Даниэла Стил - Finding Ashley [calibre]

“Marla invited us to go on safari with her, but I think the kids are too young,” Michaela said thoughtfully. “A trip to Italy and France sounds like fun and would be easier.”

“We could rent a house somewhere, maybe at a beach, and go on a driving trip together,” David suggested.

“We could even invite Marla to come,” Melissa added, although she suspected that Marla would say a driving trip would be a bore. Michaela said she visited friends in Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat on the Riviera every summer, and some of her friends owned yachts or chartered them, but that wasn’t a safe trip for young children either. Marla’s summer plans were always more geared to adults.

“I’ll check the Internet for rentals in Europe,” David promised.

Melissa would have liked to invite her sister to come with them, but she doubted that the convent would let her.

On the last morning, they all had breakfast together. Their suitcases were packed, and the children were wearing warm clothes for the trip back. They could peel off some of the layers once they took off. It was warm in L.A.

Their snowman was still intact on the front lawn, and Melissa said it would remind her of them after they left.

After breakfast, the van for the airport arrived, and Michaela thanked her warmly for a wonderful time.

“We all had so much fun. And I think I gained ten pounds. Nobody will want to eat my cooking after Norm’s.”

Melissa hugged her, Norm and David brought the bags down, and a few minutes later, with frantic waves and shouted goodbyes, they took off for Boston to catch their flight.

Melissa looked forlorn when they went back inside. Norm put on a fresh pot of coffee, and she looked at him sadly.

“I wish they didn’t live so far away. I loved having them here.” There were tears in her eyes. Now that she had Michaela in her life, she wanted to spend more time with her, but living in Los Angeles, she wouldn’t see them often. Melissa loved the idea of a vacation together in the summer. She wanted to see her and watch her children grow up. It all went too fast, and she had learned that you never knew what would happen. Sometimes the future was not as long as you hoped. She tried not to think about the fact that Robbie was only two years older than Andrew when he got sick.

“You’ll see them again soon,” Norm tried to console her. He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. “I’ve missed you, alone in my bed at night,” he grumbled good-naturedly. “What would we do on a trip? Would we have to have separate rooms?” He didn’t like that idea. She hadn’t thought about it when she suggested the trip.

“They’re used to you now. And Michaela and David are very relaxed. I didn’t want to shock anybody, but I think we could share a room when we travel.”

“Well, that’s good news,” he teased her. He didn’t suggest doing anything more radical about it. He didn’t know how she’d react to it, and it was much too soon. And the summer was a long time away.

He followed her upstairs after breakfast. It was Sunday, and she wanted to go for a walk. He wasn’t going back to work after the holiday until the next day, so they had a full day together now that everyone had left. They hadn’t been alone for four days.

He waylaid her in her closet, putting on her coat, and stopped her.

“Can I make a suggestion?”

“Sure,” she said innocently, not guessing what it was. He unbuttoned her coat after she had buttoned it.

“How about a little nap before we go out?” he said, looking mischievous.

“A nap? I’m not tired. We just got up,” she said, saw the look in his eye, and laughed. “Oh, a nap!” He kissed her then, she dropped her coat on the floor, and they walked into her bedroom. He had been very circumspect while her family was there, but they were alone in the house now and he couldn’t wait to get her clothes off and make love to her.

They jumped into her bed together, while they laughed and kissed, and dropped their clothes on the floor. He was starving for her, as he demonstrated amply, and their walk in the orchard was forgotten.

Chapter 15

Sister Mary Joseph stayed at the retreat house in Vermont for two weeks, until she couldn’t stand it any longer. She was longing to talk to someone, and hear someone else’s thoughts instead of the voice in her own head. Two weeks of silence had been challenging. She sent Mother Elizabeth an email at the end of two weeks and told her she wanted to come home. And the mother superior emailed her back and told her she could come home whenever she wanted to. She was free to leave. She wasn’t incarcerated there or being punished, although it had felt that way.

She emailed Melissa the morning she left, and told her she was going back to the city, and could speak again. The silent retreat had ended. The entire house followed a vow of silence, which Hattie had found extremely trying. In all her years in the convent she had never done that before, except for a day or a few hours. Two weeks of it had nearly driven her crazy. She knew that some people liked it and found it restful, but she wasn’t one of them. They had people come there from Boston and New York, not in religious orders, to do silent retreats. It made Hattie feel more anxious, but as she packed her small bag to go home, she knew what she wanted to tell Mother Elizabeth. So maybe the retreat had served its purpose to help her know her own mind.

The drive back to the city took six hours on snowy roads. There was a shuttle that traveled between various convents, when people signed up for them. They had sent one for Hattie. The driver was extremely cautious, and Hattie thought it made the trip home even longer than it had to be. She was grateful when she saw the lights of the city. She felt a lot better now than she had when she’d left. She had felt paralyzed by the intense police interrogation, and all she wanted was to disappear for a while. Now that she had, she was ready to return, and couldn’t wait to get back to work at the hospital. She longed for normal life again, and the trauma of the rape had receded back into memory, and didn’t seem quite so vivid. She felt back in control as she walked up the familiar steps of the convent. The other nuns were happy to see her. She unpacked her bag, and was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt when she went down to dinner. The first person she saw in the refectory was Mother Elizabeth.

“Welcome back.” The superior smiled at her. She could see immediately in her eyes that Hattie was feeling better. She wondered if she had come to some kind of decision. “How was it?” Mother Elizabeth asked with a look of interest.

“Long,” Hattie answered, and they both laughed. “I would never have made it in a silent order.”

“Neither would I,” Mother Elizabeth admitted, “but it does one good from time to time.” Hattie was just glad it was over. “Why don’t you come and see me in the morning and we’ll talk about it.” She wanted to know how Hattie was feeling now, and what she was thinking. Speaking up about the rape had been a painful revelation. “I’ll expect you at seven-thirty, after breakfast.” Hattie agreed and went to help herself to dinner, and the other nuns had joined them when she came back with her tray and sat down. She already knew what she was going to tell the superior in the morning. She had made the decision at the retreat house in Vermont.

She dreamt of it that night, woke at four a.m., dressed for Mass, and went to the chapel early so she could pray about it.

She ate half a bowl of oatmeal after Mass, and hurried to the superior’s office. Mother Elizabeth was already at her desk, when Hattie knelt and kissed her ring.

“Good morning, Sister Mary Joe.” She was in her nursing habit, ready for work, as Mother Elizabeth peered over her glasses at her. “You may sit down.” Hattie slid into a chair facing her across the desk, like a schoolgirl. “It’s nice to have you back. Is there something you want to tell me?” Hattie nodded, cowed by her for a minute, and quickly told herself she was doing the right thing.