Jonathan Kellerman - Bad Love

My head hurt and so did my eyes. I rubbed them and drank water.

The waitress came over and looked at our uneaten meals.

"Is something wrong?"

"No," said Milo. "Something just came up and we've gotta run."

"I can doggy-bag it for you."

"No, that's okay." He handed her the cash.

She frowned. "Oka-ay, I'll be back with your change, sir."

"Keep it."

Her smile was as wide as the beach. "Thank you, sir- we're offering a complimentary custard dessert, today."

Milo patted his gut. "Maybe another time."

"You're sure, sir? They're real good." She touched his arm, briefly. "Really."

"Okay," he said, "you twisted my arm. Pack a couple to go."

"Right away, sir."

She ran off and came back seconds later with a paper bag printed with the face of a happy-looking hound and the words FOR BOWSER. Milo carried it and we left the restaurant and headed for the Seville. As I got in the car, I realized he wasn't with me and I turned back to see him standing over a skinny, bare-chested kid of around eighteen. The kid was sitting on the breezeway in front of the motel and holding a shirt-cardboard sign that said, WILL WORK FOR FOOD. His tan was intense, his cheeks were sunken, and his hair was a greasy umbrella.

Milo gave him the bag. The kid said something. Milo looked angry, but he reached into his wallet and handed the kid something green.

Then he got in the passenger seat and growled: "Take me to work."

The scene in the garage stayed with me during the drive back to L.A. Bad traffic just past Thousand Oaks had me sitting still, Katarina's mangled body filling my head. I listened to the Seville idle, thought about pain and vengeance and Robin all alone up on Benedict Canyon. Mr. Silk, whoever he was, had won a partial victory.

Things finally got moving again. I escaped 101, made it to 405 and had a clear sail to Sunset. I was heading up Benedict shortly after nine-thirty when I noticed two red dots floating ahead of me.

Brake lights. A car stopped.

It seemed to be paused right in front of the narrow road that led to my adopted home, though from this distance, I couldn't be sure. I put on speed, but before I got there, the lights dimmed and the car was gone, traveling too fast for me to catch up.

Probably nothing, but I was stumbling along the thin line between paranoia and caution and my heart was pounding. I waited. Everything stayed silent. I drove up to the white gate, slipped the cardkey in the slot, and raced up the cypress-lined driveway.

The house was lit from within, the garage shut. I approached the front door, wet with sweat, turned the key, and stepped inside, chest bursting.

Robin was stretched out on a sofa reading a design magazine. The bulldog was wedged between her legs, head nestled in her lap, trapdoor mouth open and snoring.

"Beauty and the Beast," I said, but my voice was weak.

She looked up, smiled, and held out her hand. The dog opened one eye, then let the lid drop.

"Been shopping all afternoon?" I said, taking off my jacket. "I tried calling a bunch of times."

"Uh-huh," she said. "Lots of errands… What's the matter, Alex?"

I told her what I'd found on Shoreline Drive.

"Oh, no!" She propped herself on her elbows. The dog grumbled awake, but he stayed down. "You came so close to walking in on it."

I sat down. As she squeezed my hand, I recounted what I'd found and what I'd learned from Bert Harrison and Condon Bancroft. She listened with her fingers at her mouth.

"Whoever's behind this is relentless," I said. "I want you to move somewhere else temporarily."

She sat up completely. "What?"

"Just for a while. I'm not safe to be around."

"We moved so you would be, Alex. How could anyone know you're here?"

Thinking of the brake lights, I said, "I'm sure no one does, but I just want to be careful. I spoke to Milo. You can move into his place. Just till things ease up."

"It's not necessary, Alex."

The dog was completely awake now, shifting his glance from Robin to me, his brow wrinkles deeper. The confusion and fear of a kid watching his parents fight.

"Just temporarily," I said.

"Temporarily? If this person's done everything you think he has, he waits years! So what kind of temporary are we talking about here?"

I had no answer.

She said, "No. No way, Alex, I won't leave you. To hell with him- he can't do that to us."

"Robin, she was pregnant. I saw what he did to her."

"No," she said, eyes brimming. "Please. I don't want to hear about it."

"Okay," I said.

She pitched forward as if falling and grabbed my shoulders with both hands. Pulling me closer, she held on tight, as if still off balance. Her cheek was up against mine and her breath was in my ear, hot and quick.

"It's okay," I said. "We'll work it out."

She squeezed me. "Oh, Alex, let's just move to another planet."

The dog jumped from the couch to the floor, sat down and stared at us. Whistling noises came from his compressed nostrils, but his eyes were clear and active, almost human.

"Hey, Spike," I said, reaching over. "He been good?"

"The best."

The affection in her voice made his ears go up. He trotted up to the edge of the couch and rested his flews on her knee. She caressed his head and he lifted his chin and gave her palm a long, wet tongue swipe.

"You could take him with you," I said. "You'd have constant masculine attention."

"Put it out of your mind, Alex." Her nails dug into my back. "We probably won't have him much longer, anyway. I got a call this morning from a group called French Bulldog Rescue. Very sweet lady over in Burbank- you wrote to the national club and they forwarded it to her. She's putting out feelers, says these little guys are almost never intentionally abandoned, so it's just a matter of time before the owners call to claim him."

"No one's reported him missing so far?"

"No, but don't get your hopes up. She's got a pretty good communication network, seems pretty sure she'll find his owner. She offered to come by and take him off our hands, but I said we'd care for him in the meantime."

The dog was looking up at me expectantly. I rested my hand on his head and he made a low, satisfied noise.

Robin said, "Now I know how foster parents feel." She grabbed a handful of soft chin and kissed it. Her shorts had rolled high on her thighs and she tugged them down. "Have you had dinner yet?"

"No."

"I bought stuff- chilies rellenos, enchiladas. Even got a six-pack of Corona, so we could pretend we were party animals. It's a little late now to start a whole feast, but I can put something together if you're hungry."

"Don't bother, I'll make a sandwich."

"No, let me, Alex. I need something to do with my hands. Afterward we can get in bed with the crossword and some really bad TV and who knows what else."

"Who knows?" I said, drawing her to me.

• • •

We turned off the lights around midnight. I fell away easily, but I woke up feeling as if I'd been drained of body fluids.

I endured breakfast, feeding the dog bits of scrambled egg and making conversation with Robin until the two of them went to the garage.

As soon as I was alone, I called Dr. Shirley Rosenblatt in Manhattan and got the same taped message. I repeated my pitch, told her it was more urgent than ever, and asked her to get in touch as soon as possible. When no callback had come in by the time I'd finished showering, shaving, and dressing, I phoned Jean Jeffers. She was out for the day- some kind of meeting downtown- and hadn't left word with her secretary about Lyle Gritz. Remembering her eagerness to look for him, I figured she'd come up empty.