exactly what he thought of her; she was prepared to let him think ill of his wife, to besmirch her character just to spite him, a fact which spoke volumes about her own warped character. But Joe was tired. The last couple of days had been incredibly difficult and the events had taken their toll, physically and emotionally. Would he ever come to terms with the fact that his brother had wanted him dead? Perhaps not, but maybe David was more to be pitied than hated. Joe had seen what hatred could do; he was learning to let go of bitterness and resentment. For Alison’s sake, he did not want to be the person with a chip on his shoulder, the man with a distorted image of the world.

Joe needed to take a few days off work to recover from his injuries. He telephoned in, admitting to an accident, without going into details. His head throbbed constantly and his shoulder and hip were stiffening, causing pain when he moved, so a few days’ down time would probably be good for him. He would rest and exercise gently by walking Liffey over the meadow, taking the car to the gateway to cut down on the walking. There would be time to sort out some more of Alison’s things too, not an easy task, but one he was accomplishing in stages.

Reading Juliet’s email once again, Joe allowed tears to fall for his wife’s sufferings, yet the image he held of her in his mind was of a vibrant, loving person. He knew that she would want him to live, not simply to exist. He would write to Juliet and thank her for her honesty and to let her know how much it had helped him.

The next morning, Joe woke early, his head pounding and his body aching. Liffey was on the bed beside him, her chin resting only inches from his face, looking hopefully at him with those doleful, irresistible eyes. With slow, deliberate movements he rolled out of bed and made his way to the bathroom; he was feeling even worse than the day before, his limbs were stiffening up and every movement was an effort.

Taking the stairs slowly, he made it to the back door and let Liffey out; she would have to see to herself until Helen arrived to take her out for a run. Briefly, he wondered how his brother was feeling this morning. David had expressed a modicum of remorse, but Joe was uncertain how genuine the sentiment was; perhaps it was only an act to dissuade him from involving the police?

But his brother wasn’t his problem anymore, and Joe doubted that he would ever hear from him again. Leaving the back door open for Liffey to come in when she was ready, Joe limped back upstairs and stood under the shower for a full fifteen minutes, letting the warm jets of water massage his aching body.

Getting out, feeling refreshed and more mobile, he dressed and went about the early morning tasks of feeding himself and Liffey. As well as thoughts of his brother and the events of the previous day, Juliet’s email was at the forefront of his mind. It had answered so many questions but also given him much more to think about. Ethel’s role in it all was certainly a black one, and anger simmered to the surface of his mind as he thought about how she had shown very little compassion during Alison’s time of need. More recently Ethel had used her daughter as an unpaid carer, and was even now prepared to besmirch her memory in order to score points against Joe. What an incredibly selfish woman she was!

Helen arrived to take Liffey for a walk and fussed over Joe as much as he’d allow her to. When Liffey was returned and the house was in order, Joe sat in the conservatory with a coffee, intending to do nothing more until lunch time and he very quickly drifted off to sleep. The telephone woke him and he was surprised to see that it was after 1pm.

‘Good afternoon, is that Mr Joe Parker?’ a man’s voice enquired.

‘It is, yes.’

‘Ah, hello, this is Detective Sergeant Ted Armstrong from Hampshire Constabulary in Eastleigh. Could I confirm whether or not you are a relative of Mr David Parker?’

Joe’s heart sank. What could possibly have happened now?

‘Yes, I’m his younger brother. Is anything wrong?’ he asked.

‘I’m very sorry to have to tell you that your brother is dead, Mr Parker. We found your number in a phonebook at his flat and I wonder if I could ask you a few questions? Again, I’m sorry for your loss and for having to inform you on the telephone like this, but circumstances dictate that we act swiftly.’

‘That’s okay; it’s just a bit of a shock, that’s all... How did he die?’

‘It appears that a domestic incident got out of hand. Could you tell me the last time you saw your brother, Mr Parker?’

‘Um, yes, I saw him yesterday actually.’ Joe’s mind raced; should he tell the sergeant everything? And what did he mean by a domestic?

‘Yesterday?’ The sergeant sounded surprised. ‘Did you visit him here?’

‘No, David and his wife came here to visit me but only for an hour or so...’

‘A four-hour drive for an hour’s visit seems a little unusual.’

‘Yes, I agree. Look, I’m sorry, sergeant, but by a domestic do you mean that Pam has killed David?’

‘We have arrested Mrs Parker on suspicion of murder, but you don’t seem too surprised at that.’ The sergeant was picking up on every nuance of Joe’s answers. There wasn’t time to think through what to tell him, he’d just have to tell the truth.

‘The thing is, I’m actually recovering from a recent accident, well no, it wasn’t an accident. I think there’s something you should know about my brother...’