James Patterson: Dangerous Days of Daniel X

For a moment the drug dealer writhed like somebody with the world’s worst ice-cream headache. Then he tossed his gun into the sewer as if it burned his hand.

Next the red-bearded wonder climbed to the top of the abandoned factory stairs and thrust his arms out.

“I… HAVE … BEEN… SAVED!” the dealer screamed for all to hear.

The kids who worked for him stared with their mouths open wide.

“I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!” the dealer yelled even louder. “AND I AM HERE IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR TO MAKE SURE THAT EACH AND EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU SEES THAT SAME LIGHT!”

I chuckled. In a way, he was right. I had definitely saved him. If you consider erasing his memory and convincing him that he was a Pentecostal preacher being saved.

The born-again dealer pointed at me as I backed away.

“You there! Yes, you! Like the Angel in Joseph’s dream in the Holy Book, I say unto thee, Donot be afraid! Stay and hear the Good Word. For how else will you save your soul from the clutches of the devil himself? ”

“I must be off now.” I saluted him. “Maybe to do the Lord’s work myself.”

Hopefully, like catching Ergent Seth and dispatching him to the everlasting fires.

WELCOME TO ANOTHER of my creepy nightmares. I kind of wish this were a blank page and I had nothing to say. But it isn’t.

No sooner had I drifted off to sleep that night than Number 6 was talking to me, Ergent Seth himself. Imagine a dead and diseased horse’s head on the body of a hairy, pasty white, six or seven-hundred-pound wrestler. Now make it twice as ugly and scary. Oh yeah, and with horrifyingly bad breath.

“I have one word for you, Daniel- run! Because I have no plans of showing you the tender mercy The Prayer extended to your mama and papa.

“I will torture you for a human eternity, during which time you will beg me for death by an Opus 24/24, or an ax, or a thousand snakebites. I can see the future, Daniel, and I am looking forward to it, every excruciating second of your murder and dismemberment. Isn’t that a wonderful English word, dis-member-ment?

“Now, wake up, dear boy -and enjoy another sleepless night, compliments of Ergent Seth.”

SLEEP-DEPRIVED OR NOT, I forced myself to go to school the next day. Got to keep those priorities straight. It’s amazing how not having parents makes you be a parent to yourself. Most of the time, anyway.

Two things happened when I was coming out of my last class. Two awesomely cool things, actually.

“There you are,” Phoebe Cook said, smiling as she jogged over. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, Daniel.”

Then she actually hooked my arm with hers, and I could feel pins and needles on the inside of my elbow where our skin touched. If it was a question before, it was now confirmed. I definitely had a bit of a crush on Phoebe. Dana wasn’t going to like this, but I couldn’t help what was happening. Sorry, Dana.

“How about that movie? Maybe Friday?” I said as we walked. I think I was blushing. “Am I being too pushy?”

This Friday?Yes! I heard Phoebe thinking. No, wait. Maybe I shouldn’t seem too eager to go out with Daniel. He might get the wrong idea.

“Um, can I let you know?” Phoebe said. “I might have to babysit at home.”

“Sure,” I said, not wanting Phoebe to feel the least bit uncomfortable. “No worries.”

We stopped in the front of my house, and Phoebe suddenly pointed over my shoulder.

“Awww! How cute,” she said, and smiled sweetly. Yep, I definitely had a crush on her. “What’s your cat’s name?” she asked.

I turned and saw a large tabby standing on the sill of my open kitchen window. My jaw and stomach dropped simultaneously.

Not only didn’t I have a cat-security nut that I am-I had made triple sure to lock all the windows.

“Crap,” I said.

“That’s a funny name for a cat,” Phoebe said, and rolled her eyes.

“Isn’t it?” I mumbled, hustling up my front porch steps. “I have to go, Phoebe. I’ll see you tomorrow. Gotta feed the cat.”

Or maybe get eaten by it.

THE FRONT DOOR CREAKED OPEN by itself très creepily when I touched the knob.

I stopped in the doorway and did a quick mental scan of the house to see if there was someone or some thing still inside. I didn’t sense anything-so I stepped all the way in.

First thing I noticed was the ripped-apart couch cushions in the living room. Crap! Next was the waterfall rushing down the stairs. Double crap! I could hear an open tap in the upstairs bathroom, probably the bathtub.

While I was assessing the water damage, I noticed burnt-rubber tire marks across the floor, as if someone had ridden a motorcycle through the house. I think someone had.

“There goes the security deposit,” I mumbled, nimbly stepping around my new indoor wading pool.

Next I noticed something smoldering in the fireplace. It was my book Water for Elephants. What kind of thoughtless creep would burn a book?

The kitchen had taken the worst of the attack. It looked like someone had removed everything from the fridge, item by item, and smashed the bottles and cartons against the wall. The alley cat that I’d seen in the shattered window was standing on the counter now, licking up spilt milk.

“Oh, there you are,” I said. “Crap.”

There was another cat on the floor, a cute calico that rubbed its cheek against my shin as it purred.

“What happened here?” I mumbled. Suddenly Tabby leaped off the counter and attached itself to my face.

I backpedaled, screaming as it hooked several claws into my lower lip and bit into my cheek. The smaller cat attacked too, wrapping itself around my leg like a python with claws, and sinking its teeth deep into my shin. I flicked off the kitten first, sending it through the air, then sliding across the counter and into a wall.

There was a hideous Velcro-like rip of skin as I detached the tabby from my face and hurled it away.

It hissed at me angrily, looking at me with strangely human eyes.

“Get out of LA or die!” it croaked in a demonic voice.

Before I could react, it hopped onto the counter and the two cats disappeared out the kitchen window. “We’ll be back… mouse-boy! ” they said in chorus.

WITHOUT YOUR FRIENDS, well, what are you?

Willy, Joe, Emma, and Dana were only too happy to help me clean up after the crazy cat attack. Dana seemed a little distant, like maybe she knew about Phoebe Cook. She didn’t say much, though, as she tended to the bloody patch of raw flesh on my face.

I looked at myself in the mirror. “Great. I look like I just stepped out of a B horror movie with a very bad makeup job.”

“Why should you care what you look like?” Dana said without smiling, not expecting an answer. That was my first sign that she wasn’t too pleased about Phoebe.

Afterward I treated everyone to pizza, but I made the mistake of letting Joe order.

“No, not one with everything,” I heard him tell the phone person at Domino’s. “One of everything. I’d like the entire menu. In fact, make it two entire menus.”

“Domino’s?” Emma said in shock. “If you want to kill yourself, fine, but I don’t do processed flour. Hello? This is California. There has to be a Whole Foods around here somewhere.”

She was already searching the Yellow Pages when the phone rang. I figured it was the pizza place, confirming Joe’s insane order.