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Faye Kellerman: The Garden Of Eden And Other Criminal Delights

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From Publishers Weekly Bestseller Kellerman's hardcore fans will welcome this eclectic volume, whose 17 selections include two new tales about her series husband-and-wife team, LAPD Lt. Peter Decker and Rina Lazarus; two stories with family themes, one coauthored with Kellerman's two daughters ("The Luck of the Draw"); and a pair of autobiographical essays, one a poignant tribute to her late father ("The Summer of My Womanhood"). Kellerman's short stories may lack the intricate plotting of her novels (Stone Kiss, etc.), but a typical effort like the title story, in which Decker notices some things out of place when a friend dies of an apparent heart attack, is never less than entertaining. Brief comments at the start of each entry provide context.

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Yes, this new lifestyle was fine by me.

Later that day I overheard Mom talking to Grandma about the whole thing on the phone.

“Yes, Ma, the lottery. One of those Scratcher tickets… No, not all six numbers… I know-amazing, isn’t it? Jack has always had good luck, but still, the odds of winning are so low. But you know what’s strange? I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I’m thrilled. Who wouldn’t be thrilled about winning two million dollars…”

So that’s how much we had won!

Mom continued, “But I’m kind of worried this will go to everyone’s head. Jack has already promised Toni a car, and Beth thinks we’re millionaires now… I know, I know. I just don’t want to spoil them.”

She didn’t want to spoil us? Didn’t want the money to go to our heads? Who cares if it does when it means we can live more comfortably?

But I knew how to plan my course of action. Not to complain, not to ask for a lot. I’d have to work my way up slowly and be excessively grateful. I would show Mom that I was not taking the money for granted. And then she’d realize that the money wasn’t spoiling us. And she could buy us what we wanted with a clear conscience.

I started my plan Saturday at the mall. At first everything went as planned. With much restraint, I picked out only one pair of pants. One. And they weren’t even expensive. Mom seemed pleased.

Good.

A couple of weeks after we had won the money, I was still sticking to my plan.

Beth was a different story. She went psycho when Mom told her no, she couldn’t have another pair of shoes and two dresses.

“But, Mom,” she complained, “it’s not fair. I’ve wanted these dresses for such a long time. Lisa’s mother bought her four outfits last week, and her father didn’t even win the lottery.”

Grandma tried to cover a smile. I knew my actions would look even better next to Beth’s greedy fits.

I separated from everyone to go into one of my favorite stores.

Big mistake number one. Mom had given me her credit card to buy some dress pants.

Big mistake number two. As I looked around, I knew I was losing my self-control.

“Restraint,” I muttered to myself. But everything was so cute-and not that expensive. Besides, we could afford it.

After a while, eight new articles of clothing now officially belonged to me.

I smiled.

Mom did not when she saw what I had bought.

“Toni, I really expected more from you. You’re fifteen. How could you do this?”

She wouldn’t even look at me.

I said, “But you just don’t understand-”

“I do understand,” Mom interrupted. “But maybe you don’t understand the concept of self-discipline. You girls are unappreciative. I never would have acted like this. You’re going to have to go back and return the items.”

Return them? I just couldn’t understand why Mom was being so uptight. I know she didn’t want us to get into the habit of buying everything we wanted, but I thought she could be a little more understanding. I had to say it.

“Mom, I really don’t see why you should care so much. We have the money, don’t we?”

Mom looked exasperated. When she stomped off, I didn’t know what to think.

Beth’s Turn

I guess when I found out we had won the lottery, it made my day. I’m in sixth grade, and that day I had just taken a social studies quiz and a big English grammar test.

I’m the worst at grammar.

Mr. Furling had called me out of class, and I saw Dad. He took me home and told me the big news. We had won the lottery.

I didn’t care how much. I paraded around the room. When my dad told Toni, standing for Tonia, that she could buy a car, I thought about my own list of things that I wanted: a pair of Steve Madden shoes, a couple of new dresses, and a CD player with a Spice Girls CD to go along with it.

Even though we had won the lottery, I was still frustrated about the tests I had taken. So when we went shopping and the store didn’t have the beautiful long, slinky white dress in my size, I almost cried. Mom gave me the choice of waiting for the dress in my size or getting a blue-and-white-plaid dress that was half price. I’m not very good at waiting, so I grumpily told my mom that I would take the plaid dress. My sister, Toni, bought a pair of jeans.

A few weeks later, we took another trip to the mall, and I saw the white dress in size ten-my size! It was just my fit, and I could get great use out of it. So I ran over to ask Mom if we could buy it. She said no. At first I kept saying please, please, please.

Then I got so upset that I yelled, “It’s not like we can’t afford it.”

Mom started giving me this whole lecture about how she didn’t buy a suit because she used common sense. Being argumentative, I told her there was no such thing as common sense, because everyone had different genes in their bodies. I also reminded her that she had said she would buy the dress when it came to the store in my size. Mom seemed very agitated, explaining that I had made a choice.

Grandma tried to comfort me, but that didn’t help. Then I started to compare Toni to me. I said that Toni got to buy two pairs of pants, why couldn’t I have two dresses? Mom told me Toni was not my concern.

Tears streamed from my eyes, but I didn’t want Mom to see them. When she asked what was wrong, I told her I was sweating from frustration. I remembered I had five dollars in my pocket and I started to walk away. When Mom asked me where I was going, I screamed that I was going to Body Beautiful to look because I didn’t want to steal any of her precious money.

While I was walking away, I saw Toni coming out of her store carrying three bags.

“You’re crazy,” I said. “Mom won’t allow it.”

Toni just glared at me like all snobby older sisters do and walked away. When I got to Body Beautiful, I bought mango-scented bubble bath. I had earned my five dollars washing the neighbor’s car.

Then the strangest thing happened. I looked out the mall window and saw Mom stomping down the sidewalk. I felt bad for what I had done and decided to give her the bubble bath.

The Solution

I said, “I called this family meeting because something has to be done!”

My daughters stared at their laps with sullen expressions.

I continued, “Winning the lottery doesn’t give you two license to start making demands!”

“So you can continue to be arbitrary,” snapped Toni.

“That’s uncalled for.” Jack leaped to my defense. “Apologize.”

“She is being arbitrary,” Toni insisted. “You both are. One minute you’re both expansive, saying we can afford this and that and taking us out to fancy restaurants. The next minute I find a blouse- on sale, no less-and you won’t buy it for me. Oh, you have enough to afford a hundred-dollar bottle of wine, but I can’t buy a fifteen-dollar blouse.”

Jack said, “What we do with our money is our concern, not yours.”

“Obviously,” Beth retorted.

“You know what I think?” I said. “I think we were doing just great before this lottery business came up. I think we should… give it all to charity!”

Jack smiled. “I’ll tell you girls right here and now, if things don’t work out soon, we’re going to give Mom’s idea some real thought.”

I looked at my husband. “Jack, I’m serious. Let’s give it away-”

“Amanda-”

“Okay. We’ll keep enough for the girls’ education. Give them some motivation for doing well in school. But beyond that, I think I’ve hit upon a perfect solution. We weren’t hurting before. Why shouldn’t we share our good fortune?”

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