James Grippando - Last Call

"Dude, I need your place tonight," Theo had begged him.

"Find a hotel."

Jack might as well have said, "Buy Trump Tower." For Theo, it was the kind of response that didn't compute between friends. Like an idiot, Jack had handed over the keys and planned to spend the night at his grandmother's.

Abuela had been awake since 5:00 a.m., the radio tuned to a Spanish-language talk show. Jack understood Spanish much better than he spoke it, so he listened. An old woman carried on about pochos , a pejorative name for second-generation Mexicans who knew only as much about their heritage as the George Lopez Show could teach them and raised children who didn't speak a word of Spanish.

Abuela switched off the radio, and Jack prepared himself for the Cuban version of a well-meaning lecture. But she surprised him.

"You do not mention Rene once since you are here," she said. Her English was roughly on the level of Jack's Spanish, so she often stuck to the present tense.

"I didn't?" he said.

"No. How is she?"

"I don't know. I haven't talked to her in a while."

"Oh? When last?"

"Actually… when she was here in Miami."

Abuela looked horrified. "You no call her?"

"We said good-bye in the airport. She said she would call me as soon as her plane landed in Africa. She didn't."

" Ay} mi vida" she said, shaking her head with disapproval.

"Don't worry your grandson's not that small a person. I allowed for the possibility that something happened, so I called her. Left a message on her cell. Sent her an e-mail, too."

"She no respond?"

Jack dunked another strip of bread. "No. That's just the way Rene is."

Abuela came to the table and sat across from him. "Why you put up with that?"

"That's an excellent question."

"What about that FBI girl?"

"What about her?"

"Why you no call her?"

"Don't tell me. Has Theo turned you into an Andie fan, too?"

"A fan? No. Pero , if she is Cubana …"

He smiled and kissed her hand. The doorbell rang. Jack and Abuela exchanged glances, as if to ask, Are you expecting someone? Neither one was.

"I'll get it," said Jack. He walked down the hall to the front door and checked the peephole. A big eyeball was staring back at him. He knew it could be only one person, so he opened the door.

"Hey, thanks for last night," said Theo, obviously in a great mood.

"I'm not the one you should be thanking," said Jack.

"You got that right. You would not believe-"

"Please, spare me the details."

"No, you don't understand," said Theo. "Some women reach for your joystick like it was a doorknob in the bathroom of a rundown filling station, but Trina, she grabs hold of you and-"

"Okay okay" said Jack, wincing. He stepped out onto the porch and closed the door. "This is my grandmother's house."

"Sorry man. I just thought you'd be happy for me."

"I am happy."

"You don't sound like it."

"I couldn't be happier. Truly."

"What'd you and Abuela do last night?"

Jack was reluctant to say. "Dominoes."

Theo laughed way too hard. Had they been anywhere but Abuela's, Jack would have flipped him the bird.

"Why are you here?" said Jack.

"I need another favor."

"No, you can't have my place again tonight."

"I wouldn't even think of asking. At least not till you wash the bedsheets."

You mean burn them . "What do you want now?"

"Hey I almost forgot," said Theo. Jack sensed a little misdirection coming before Theo hit him up for the real favor. Theo started to unbutton his dress shirt.

"What are you doing?" said Jack.

"Check this out," he said, as he pulled open the shirt to reveal what he was wearing underneath it. "You like?"

"It's a T-shirt," said Jack.

"Not just a T-shirt. The idea came to me when I was sitting in jail. I asked Trina to have some samples silk-screened. This is your new marketing angle, a way to build up your criminal defense practice. It's like the advertising campaign for the milk industry – 'Got milk?'"

Jack took a closer look. "Got caught?" he said, reading aloud, and then he read the smaller print: "Call Jack Swyteck."

"Good, huh?" said Theo.

Jack just rolled his eyes. "Theo, really – what do you want?" He buttoned his shirt. "I need you to give me a lift."

"Don't you have a car?"

Trina dropped me off. Anyway I need you to come with me." Where we going now?"

"My favorite place," said Theo. "Back to TGK."

"For what?"

"Just put on your lawyer face. Come on, hotshot. I'll fill you in on the way."

A TGK CORRECTIONAL OFFICER led them to a private visitation room. Coincidentally it was the very same cubicle in which Theo, as inmate, and Jack, as lawyer, had met just a few days earlier. This time, however, Jack and Theo sat side-by-side on what Theo called the suit's side of the small conference table, the lawyer and his "investigator." Together, they waited.

Finally, the fortified door opened. A guard entered first. The inmate followed immediately behind him.

It was Theo's old cell mate, Charger.

"Twenty minutes," the guard said, as he left: the room.

The empty bunk had been Charger's first clue, and at breakfast he'd heard about Theo's release. The whole cafeteria was buzzing with talk of the attack in the infirmary last night. Charger went to the telephone, dialed Theo's home number, and told Uncle Cy that he had to speak to Theo – in person and in private. Bringing an attorney along was the only way to ensure privacy, so Theo rounded up Jack just as soon as Cy called and delivered the message.

Charger sat in the wooden chair on the other side of the table, facing Theo and Jack. Theo was about to make the introductions, but Charger didn't seem to care who Jack was. He looked only at Theo.

"I lied to you," said Charger.

"About what?" said Theo.

He looked at Jack. "You got any gum?"

"Actually, I do." Jack offered a stick, and Charger took the whole pack. He tucked a piece into his mouth and chewed. Interesting, but watching him gently work the gum around in his mouth was the first time Theo had so clearly noticed Chargers effeminate side. He definitely worked on his manliness among the general prison population, not one of the obvious prison bitches who enhanced his lips with powdered Kool-Aid from the kitchen as if it were a tube of Hooker Red No. 105.

"What'd you lie about?" said Theo.

"'Bout Isaac."

"I'm listening."

Charger crossed one leg over the other, again like a woman. "Me and him, I mean. That was a lie."

Theo had little doubt as to Charger's meaning, but somehow it just wasn't registering. "What was a lie?"

Charger looked at Jack, then back at Theo. "Your friend's cute," said Charger.

Theo jumped up, reached across the table, and grabbed him by the inmate number on his jumpsuit. "You little shit, what are you saying?"

Jack pulled him back into his chair. "Easy, Theo. Go easy."

Charger caught his breath and brushed out the wrinkles that Theo had inflicted on his jumpsuit.

Charger lowered his eyes, his hands resting in his lap. "I lied when I said Isaac and me weren't lovers."

"Let's get outta here," Theo said to Jack.

"Wait," said Jack. He leaned forward, elbows on the table, the way he might during the deposition of a witness who was flip-flopping on his story. "Why did you lie about that before?"

Charger leaned forward as well, and suddenly Jack's attempt at intimidation looked more like two people on a date staring into each other's eyes. "Because that was the way Isaac wanted it," said Charger.

Jack sat back in his chair. "He preferred to keep it a secret?"

"Uh-huh. So that was the way we played it."

Theo said, "I got two things to say about that. Number one, I don't believe you. Number two, if this is all you got me out of bed with my girlfriend to listen to, I'm gonna jump over this table and snap you in half."