Stuart Woods - Short Straw

"What brings you to Santa Fe, Ms. Wilde?"

"Please call me Susannah. I'm an actress, and I live in L.A., but frankly I'm tired of it. I've sold my house there, and I've found a pied-a-terre for when I'm there on business, but I plan to make my real home here."

"I know the original owner of your house, and I've been there for dinner. It's a beautiful place. I especially remember the library."

"Yes, I'm thrilled to have it."

"When do you want to close?"

"The owner says he can close quickly, so the sooner the better." She gave him the name of the seller's attorney.

"A couple of weeks okay?"

"That's fine with me."

"Where are you staying?"

"At the Inn of the Anasazi."

"I'll call you as soon as we've agreed on a closing date. Will you be staying long?"

"I'm going back to L.A. tomorrow, to get moved into my new apartment, but I'll be back for the closing, and I'll move in the same day, so can you schedule it for first thing in the morning?"

"Of course." He took a deep breath. "Would you like to have dinner tonight?"

She smiled. "How kind of you. Is this all part of the service?"

He smiled back. "No, this is a special occasion," he said.

"I'd love to." She stood and shook his hand again. "What time?"

"I'll pick you up at seven-thirty, if that's all right."

"I look forward to it." She turned and walked out of his office.

He watched her go. "Oh, shit," he whispered to himself. "I may be in trouble again."

THEY ENTERED THE OUTSKIRTS OF PUERTO VALLARTA AND saw the airport sign.

"Not yet," Cupie said. "Drive into town; I got an idea that might buy us a little breathing room."

"Where do you want to go?" Vittorio asked.

"The police station."

"I want to get out of here," Barbara said.

"Of course you do, sweetheart," Cupie replied, "And I think I can make your trip a little bit safer. Don't park out front, Vittorio; make it about a block away."

Vittorio found a parking spot, and Cupie walked down the street to the police station. As before, he was sent to the rear office of the captain, who was sitting at his desk reading a girlie magazine.

"Buenos dias, senor," the captain said, immediately recognizing a man who had promised him a five-thousand-dollar reward.

"And to you, captain," Cupie said, taking a seat.

"We are looking for your shooting lady very hard," the captain said. "We have covered all the airports and border crossings."

"That's what I came about," Cupie said. "I want to withdraw the charges against the lady."

The captain's face fell. "But, senor, this is not so easy, you know. Much paper has been, how you say, pressed?"

"Pushed."

"Many man-hours have been expended in the search."

Yeah, sure, Cupie thought. "I'm aware of that, captain, and my client is very grateful for your cooperation." Cupie reached into an inside pocket and came out with twenty one-hundred-dollar bills. "He has asked me to personally deliver to you this expression of his gratitude." He laid the money on the desk. The captain made a motion with his hand, and it disappeared. "Even though the woman was not captured."

"But she shot you, senor," the captain said, his voice trembling with outrage. "Surely, you cannot let such an insult pass."

"My client has made my honor whole," Cupie said, "and the lady and I have settled our differences."

"So, you know where she is?"

"She should be in New York by now, I think. Her husband sent a private aircraft for her, and I put her aboard it very early this morning."

"Senor," the captain said, "I hesitate to mention this, but I have had reports of two gringos in a Toyota SUV who caused a serious accident outside Acapulco yesterday. I wonder if you are aware of this?"

Cupie put on his most innocent face. "No, I have not heard of it," he said. "My partner is not a gringo but an Apache Indian. He and I are driving a Toyota, but it is a sedan, not an SUV. I do hope the occupants of this car were not injured."

The captain shrugged. "Only their pride," he said. "They are police officers, you see."

"Ah, any person would be very foolish who would cause an accident to police officers. Having been a policeman, myself, for thirty years, I can understand their displeasure. If you have a description of the two men, I would be happy to keep an eye out for them. Now that our work is done, my friend and I plan to spend a couple of days on the beach."

"I'm afraid I do not have a description, other than that they are gringos," the captain said. He stood up and offered his hand. "But this is not your problem, senor; we are perfectly capable of finding them without your assistance."

Cupie stood up and shook the hand. "I am very sure you will do so, captain. Thank you again for your assistance, and I hope that we may meet again on some more pleasant occasion."

"Vaya con Dios," the captain said.

Cupie strolled back to the car and got in. "I think," he said, "that I may have gotten the dogs called off. I gave the captain two grand and asked him to end the search for our lady friend."

"You think that will work?" Barbara asked from the rear seat.

"Let's give the captain an hour to give some orders and then make a run at the airport," Cupie said. "We've still got plan B, Tijuana, in reserve."

"I'm hungry," Barbara said.

"Do you think you can eat lying down?" Cupie asked.

"Find me some food, and find me a place where I can eat without being seen," she commanded.

"Vittorio?"

"Let's look for a taco stand," Vittorio said.

THE THREE OF THEM SAT ON PINE NEEDLES IN A LITTLE patch of woods off the main road, eating tacos and drinking Dos Equis.

"I hope this food doesn't do things to my digestive tract," Cupie said.

"It's cooked," Vittorio pointed out, "and the beer isn't going to hurt you."

Barbara finished her taco and stood up. "Excuse me, while I locate the powder room," she said, then vanished into the trees.

"There's something I didn't mention in front of the lady," Cupie said.

"Oh, shit."

"It's not necessarily bad. The police captain told me his people are looking for the guys in the Toyota 4Runner; that's you and me."

Vittorio allowed himself to look minutely alarmed. "And how is that not bad?"

"They don't have a description of us, just the SUV, and that is now history."

"I hope it's history they don't bother to check with the rental car people."

"So do I, but I think we're okay. He took the two grand, made it disappear like a sleight-of-hand artist; that should mollify him. I also told him we put Barbara on a private jet out of here early this morning and that she's halfway to New York by now."

"Let's hope he buys that."

"He was disappointed, naturally, not to get the whole five grand."

"Not as disappointed as he was not to get her three hundred grand in travelers checks. The natural state of mind of your average Mexican cop is Greedy, with a capital G."

"Well, let's hope he thinks she's gone."

"You know what I'd like to do?" Vittorio said. "I'd like to give her the ten grand back and get the first plane out of here to anywhere."

"I don't think you'd run out on the lady, after making her a promise, but I'd feel better if we were better armed," Cupie said.

"I can do something about that," Vittorio replied.

"You got a secret weapons cache?"

"I got a guy in Mexico city who can deliver anything anywhere. What would you like?"

"A nice twelve-gauge riot gun with an extended magazine would be nice. And a whole lot of double-ought buckshot."

Vittorio took out his cell phone, checked for a signal and speed-dialed a number. His conversation was brief and in Spanish. He closed the phone. "An hour from now, at a little cantina south of Puerto Vallarta, not a ten-minute drive from here."