Lisa Kleypas: Give Me Tonight

"I don't know how. Diaz was just odd. He could make the craziest things seem natural, and since he believed in them, he could almost make you believe too. But he left the ranch for good before I could work up enough nerve to ask him what he thought about Aunt Adeline disappearing. "

"That's too bad," Addie said pensively. "It would be interesting to know what he would have said."

"It sure would."

Addie went out on Friday with Bernie Coleman to see the new all-talking feature at the movie house. Mr. Turner, the theater owner, had just installed sound equipment last year, and the whole town of Sunrise went enthusiastically to see the latest pictures. Coquette was Mary Pickford's first talkie, and Addie had been enchanted not only by the fine acting but also by Mary's new bobbed hairstyle.

"I think I'll get my hair cut short and curly," she mused as Bernie walked her home, and he laughed, leaning close and pretending to examine her straight honey-brown hair.

"You with her curls? That's the limit."

Addie smiled at him, wrinkling her nose. "I could get a permanent wave."

"Baby, compared to you, Mary Pickford's not so hot."

"You're sweet," she said, and laughed as she slipped her hand into his. On the outside, Bernie was slick and sophisticated. He tried to seem bored by everything, tried to view the world through jaded eyes, but Addie had long ago discovered the streak of kindness in him. No matter how well he hid it from others, Addie had seen on occasion that Bernie was tenderhearted, the kind of man that couldn't stand to see a hurt animal or an unhappy child. Because of his family's money and his blond good looks, he was considered to be a handsome catch, but Addie had no designs on him. That was, perhaps, why he was so interested in her. Men always seemed to want what they couldn't have.

Bernie's hand tightened around hers as they neared her house at the end of the street. Instead of leading her to the front doorstep, he took her into the shadows beyond the glow of the porch light. "Bernie, what are you doing?" Addie questioned, giggling. "This grass is wet, and my shoes-"

"Sign off for a minute, baby." He held a finger to her lips. "I want a few seconds alone with you."

Addie bit his finger playfully. "We could go in the house. Leah's upstairs, probably asleep."

"You're not the same in the house. You change into another girl as soon as you walk through the door." "I do?" She stared at him quizzically, more than a little surprised.

"Yes, you do. You get all dull and serious. I like you when you're dizzy and fun. You should be like this all the time."

"I can't be dizzy and fun all the time," Addie said with an impish smile. "I've got to work sometimes. I've got to worry sometimes. It's part of being an adult. "

"You're the only girl I know who talks like that." She stepped closer and put her arms around his neck, brushing her lips against his smooth cheek. "That's why you like me, slicker. I'm a novelty for you. "

"This is why I like you," he said, bending his head and kissing her. The feel of his mouth on hers was pleasant. To her, their kisses were friendly gestures, casual signs of affection. To Bernie, they were promises of better things to come.

Long ago Bernie had become aware that Addie didn't intend to let him go any further than this. But that didn't stop him from trying. In his mind there were two kinds of women, the ones he respected and the ones he didn't. In a way, he rather liked Addie the way she was. But if she ever did let him go as far as he wanted with her, it would be his dream-come-true to make her into the kind of woman he didn't respect.

"Addie," he said roughly, holding her tighter, "When are you going to say yes to me? When are you going to start living? Why don't you and I-"

"Because," she said, sighing ruefully. "Just because. Maybe I'm being a silly romantic, but I just think we should feel more for each other than this, if we were going to be closer."

"Things could be so good between us. I wouldn't ever hurt you." His voice dropped to a whisper as he pressed soft kisses on her lips. "I want to be the one to make you a woman. I know you haven't ever trusted anyone enough. But it'll be right for you and me, so damn natural and good. Addie… "

She twisted out of his arms with a choked laugh.

"Bernie, stop. I'm not ready for that, not with anyone. I… " She looked around and chuckled nervously, lowering her voice. "I can't believe we're having this conversation on the front lawn. I'll bet all the neighbors are listening. “

But he didn't share her amusement. He stared at her solemnly. "All I know is that something's wrong with a girl who locks herself away from life the way you do."

The accusation hurt. "I don't," she protested, more bewildered than angry. "Bernie, what's wrong? Just a minute ago, we were laughing-"

"Are you holding out for marriage?" he asked bluntly. "Is that why you won't make love with me?"

'I don't want to marry anyone. And I don't want to be anyone's… you know. I don't feel that way with you. I like you, Bernie, but there has to be more. That doesn't mean I'm locking myself away from life."

"It does." His faced reflected his frustration. "The only people you care about in the world are your aunt and yourself, and the rest of us can go to hell."

"That's not true!"

"You don't connect with people," Bernie continued relentlessly. "You're in your own private world, and the only one you let in is Leah. But when she's gone, there won't be anyone for you. You've cut us all out. You won't give and you won't take."

"Stop it!" Suddenly the things he said were unbearable. She hated him for telling her, even if he was right. "I don't want to hear any more. And I don't want to see you again. "

"If this is all I'll ever get from you, the feeling is mutual, baby."

Addie backed away from him and fled up the steps, her eyes watering. In the morning, all she said to Leah about the date was that she and Bernie were finished. Leah was sensitive enough to keep from asking questions, seeming to understand what had happened without being told.

Over the next few days Addie didn't have time to think about Bernie. She was too busy taking care of Leah. There was no way to deny that time was catching up to Leah very quickly. It would not be held off much longer, not by medicine or prayers, not even by Leah's will to live. Daily the older woman 'was growing weaker and less interested in what was going on around her. Although this end was what Doc Haskin had led her to expect, Addie was moved by fear and helpless frustration to send for him.

The elderly doctor did nothing but sit by Leah's bed and talk to her quietly, his presence temporarily banishing her confusion and dullness of spirit. The sight of her aunt's feeble smile sent Addie's spirits soaring, which made it that much more difficult to bear what Doc Haskin said to her after he had left Leah's room.

"Not much more time, Addie."

"But… she's going to hold on a little longer. She's already looking better-"

"She's accepted what's going to happen," he said in his kindly way, his face as brown and wrinkled as a nutshell, creased with sympathy. A shock of silver hair fell over his brow as he looked down at her. "You'd better try to do the same. Help her go easy. Don't fight it. "

"Don't fight it? Don't… God in heaven, what are you saying? Don't you have anything that can help her? Some stronger medicine or-"

"I won't give you a lecture, my girl. I can't tell you anything about her you don't already know. All I can say is, it's going to be soon, and you should get ready for it."

Stricken, she turned away from him and tried to stifle the choking feeling that had risen in her throat. It was panic she was holding back, a primitive panic that would not be eased with any words of kindness. She felt Doc's frail hand on her shoulder, and heard his words as if he were standing far away from her.