Jane Renshaw - Watch Over Me

‘Sorry Mum,’ Beckie gasped, leaning back on the fence and trying to make her face serious.

‘Emma,’ said Pam.

The girls were both gasping, more exhausted by their laughter than by any amount of running around the field. Ruth remembered how it had felt, this hysterical prolonged hilarity with friends, the agony of trying to stop. There was something almost desperate about it, something not really enjoyable at all.

‘Come on now,’ she said again.

But they couldn’t stop. They would sober for a while but then erupt in fresh paroxysms of mirth whenever they looked at each other, made all the worse by Alec’s, ‘It wouldn’t be so funny if it actually happened.’

When they seemed finally to have laughed themselves to a standstill, Alec looked over at her. ‘Mum, Beckie needs to wear her helmet, yes?’

In fact, Ruth considered this unnecessary – Hobo wasn’t going to step on Beckie if she fell over, the pony was far too sensible – but she said, ‘Yes. Let your head cool off a bit and then put it back on. Better safe than sorry.’

Beckie’s mouth twitched.

And then Emma was gasping, ‘Imagine you all sorry ,’ and Beckie was making a sad head-squashed-by-Hobo face, and Emma was wailing ‘… wee myself!’ and running for cover in the broom.

Jed rolls over on the settee when I put on the telly and goes, ‘Load a pish.’

But I’m having my Bargain Hunt . I’ve been sweating on that fucking exercise bike for a fucking hour while that prick’s been swadging on the settee wasting space as fucking usual.

‘Get to your bed if you’re wanting to sleep,’ I says, getting comfy in my chair with my wee bit scone and my cup of tea. The Rotty comes and shoves his gob at me, slavers swinging, and I says, ‘Beat it.’ The kids feed the dug crap and that’s why he’s in your face twenty-four-seven.

I get my tablet on my knee and navigate through to FAF: the Forced Adoption Forum. I cannae post after that wee fucker EagleHasLanded got me banned, and I cannae open the ‘Members Only’ section, which is the best bit, but I can still read the other posts. I can still see how my pal Big Bertha’s doing trying to stop her lassie’s bairn getting taken off her. I dinnae have an email or nothing for Bertha, so I cannae get in touch with her. I registered again under a different email and username and sent Bertha a wee PM asking for her email, but then I cannae help myself, I’m getting sucked in to a thread on hearings, and some bastard goes ‘CoopyBird is Bekki’s Gran back’ and that’s CoopyBird’s arse banned before Bertha’s had a chance to reply to the PM.

I dinnae want on their fucking forum anyway.

Fucking bastards banned Bekki’s Gran the first time for telling MrMan to get his babby’s photy on Facebook like we’ve got Bekki’s, and get the media involved and try and find your wee laddie. Fucking FAF is meant to be helping folk who’ve had their bairns taken off them, and I get my arse banned for that? All the other bastards were just giving it ‘I know it’s hard, but at least you’re allowed to send your son birthday and Christmas cards and get photos three times a year’ like MrMan was gonnae turn round and say ‘Aye that’s fine then thanks very much’. The poor guy has lost his wean because the wean’s ma wanted it adopted, and she got pregnant by MrMan when they were both jakied, and the court says the poor guy isnae fit to look after the babby, even though he’s at uni and that, and his ma and da are gonnae help, because he’s on the sex offenders’ register because that wee hairy was fifteen? When I says about Facebook and the media he’s all ‘But I don’t want to get in trouble and have them stop the little contact I do have’ and I’m ‘Couple of fucking cards a year?’ and he’s ‘Yes, you’re right, Bekki’s Gran, what have I really got to lose?’ and I’m ‘Go for it, MrMan,’ and my arse was banned for that?

I open the section ‘Contact with the Child’.

The latest thread, ‘Help! Council mistake gives contact details!!!’, was started by JennyPenny.

Hi all, got a bit of a strange one here, the County council (not going say which one) sent our son’s Ex-Partner a copy of the adoption order for their child after she wrote them to ask them to send it because she’s entitled to see it by Law but they’ve made a mistake and the details of the couple our GD is being placed with havent been sensored.

So… We now have their names and address!!

What to do? Obv we’re not going to alert the council that we now have this info, my son is all for making contact but I’m worried this might be held against him. My son’s Ex doesn’t want to do anything.

Thoughts, anyone?

Thanks, JennyPenny

EagleHasLanded was straight in there:

JennyPenny, you MUST NOT do anything with this information, you must send the documents back to the Council, alerting them to the problem, and forget you saw this. Any attempt to contact your granddaughter will have serious repercussions for you and your family and could compromise your prospects of contact at a later date.

Then all them that always sook up to EagleHasLanded:

Fran: JennyPenny, Eagle is right, you must forget you saw this. Hard I know. Hugs.

KJ: God Almighty, what next? Bloody idiots. But yes, you can’t do anything with the info. Sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but I have to say I’m a bit worried by your reaction:

Obv we’re not going to alert the council

Why ‘Obv’? This sounds like you’re intending to take some kind of action. Just because they’ve made a mistake doesn’t give you the right to make contact if the courts haven’t said you can.

Stitcher: Oh dear. I have to agree with the others, Jenny. You don’t want to jeopardise anything by using this. You don’t want to alienate the APs by hassling them or trying to make contact with your GD. Also, think about your GD – could really upset/traumatise her. You are making a big mistake IMO which could hurt a lot of people. Please think long and hard about this.

Then in comes Bertha: Hey, am I missing something here or has JennyPenny done nothing wrong? Get off her case, people.

JennyPenny: Thanks Bertha :) Everyone, I’m not going to do anything, it’s my son I’m worried about he is an adult and I cant stop him going round there if he wants. But what would happen if he did? Could he get arrested?

EagleHasLanded: Yes he could get arrested.

Bertha: Yes he could get arrested. And get a slap on the wrist.

EagleHasLanded: Big Bertha, I hope you’re not suggesting that JennyPenny’s son SHOULD make contact with his daughter and/or her adoptive parents. He should NOT!!!

And you need to be very careful what you say on here. Suggesting that someone should defy the courts is dangerous and wrong. Please remember what happened to Bekki’s Gran when she posted similar advice.

Bertha: Bekki’s Gran, if you’re reading this, miss ya babe :)

OK Eagle, pull your horns in. Am I allowed to say that JennyPenny and her son and his ex could use this info to look on Facebook etc. and see if the APs have anything up on the net? That way they could maybe see photos of their girl and find out how she’s doing etc. without breaking the court’s conditions. How would anyone know you were doing that anyway?

Miss ya too, babe. Bertha’s spot on, as ever. What a woman.

I read out the posts to Jed and Connor, who’s just come in to get the end of Bargain Hunt before his shift at PC World. He looks like he’s back at the school in that fucking uniform, black trousers with a belt and a short-sleeved blue shirt with ‘Currys PC World’ in red over his tit.

Jed goes, ‘Ya beauty’ when I read out Bertha’s first post. Jed’s Bertha’s number one fan so he is.