Carol Clark - He Sees You When You're Sleeping

“Denise, I know you’ve got your hands full,” Billy Campbell said quietly. “You have the packages we sent, but is there anything Marissa really needs? Maybe she’s talked about something special I could still get for her.”

He heard a loud crash and the sound of a wailing two-year-old.

“Oh my God, the Waterford angel,” Denise Ward nearly sobbed. “Don’t go near it, Robert. Do you hear me? You’ll get cut.” Her voice taut with anger, she snapped, “You want to know what Marissa needs, Billy? She needs you and Nor, and she needs both of you soon. I’m worried sick about her. Roy is too. He tries so hard with her, and she simply won’t respond.”

“How do you think I feel, Denise?” Billy asked, his voice rising. “I’d give my right arm to be with Marissa. My guts are torn out every day that I’m not with her. I’m grateful that Roy is there for her, but she’s my kid and I miss her.”

“I think of how lucky I am to have met a dependable man who has a nice steady job, who isn’t out till all hours playing with a rock group, and doesn’t get himself into situations where he has to hightail it out of town.” Denise did not pause for breath. “Marissa is hurting. Have you got that, Billy? Her birthday is in four days. Christmas Eve. I don’t know what she’ll be like when you’re not here for that. The child feels abandoned.”

Nor Kelly saw the expression of pain that came over her son’s face and watched as he clasped his hand over his forehead. Her ex-daughter-in-law was a good mother, but was nearing the end of her rope out of frustration with the situation. She wanted them back for Marissa’s sake, but would be frantic with worry that Marissa might be in danger if they were around.

“So, Billy, I’ll tell her you called. I’ve got to hang up. Oh, wait a minute. The car just pulled into the driveway. I’ll see if she’ll talk to you.”

A nice house, Sterling thought as he followed Marissa and Roy up the steps. Tudor style. Evergreens covered with blue lights. A small sleigh with Santa and the eight reindeer on the lawn. Everything pristine. He was sure Roy was a neatnik.

Roy unlocked the door and flung it open. “Where are my munchkins?” he called playfully. “Roy Junior, Robert, your daddy’s back.”

Sterling jumped aside as two identical sandy-haired toddlers raced toward them. He could see into the living room where a pretty blond woman, looking extremely harried, was holding a phone with no cord (obviously another innovation since Sterling ’s departure). She gestured to Marissa. “Your dad and NorNor want to talk to you very, very much,” she said.

Marissa walked into the living room, took the phone from her mother, and to Sterling ’s astonishment, replaced the receiver on the cradle, and, her eyes brimming with tears, ran upstairs.

Wow! Sterling thought.

He didn’t yet know what the problem was, but he empathized with the helpless glance Marissa’s mother exchanged with her husband. It looks as though I’ve got my work cut out for me, he decided. Marissa needs help now.

He followed Marissa up the stairs and knocked on the door of her room.

“Please leave me alone, Mom. I’m not hungry, and I don’t want to eat.”

“It’s not Mom, Marissa,” Sterling said.

He heard the lock turn, and the door opened slowly. Marissa’s eyes widened, and her woebegone expression changed to one of astonishment. “I saw you when I was skating and then when I got in the van,” she whispered. “But then I didn’t see you anymore. Are you a ghost?”

Sterling smiled at her. “Not really a ghost. I’m more on the order of an angel, but I’m not really an angel. In fact that’s why I’m here.”

“You want to help me, don’t you?”

Sterling felt a wrench of tenderness as he looked into Marissa’s troubled blue eyes. “I want to help you more than anything in the world. For my sake as well as yours.”

“Are you in trouble with God?”

“Let’s just say he’s not thrilled with me at the moment. He doesn’t think I’m ready for heaven yet.”

Marissa rolled her eyes. “I know lots of people who are never going to get to heaven.”

Sterling laughed. “There were some people I was sure wouldn’t make it, and now they’re right up there with the best of them.”

“Go figure,” Marissa said. “Do you want to come in? I have a chair that was big enough for my dad when he came over to help me with my homework.”

She’s charming, Sterling thought as he followed her into the spacious room. What a little personality. He was glad that Marissa knew instinctively that he was a kindred spirit, one she could trust. She already looked a little happier.

He settled himself in the armchair she indicated and realized he was still wearing his hat. “Oh, sorry,” he murmured, took it off, and placed it neatly on his lap.

Marissa pulled out her desk chair and sat down with the air of a polite hostess. “I wish I could offer you a soda and some cookies or something, but if I go downstairs they’ll want me to eat dinner.” She wrinkled her nose. “I just thought about something. Do you get hungry? Can you eat? Because it looks like you’re there, but not really.”

“I’m just trying to figure all that out myself,” Sterling admitted. “This is my first shot at this sort of thing. Now tell me, why won’t you talk to your dad?”

Marissa looked down as a shadow fell over her face. “He won’t come and see me and he won’t let me go and visit him and neither will NorNor-she’s my grandmother. And if they don’t want to see me, I don’t want to see them.”

“Where do they live?”

“I don’t know,” Marissa burst out. “They won’t tell me, and Mom doesn’t know. She said they’re hiding out from bad people who want to hurt them and they can’t come back until it’s safe, but at school kids say they think Daddy and NorNor got in trouble and had to run away.”

Which is it? Sterling wondered. “When was the last time you saw them?”

“Two days after Christmas last year was when I really saw them. Daddy and I went ice skating. Then we went back to NorNor’s restaurant for lunch. We were supposed to go to Radio City Music Hall on New Year’s Eve morning, but he and NorNor had to go away. They rushed in when I was hardly even awake and said good-bye. They didn’t tell me when they were coming back, and it’s been almost a whole year.” She paused. “I have to see Daddy, I have to see NorNor.”

Her heart is broken, Sterling thought. He understood that kind of ache. It was like the yearning he felt when he saw Annie go past the window to heaven.

“Marissa…” There was a knock at the bedroom door.

“Oh, I knew it,” Marissa said. “Mom is going to make me go down and have dinner. I’m not hungry and I don’t want you to leave.”

“Marissa, I’m going to get to work on your problem. I’ll be back to say good night.”

“Promise?”

“Marissa.” There was another knock at the door.

“Yes, but you promise me something in return,” Sterling said hastily. “Your mom is really worried about you. Give her a break.”

“Okay. I’ll even give Roy a break, and anyhow, I like chicken. Mom, I’m coming,” she called. She turned back to Sterling. “Give me a high five.”

“What’s that?” Sterling asked.

Marissa was incredulous. “You must be pretty old. Everybody knows what a high five is.”

“I’ve been out of touch,” Sterling admitted as, following her example, he raised his hand, palm flat, and held it open as she gave it an enthusiastic slap.

Precocious, he thought, smiling. “See you later,” he whispered.

“Great. Don’t forget your hat. I don’t want to be mean, but it really looks dumb.”